Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20252) - you totally deserved it (4159)
On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
I broke my thumb in second grade playing rock paper scissors. Not so ridiculous anymore.
#98 - On 10/28/2009 at 7:44pm by dinosaursmoo
That must have been a pretty epic game of rock paper scissors xD
#110 - On 10/28/2009 at 9:13pm by paperxclips
Wow... that takes skill, my friend. That, or you've got some dangerous fucking spoons in your kitchen. At least you discovered that before it got to your mouth, right?
#2 - On 10/28/2009 at 11:07am by Tequilamockngbrd
Except that he got that somewhere else - the Simpsons I think.
OP, you didn't win anything. The doctor did so your life sucks even more.
Hahaha, cleverrr ;)
Spoons are bad, see here? So spooning is bad! Got it? Stay away from boys. They will cut you, all those sharp edges and such.
#77 - On 10/28/2009 at 4:22pm by Sun_Kissed18
Are you Filipino???
"Only a Filipino could find the sharpest edge of a SPOON" -Rex Navarette
#9 - On 10/28/2009 at 11:18am by anglicdvil524
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
1st!!!!!!! And how the heck do you cut yourself with a spoon?!?!
I'm calling YDI on this one...seriously...how dangerous are your spoons? How the hell do you cut yourself on one of those?
#11 - On 10/28/2009 at 11:23am by The_Disturbed
hahahahahahahaha
to OP...... If you can cut yourself open with a spoon.....I think I'm more impressed than thinking you're an idiot.
did you shove it into your finger? that seems hard to do.
#13 - On 10/28/2009 at 11:31am by golimat619
I don't think this is a FML, just hilarous. what kinda spoons do you have? I gotta remember to stay away from that pattern haha
#15 - On 10/28/2009 at 11:33am by KarasuFyre
This FML should have just read "Today I cut my finger open..... with a spoon. FML" seriously thats the fml not the doctors making fun of you althought I would have too
That's exactly what I was thinking! When I read the first sentence I thought, "and that's not the fml?"
Op, posting it on the internet probably wasn't the best way to reduce your humiliation...
he says a spoon. He does not say what kind of spoon. It could be one of the spork things. XD Gotta think about all the types of Spoons! ;o
#17 - On 10/28/2009 at 11:36am by Lokis_Demise
Maybe there is a new spork like thing out now, a koon, for all you emos out there who want to take soup to a whole new level.
#120 - On 10/28/2009 at 11:39pm by neon_shoes
LoL My best friend is a ER surgeon and they compete for weirdest patient all the time. She's told me some crazy stories. They do it to make the days more bearable (they see some pretty horrible stuff in the ER).
#33 - On 10/28/2009 at 12:32pm by MonkeySpeaks
Hey, working the ER is crap :) You get people coming in everyday wanting miracle medicine for the flu or the cold, hard to work with patients, and the like. This is the only way you get to keep your sanity :)
#43 - On 10/28/2009 at 1:10pm by spazzdoodle
i dont think i could cut some of my finger off with a spoon if i tried.
#19 - On 10/28/2009 at 11:41am by realsiq
How do you cut your finger with a spoon, all I can think of is a grapefruit spoon because it has serrations.
sorry bout your injury, but this is, after all, why bandaids were born.
or butterfly closures, if you're feeling dramatic.
I broke my wrist once when I put my rollerblades on and fell while getting up to get my wrist guards. I have nerve damage in my foot from kicking a car tire. I also had a finger gash - this being from when one of my pet triggerfish took about a 1/2" gouge of skin out of my fingertip while I was cleaning its tank.
Seriously, sh*t happens. These crazy things keep doctors' days jovial.
#24 - On 10/28/2009 at 11:59am by flgirlwguitar
Exactly. They see some horrible stuff in the ER. I mean horrible. Its the funny cases that kind of balance it out. A buddy of mine in college chopped a piece of his finger off with a deli slicer at work. He was tehrefore known as Gnubby. He definitely had a sense of humor about it.
#35 - On 10/28/2009 at 12:35pm by MonkeySpeaks
Your seriously injury prone! Probably even more than me and I'm the klutz of the century!
@OP A spoon?! How frickin sharp was it?!?!???!!!
#59 - On 10/28/2009 at 2:03pm by LuveitsGreat
Dammit! You got there first.
I got attacked by a pair of humuhumus once. I was out snorkeling at Hanauma, and this huge trigger just darted at my mask, got within 3 inches of me, and sharply turned. It started swimming around me and another had followed as was doing the same thing. All was fine and dandy until a wave rolled over me, knocking me off balance and I almost hit one. Their spines came up, and they started charging me and retreating repeatedly. It was the trippiest thing ever. It was like they thought they were sharks. It was so cute.!
#63 - On 10/28/2009 at 2:42pm by hot_mess88
hahahah, this happened to me when I was hospitalized for a turtle bite, granted it was a 135lbs Macroclemys temmincki (alli snapper) bite. the triage nurses took pictures with their phones.
#36 - On 10/28/2009 at 12:37pm by smartass101
hey! spoons actually hurt more than forks when you stab your hand!
spoon injuries are more common than you have been led to believe...
Okay, it's never fun for anyone when they might, or might not in this case, have to get stitches, but to be cut by a spoon is just downright hilarious. XP
This one is probably fake, but if you're seriously dumb enough to cut yourself with a spoon you deserve it.
#40 - On 10/28/2009 at 12:49pm by israelnotjacob
A spoon? Terrific!
Was it a clean scoop?
Did you have bits of cereal or oatmeal embedded in your finger?
Now, go find out if you can cut your finger on these:
[ ] Plastic clothes-hanger
[ ] Deodorant cap
[ ] Banana peel
[ ] Bath towel
[ ] Milk
#47 - On 10/28/2009 at 1:21pm by Witchcraft
this is silly, but i'm going to try to cut my finger with a spoon too.
&&
someone should tell the emo kids that they can stop using razors now.
What the Fuck was it, a grapefruit spoon? The doctor's should have clobbered you over the head with a Fucking Hammer!
This has actually struck fear into my heart, great, yet another thing for me to fear.
#56 - On 10/28/2009 at 1:58pm by unluckyday
How the HELL do you cut your finger with a spoon? You got to be some kind of special to do that. Did you take the short bus to the ER?
#58 - On 10/28/2009 at 2:01pm by FML_FYL_2009
I've always threatened to cut people with a dull spoon... Now I know it actually works. Thanks, OP. Don't be surprised if you see newspaper headlines that include something along the lines of "New Serial Killer Killing With Cereal Spoons".
#60 - On 10/28/2009 at 2:07pm by clockworkrainbow
OP needs to make an account so she can tell us how she cut her finger with a spoon! PLEASE OP!! I'm sooo curious! (oh and post pictures too.)
I cut my finger with a plastic spoon before. It had a crack in it then somehow broke and sliced my finger. It was pretty sharp but the cut wasn't that bad.
Sorry OP. Deep cuts on the finger really scare me! I don't know how you sat through 4 hours of waiting..that's got to be exagerrated. I know waits are long but seriously?! With that kind of cut I would think they would have helped by 2 hours haha.
#64 - On 10/28/2009 at 2:47pm by potatocats
LOL really? A spoon? Was it a plastic spoon? Those can be pretty fuckin dangerous
#67 - On 10/28/2009 at 2:58pm by LikeOhMahGoose
FYL? Fuck the doctors life....
Today, me and my fellow ER doctors decided to have a contest of which patient could have the most redicoulus injury. I put my $5 on this guy who actually ran into a parked car so I thought I was set..until Joe pointed out this American who cut his hand with a freakin spoon. So close yet so far. FML
#68 - On 10/28/2009 at 2:58pm by CH33RL34D3R
Guys you don't have to be mentally retarded to cut yourself with a spoon. My mom did it once. Someone turned the garbage disposal on with the spoon in the sink so there was a nick in the spoon, and the corners were very sharp. My mom was doing the dishes and she grabbed the spoon out of the dishwasher but it was stuck on something and when she pulled it cut her finger open really deep. So yeah, we don't know how this actually happened, it could have been something that could've happened to anyone, doesn't make the OP retarded.
while your injury does indeed sound idiotic... I kind of feel that hospitals should be a little more professional and confidential... FYL
hospitals emergencies are there for real emergencies. everyone else has to wait. duh. you don't go through 6 years of uni to glue up cut fingers. go to your doctor, not the hospital for something that dumb.
#162 - On 11/08/2009 at 8:52am by bored690
k um.one question . how do u use a spoon to cut ur finger....
#78 - On 10/28/2009 at 4:27pm by tina_xox
enough about your finger, lets hear more about that spoon
#84 - On 10/28/2009 at 5:56pm by roflmaonade
I don't know how you did it but you must deserve it to actually do it
#85 - On 10/28/2009 at 6:03pm by Stranger35
Tell me your secret!!! I've been trying to cut myself with a spoon for about 5 minutes now and I can only feel a little bit of bruising... How the hell did you do it?
#89 - On 10/28/2009 at 6:42pm by Andrewl_FML
Today, I was grocery shopping with my mom. In the checkout lane, I was standing around waiting for my mom to get done when the guy that was bagging the items held out to me my mom's diet coke. I hate diet soda. FML
how did you cut yourself with a spoon? I never heard anything like this before. what kind of spoon where you using?
#95 - On 10/28/2009 at 7:17pm by blackberry1993
YDI for one reason only. you cut your finger open with a friggin spoon.
#100 - On 10/28/2009 at 7:48pm by powermad80
It is possible to cut yourself with a spoon if you are using plastic ones. Some of those are actually ridiculously sharp (sharper than the knives), and I've cut my lip with one before. If it was one of those FYL, those things are deadly.
0_O
a spoon?
dude that takes some serious skill.
bravo.
ahaha
#103 - On 10/28/2009 at 8:11pm by banana_head
what the fuck??? how the fuck do you cut yourself with a fucking spoon? i mean seriously. it doesn't have a fucking edge...i need to learn how to do that
#105 - On 10/28/2009 at 8:30pm by lifesfailure
Hey, I have a scar on my upper lip from a pretzel. Stranger things have happened.
#106 - On 10/28/2009 at 8:31pm by animejen1988
I was wondering the same thing, but it might've been a grapefruit spoon.
#111 - On 10/28/2009 at 9:16pm by giganticbrain
I'm not going to be one of the other 114 or whatever that has said "HOW?!" because honestly... I have cut myself with a spoon as well...
and a plastic bottle [no not cut in half, a fully intact bottle].... but that's not the point.
Doctors suck.
This fail is so epic, it's almost a win. almost........
#124 - On 10/29/2009 at 12:03am by Guitarist45
I'm sorry, but you cut yourself with a fucking spoon!? Are you retarded, actually I take that back. A retarded person wouldn't do something that stupid. Do everybody a favor and kill yourself, because we don't need any more morons running around doing stupid shit like CUTTING THEMSELVES WITH SPOONS! Sorry, but I had to let that out.
#126 - On 10/29/2009 at 12:15am by crymeariver1984
your a fucken tool.
honestly, telling someone to kill themselves 'cuz they cut there finger with a sppoon?
yeah, it's fucken dumb; but who gives a shit.
Im sure you laugh your ass off @ all the other dumbcrap on this site,
so just let it fucken go and get a life.
ps. ANYONE OLDER THEN 19, should not be on this site.
go fucken do something with your families, or work on your fucken career.
oh! AND STAY THE FUCK OF MLIA.
srsly, we dont physco's like you going on it and ruining that site too.
#144 - On 10/29/2009 at 9:05pm by crazieaish
You really need to grow up, get some education (that involves learning how to type and spell, or the very least how to use spell check), get some life experiences, and when that has happened perhaps you will be mature enough to leave comments that do not make you sound more "special" than the OP. Your crass language, hidious spelling and grammar, and childish comments about people older than 19, negate the excellent point about crymeariver1984 being a tool.
#146 - On 10/29/2009 at 10:54pm by mousiegirl
not only are you stupid, but you definitely gave parents of emos something new o remove from the house. thanks to you, those families can cross soup out of their already limited menu choices. good job, asshole.
#127 - On 10/29/2009 at 12:17am by _THE_MASTER_
if you can maim with a spoon then you should be feared.
#128 - On 10/29/2009 at 12:19am by subcultured
thats hilarious, i once got locked knee from standing... yup. standing. worst 6 weeks of my life wearing that brace.
#131 - On 10/29/2009 at 12:35am by rallychild
1. gross.
2. what is wrong with those doctors, really?
3. how the hell do you cut yourself with a sooon?
I had to read the first sentence of this about 10 times before I was completely sure I had read it right.
How in the hell do you cut yourself with a SPOON?
#135 - On 10/29/2009 at 1:34am by elliekinslurvsya
besad: Think Bruce Wayne, then reread the comments.
And was I the only one whose first thought was "A lot of high school principals are gonna be scratching their heads over the bruised thumb epidemic this week"?!
#137 - On 10/29/2009 at 3:32am by TheIrishJaneDoe
Hey I'm Surprised you've not cut out your tongue yet...
Who knows when it will happen, being how dangerous SPOONS are !!
how do you cut yourself on a spoon....hahahha specialllllllllll
#139 - On 10/29/2009 at 9:12am by im_a_dinosaur
Er... what? I could maybe see doing that with a spork, but how the hell do you slice yourself with a spoon? Do you sharpen your spoon handles or something? WTF...
I lol'd at the doctors. That was awesome. How much did he win? xD
#140 - On 10/29/2009 at 11:16am by blastvortex
Please tell me how you did this.. I don't think I could cut myself with a SPOON if i tried.. YDI for being stupid.
this is why we dont have spoons in my house. we only use the safe non-sharp utensils like the steak knife and the pizza cutter
It's simple: if you don't want to be voted "most rediculous injury", don't cut your finger open with a friggin SPOON! You should play improbable island, 'cause THERE IS NO SPOON there. (Anybody who gets that joke: YOU ROCK!!!!!!) Anyway, seriously, some spoons can be kind of sharp, and CUTTING your finger I can believe, but CUTTING YOUR FINGER OPEN?!?!?!?!? You're just plain weird
#151 - On 10/30/2009 at 3:22pm by whatsisface
Duddeeee,
How in the heck do you cut your finger open w/a spooon? Hahahaa. Andd what does YDI meann?
I'm sorry, dude... I laughed.
I didn't know that was possible.
Put a warning on your silverware drawer.
yea no shit you won you cut yourself with a spoon w/ rounded smooth edges. at least all the spoons ive seen have rounded smooth edges
#161 - On 11/07/2009 at 11:39pm by ApolloandDixie
Was it a gradefruit spoon? Because those things can be turned into dangerous weapons!!!! XD I have cut my finger with a grapefruit spoon, but never actually knew it was possible to cut yourself open with a regular spoon! This is an accomplishment!!!!! :D Haha
