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Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks (28158) - you totally deserved it (1145)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Norrbottens Lan)

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omgwtf's life also sucks

presidont also deserved it

Comments

FIRST OPMGGFDGD
anyone wanna go on a date?

#1 - On 10/18/2009 at 1:52pm by leoofbodom

it's all in ur head. like depression. unlike my aunt's pneumonia....

#29 - On 10/18/2009 at 3:53pm by pwnrzero

Pampers anyone?

#31 - On 10/18/2009 at 4:56pm by Ajjas013

Don't read about Dead Hand then basically if anything nuclear hits Russia the USA will become a radioactive wasteland. If you do want to read about it and have explosive diahrea go here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Hand_%28nuclear_war%29

or here

http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/09/the-soviets-built-a-doomsday-machine-its-still-working/

#38 - On 10/18/2009 at 6:21pm by bugmenotmofo

so you're like....leaking liquid poop 24/7?

#40 - On 10/18/2009 at 7:08pm by wah_face

I would not worry about it. You should be scared shitless within 24 hours.

#41 - On 10/18/2009 at 7:14pm by FarSide

I sincerely hope you're joking. Depression is a real condition. I have it and it's terrible. You have no idea what it's like wanting to kill yourself for no reason at all.

#59 - On 10/19/2009 at 3:32am by Kuroftw

That's one very unfortunate condition.

Virtual hugs for you :( Very FML.

#2 - On 10/18/2009 at 1:52pm by Faithful_Jewel

that's so awful. i'm sorry. D:

#3 - On 10/18/2009 at 1:54pm by daniivanity

Look at the upside... you could be a superhero, like the incredible hulk. Except instead of turning big and muscular when you get angry, you shoot toxic shit out your ass when you get nervous.

Start writing your comic book adventures and get rich.

In the meantime, avoid job interviews and public speaking.

#4 - On 10/18/2009 at 1:54pm by FerrariCake

Best idea ever.
That really does suck though,
Take something to help yourself relax.

#8 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:01pm by _Naboo_

He shouldn't because he will become dependant of it....

#20 - On 10/18/2009 at 3:03pm by bballboy91

incredible bulk, turns brown and releases toxic smell :)

#22 - On 10/18/2009 at 3:18pm by grv

No, you can take things and NOT become dependent on them.

#27 - On 10/18/2009 at 3:44pm by _Naboo_

I almost passed out reading number 6 or
Was in nine I thing it is six but it is funny u so win number six XD

#54 - On 10/19/2009 at 1:19am by theman000

LOL

You really made my day with this comment.

#75 - On 10/21/2009 at 2:11pm by Natacha

IBS?

#5 - On 10/18/2009 at 1:58pm by orangebunny

Man that's funny. But bad for you. Wear man diapers at all times

#6 - On 10/18/2009 at 1:59pm by RetardedBuddy

butt munch.

#7 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:00pm by I_GET_ASS

I'm so sorry! I hope you are able to find a treatment for this!

#9 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:02pm by HarrietPotter

Now I'm wondering if it's the same as what I have. It sounds quite similar. Doesn't manifest more than thrice in an average week, but it's not very nice. >_>

#10 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:09pm by LH0026

A true FML.

#11 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:15pm by IamSpartacus

Let your butt express itself, even if the product is a melted Hershey mess! Stop repressing creativity you fucking fasscist.

#12 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:16pm by Triumvirate

if i were you i would stack slamingtons on their chooglers

#13 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:33pm by poostain

Looks like it's time to start stimulating your relaxation points then. Get crackin'.

#14 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:33pm by blastvortex

I have that.
Just smoke weed.

#15 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:39pm by PurpDOODE

Been there. It sucks. A low dose of nortriptyline helps.

#16 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:44pm by been_there

haha that's awesome lmao sucks to be you

#17 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:47pm by ohnoesnotagain

how old are you, 72? hmmm???

#18 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:56pm by gohome6513

As someone who spends most of her time with her stomach anxious at the prospect of being anxious, you have my sympathy. I hope you can find a treatment for it. :(

#19 - On 10/18/2009 at 2:56pm by Turnip_Girl

Same here. :|

#28 - On 10/18/2009 at 3:46pm by Yooh_Plus_Meh

Ahh! Welcome to my life for the past year or so. I have the same thing, I didn't used to have it, ever. But last year it started happening and now every time I go somewhere, even if I don't think I'm nervous, my stomach starts to hurt really bad and I keep thinking I'm going to have an emergency, so I go to the bathroom but there's nothing there. Well, so it's not exactly the same thing. I just FEEL like my butt's gonna explode, LOL, but it's fake pain, I don't actually have to go. I don't know when it's real though so I can't just brush it off. Sorry.

#21 - On 10/18/2009 at 3:10pm by Tarynkd

I have lived with that same exact problem for the last 10 years. I was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Anxiety disorder. I take Effexor XR and it helps me a lot. Look into it! Good luck!

#23 - On 10/18/2009 at 3:18pm by Jessitca

I have this same condition. Have had it for years. Every time I'm in a social situation, I get nervous that I may get the diarrhea, and being nervous... I do. It even ruined the first time I was with a girl... I have since found that colestid (colestipol hydrochloride) works really well at controlling it. As do mild anxiolytics or even SSRIs like Zoloft. Talk to a gastroenterologist, this is perfectly controllable.

#24 - On 10/18/2009 at 3:21pm by Telionis

Holy shit. That fucking sucks.
I... can't even imagine. I get pretty anxious myself sometimes... I hope this never happens.

#25 - On 10/18/2009 at 3:27pm by DameGreyWulf

that happens to me sometimes, if i'm really really nervous. Judging from the comments, it seems pretty normal

#26 - On 10/18/2009 at 3:36pm by steamship

You poor bastard

#30 - On 10/18/2009 at 4:21pm by ArthursLifeSucks

Wear Pampers and take meditation classes.

#32 - On 10/18/2009 at 5:05pm by EWKHou

Sorry.. that has to suck in an age when so many countries are stockpiling nuclear weapons and the unemployment rate in economic superpowers increase causing instability in world trade and new strands of viruses pop up confounding scientists and environmental fa.. whoa! Do you smell that?

JK, OP. Shit happens. Anxiety is real, so breathe. Focus on what you can change in your own life for now. Conserve your reactions to stress as much as you can. There's only so much you can do..

#33 - On 10/18/2009 at 5:07pm by mercyFML

Get it? Shit happens? Shit? Haha.

#34 - On 10/18/2009 at 5:09pm by Ajjas013

Well thats shitty.

ZING

#35 - On 10/18/2009 at 5:31pm by mauseum

Enough with your cliche zings.

#36 - On 10/18/2009 at 5:38pm by Ajjas013

I've had the same thing for the past 5 years (i'm only 20). I was diagnosed with IBS. My doctor told me to eat a high fiber diet which has helped out a lot along with taking imodium if i feel sick or to prevent it from happening when i need to go to certain places. Hope you find something that works for you soon

#37 - On 10/18/2009 at 5:46pm by GrkGrl

u must be skinny

#39 - On 10/18/2009 at 6:58pm by misspeg

Lay off the Colon Blow cereal for a few weeks.

#42 - On 10/18/2009 at 7:16pm by FarSide

atleast ur gonna lose maaad weight

#43 - On 10/18/2009 at 7:19pm by ryan0221

I know what your feeling..well, not anymore, but I had a severe case of IBD when I was 10 and right now I'm in between my 2nd and 3rd surgery to get rid of my colon. Imagine having in middle school and high school. When you do get anxious about it, you will have to go RIGHT away, certain foods make it worst and medicines help..but for me they didn't, hence the surgeries....good luck and I'm sorry, it really is a terrible thing to have.

#45 - On 10/18/2009 at 8:22pm by hunterjumper24

OP here, I've had this quite a while, only now I some bugger actually diagnosed me, IBS ofcourse.
I've had it for few years, mainly throughout school, man everytime you have too hold an oralpresentation or have a test you better do it quickly because that builds up extremely fast.
Thanks for all the pointers and hits, but I've already checked out everyone of them.
Appreciate it though.

I am envious of all you people with the golden rectums!

#48 - On 10/18/2009 at 9:37pm by vapors

i wonder what the logic behind that is, like when u get nervous is your body like "oh man this is making me nervous i better get explosive squirts just to be safe"

#46 - On 10/18/2009 at 9:29pm by PSyesinthatway

I've always thought of it as an defencive act from my body, whenever I'm in a tough position my body gives me an excuse too get out of it. Because violent diarrhea is always excusable.

#49 - On 10/18/2009 at 9:39pm by vapors

That's like me and my anxiety. I get anxious about becoming anxious which in turns gives me an attack.

#47 - On 10/18/2009 at 9:36pm by SarahxJane

Sounds like IBS to me. There are a lot of support groups available for it, and there are a few drugs you can take to help you relax at first. Your gonna be nervous all the time since you just found out about it, but soon enough you'll be able to control your anxiety without the help of meds. FYL

#50 - On 10/18/2009 at 10:08pm by GreenHacker

For the person who commented about "it's all in your head" go out & learn a little .. I'm 19 years old, I have had this problem since I was 9, when I was 10 I was diagnosed w/ gallstones and had to have my gall bladder removed at 10. It did nothing & so I still battle w/ this at 19. I was very involved with my high school; I was a cheerleader, homecoming queen, softball, you name it - Keeping it from boyfriends was rough, & telling them was at the least, awkward .. I had to hide this day after day. Do some research before you try & shut down someone because of their issues. kthanks.

#51 - On 10/18/2009 at 11:36pm by cuteb00ty09

Scared shitless...Oh my goodness that's a phrase I hoped would never come to life...O.o
Ummm...good luck with that...Maybe take some sort of training like...karate or tai chi, maybe it'll help you feel better? =)

#52 - On 10/19/2009 at 12:17am by CFR

Man I love vicous cycles.

#53 - On 10/19/2009 at 1:15am by Ninjaface

Whoever has ibs here please try a gluten free diet. I was diagnosed with ibs awhile back. once I tried a gluten free diet I got better very quickly (give it a week or so)! please give it a shot! It's worth a try. FYI I am not celiac and it still worked for me. no one should have to suffer if there might be a good solution that could work for you too!

#55 - On 10/19/2009 at 1:33am by cloudvii27

Prescription for Librax maybe?

#56 - On 10/19/2009 at 1:36am by lunchmeat5000

If you ever get pulled over, I recomend having a hole cut out in your drivers seat to fit a bucket that will catch the shit. I would dub it the DIARHEA SHIT CATCHER. Also get one of those things horses have under there assholes to keep there business from hitting the ground. You now have an extra good opportunity to say "the shit is gonna hit the fan. "

#57 - On 10/19/2009 at 1:38am by AnnoyingFlamingo

dude you got that from scrubs

#58 - On 10/19/2009 at 2:58am by allenvictory

this sucks i know how you feel though im barely 16 and i cant go anywhere far with out thing about getting nervous because of that problem

#60 - On 10/19/2009 at 4:38am by fugthis12

i bet you wish you could just RUN away from the problem.

#61 - On 10/19/2009 at 5:27am by ladiesman14

i saw a marathon runner who threw up had violent diarehha as she was crossing the finish line. RUNNING away from the problem will not help.

#62 - On 10/19/2009 at 5:30am by ladiesman14

It's probably all in your head--Damn!! What IS that god-awful smell??

#63 - On 10/19/2009 at 11:22am by FromCFL

This is a real condition, I have it. I've had to deal with this for the past 13 years. It does get better overtime as you learn to control your emotions. You have to kill your more "extreme" end emotions. You must prepare yourself before you get into a situation that you might get excited that you'll know you'll get excited. I know that sounds weird but it will make sense to you eventually. It is, in fact, all in your head, and that's where you defeat it. You cannot let stress get to you, you must let emotional situations "pass through you" and not take a hold of you. It's hard to explain but eventually you'll learn how to not become nervous or excited about anything. I've gotten to the point where I only get attacks when I'm nervous or excited about a girl. It used to be every little thing would set it off. And yeah, as others had said, explaining this to people is always a tough thing. Cause a) they don't believe you, and b) laugh and joke about it.

For the naysayers look up "Functional Gastronomical" conditions. You won't find it on Google easily cause it's not a very common condition.

#64 - On 10/19/2009 at 11:29am by someoneelsenotyo

Don't worry. You are only 3 once -- and only for a year. I would like to compliment the OP on being able to type this all by himself.

If you are *not* 3, grow the fuck up.

#65 - On 10/19/2009 at 1:24pm by ozymandias

For someone that calls themselves ozymandias you sure don't do much to educate yourself.

#67 - On 10/19/2009 at 3:09pm by someoneelsenotyo

Epitome of FML. There's nothing you can do to deserve that. Well done!

#66 - On 10/19/2009 at 2:54pm by tony8pie

hehheheee, im sorry..

#68 - On 10/19/2009 at 4:23pm by paxa

wow that sucks. i feel ur pain. i had something like that at the beginning of the year, because i started highschool, the waking up earlier and stress really threw me off. that was only for a couple weeks and it was really bothersome and depressing. FYL

#69 - On 10/19/2009 at 7:10pm by chabz

Well mine is better I faint sometimes when I poop yeah.... What's up now vanilla face

#70 - On 10/20/2009 at 12:47pm by Kickass89

J.D. on scrubs had that WIN

#72 - On 10/20/2009 at 7:28pm by Gregory7

hahahahah this MADE my day well that and my crush asking me to be his girlfriend(: aha yur life SUCKS! mine doesn't :D

#71 - On 10/20/2009 at 6:27pm by dELiA14

op get over yourself. I am 30 years old and have had ibs as long as I can remember. nut up or shut up.

#73 - On 10/21/2009 at 3:30am by Deadbydawn87

Man the worst period of my life was when i had 1 hour 20 minute bus ride to school everyday during HS with this condition. I would try to meditate to peaceful music everyday, but still 50+% of the time i ended up sprinting off the bus to the bathroom practically in tears. One time I didn't make it. Luckily no one was reallly sitting near me, and I hid it well enough. I pretended to be sleepy and got off the bus last.

#74 - On 10/21/2009 at 10:09am by pissmeoff

I know what that is. It really sucks. My mum has it.
It's Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).
Google it.
Or follow this link:

http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/ibs/

#76 - On 10/21/2009 at 2:16pm by Natacha

Damn... bein nervous bout gettin nervous is almost like failing at failing... but honestly, that condition is kinda messed up..

#77 - On 10/23/2009 at 7:23pm by YungMarlon23

Man I have that, too, except it's not always necessarily nerves. It's like my body knows that I just decided to go shopping and as soon as I get into the store my stomach starts cramping up. Hurray!

#78 - On 11/04/2009 at 10:56pm by molacolacake

that's gross

#79 - On 12/12/2009 at 8:56pm by cheerchick4life

to number 29. depression is not just " in your head". in some cases it can be. but in others the chemicals. such as serotonin and dopamine can be unbalanced. causing physical depression. figure this out before commenting untrue things.

#80 - On 01/24/2010 at 3:38am by 400am

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