Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10534) - you totally deserved it (38696)
On 08/30/2009 at 3:12am - health - by tomchuq (man) - United States (Alabama)
wow i feel so bad for this pencil. although I must say it would really stink to be that fat
#105 - On 08/30/2009 at 3:56pm by gotplayed93
Whats funny is i actually feel bad for the pencil, not the OP (#24 wins). I'm sick of these FMLs about the OPs complaining about their weight!! You could substitute this one with "Today, I'm still fat. FML" Do something about it!!! Go on a fucking diet!!! Sitting here and writing an FML about isn't gonna make you lose weight!!!
#130 - On 08/30/2009 at 9:22pm by fmlfmlfml15
Just because he has rolls doesn't mean he's fat. That sounds a little weird... But let me explain. I'm coming close to being overweight now, but not quite, I'm still in the "average" section. I have rolls. Of course, if I sit or stand up straight or if I lie down, of course I don't have rolls, but if I slouch, I have like three big ones. I have always had rolls like this for as long as I can remember. But I look back at a picture from two years ago and I was REALLY flipping skinny. I had rolls the size of Jupiter when I bent over, even back then. I'm not quite sure how it works, but it does. :\ And I could, without a doubt, hold pencils in them...
Thanks for telling me your life story, Plexico.
Now I know the true reason why your wife is divorcing you.
#33 - On 08/30/2009 at 10:53am by screwtaylor
Hey I'll get in on that. I cook and clean and give a decent BJ. I think my resume speaks for itself.
#159 - On 08/31/2009 at 8:19am by turnedoffTVgrey
While bending over or just standing regularly?
Did you know that that's also the test preteen and teen girls do to see if they need to wear a bra? Except, usually they should be wearing a bra anyway. Maybe you should too?
#7 - On 08/30/2009 at 10:15am by adelaide_evening
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
YDI for sitting on your ass, bitching about how fat you are instead of doing something to fix it
#11 - On 08/30/2009 at 10:24am by anniebananie
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
Then go on a five-bite diet, stupid.
Or maybe in your case, a no-bite diet.
YDI for eating like a cow, Fatty-Mcfat-Pants.
#13 - On 08/30/2009 at 10:25am by Hannah_Brooke
You're so immature.
People like you make others so worried about their image they become anorexic.
You're grosser than the OP.
#16 - On 08/30/2009 at 10:27am by screwtaylor
Dude, this is probably a fake anyways, at my school we sit and make stupid fake fml's the entire class period.
I don't take this shit seriously, and you probably shouldn't either.
#21 - On 08/30/2009 at 10:34am by Hannah_Brooke
Sad, but she's right. People need to take responsibility for themselves, and by that I mean people need to stop being fat. For fucks sake, put down the comfort food
#44 - On 08/30/2009 at 11:15am by esodrevOcinorhC
No, no, I am laughing at the situation: Stupid bitches making a big deal out of nothing.
#113 - On 08/30/2009 at 5:43pm by Hannah_Brooke
Thin people can do this. Depends on how you sit. There is no FML here.
Now, if it was an orange or something, then you'd get a real FML.
I'm 5'6" and 115lbs and can probably do it too, the point being,
the OP obviously found it disturbing that they could hold a pencil with their fat rolls.
Which really means they should get off their fat ass and go running instead of eating ramen noodles three times a day while writing about their fat on an online community.
#114 - On 08/30/2009 at 5:46pm by Hannah_Brooke
Hmm, you have a point. I have to bend over most of the time though, but you do have a point.
My fat rolls don't sit right! Argh.
Oh well there's always my boobs.
If OP is bothered about it though, he should do something about it...
#116 - On 08/30/2009 at 6:28pm by DameGreyWulf
Rofl Im like not fat fat but im overweight and i can do this by bending wayyyy over
Agreed with Number 14 its just harder for shkinny people.
easy for me, just stick it between the abs. tighten stomach muscle. ta da! no need to struggle with changing position.
#145 - On 08/31/2009 at 1:07am by organisedchaos
It's your own fault - now get the fuck off fmylife.com and start exercising, because the fat is not going to go if you keep complaining on the internet.
The wieght is gonna stay there regardless unless he starts starving himself.
Genetics are a bitch eh?
Hm, and genetics does not stop you from going outside and having a jog. Genetics does not have to have permanent effects on you, especially if you fight against what it is doing. There are lots of people of whom were fat, prior to them losing weight through an hour or two of trampolining a day, for a month - genetics has not stopped them. In fact, even just moving, so that your muscles require blood will get the fat off of your body.
Continuing, you imply that starving yourself is required, and the only way - yet people with muscular bodies are the people whom play in the olympics, and if not in the big, famous leagues of sports, then they are playing a few sport(s) on a regular basis. In fact, starving yourself would probably make you gain weight; you start to lose weight, but after some time, any food you take in, is stored as fat - simply because, your body believes you will need it. If you did not eat and gain weight, you'd simply die.
Also, we cannot assume that genetics is what has made him fat here, the original poster may have an incredibly good metabolic speed, yet ate far too much.
So, as you can see from my above points - he CAN go outside and do some exercise, he CAN get in good shape, and he SHOULD. Genetics is not stopping him, it is his own will.
@156: Too long, didn't read. Doubt a lot of people did, to be honest. You want to write a few compact sentences, not an essay. |:
#162 - On 08/31/2009 at 10:30am by n3rdzgotskillz
tldr; genetics dont force cake down your throat, fatass.
#188 - On 02/27/2010 at 10:19am by Haileykins
Where the fuck does my comments go?? I was one of the first people
#34 - On 08/30/2009 at 10:53am by shootingstar8D
Haha, loser.
I can hold not only a pencil, but flippers, gloves AND wrench.
#38 - On 08/30/2009 at 11:04am by UlmarBroemel
Your mother must be so proud...
OP: You deserve it for being on FML instead of getting off the computer.
That's not really fat. I mean, I am by no means overweight (165 for a 5'11" male) and i can do that with my abdominal area. Now, it would be a problem if it were something larger, like a water bottle..
#39 - On 08/30/2009 at 11:04am by ThatOneGuy11
rotfl. planet fitness hoy!
no seriously, get a trainer and a nutritionist before you die. via fatness.
huh wow look at all the people making fun of op when they kno that they are fat themselves and jsut want to make themselves feel better by making fun of others
#47 - On 08/30/2009 at 11:21am by eman4life23
YOU ARE TALKING BULLSHIT MATE COS I AINT FAT I IS SKINNY HAHA YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING BUT YOU DONT SO FUCK OFF WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DEFENDING THE FAT BASTARD ANYWAY ITS COS YOU'RE FAT AINT IT HAHAH
#49 - On 08/30/2009 at 11:25am by backagainbitch
no im actually one of the skinniest people I kno, not fair to make fun of fat people tho how would u feel if osmeone did that to you?
#50 - On 08/30/2009 at 11:26am by eman4life23
NO ONE COULD MAKE FUN OF ME FOR BEING FAT BECAUSE I AINT FAT BRUV FUCK YOU
#51 - On 08/30/2009 at 11:29am by backagainbitch
yea but u prob still had like no friends either cuz ur such a jackass rite?
#55 - On 08/30/2009 at 11:32am by eman4life23
I agree that fat people suck, but sir, you are a jackass. And we know you have no friends, and that's ok...
...However you're a massive tool so shut the fuck up
#108 - On 08/30/2009 at 4:26pm by esodrevOcinorhC
backagainbitch, CAPS ftl. god, that gets on my nerves. can't people just type normal?
#152 - On 08/31/2009 at 2:48am by septemberlovebug
You guys obviously don't realise that backagainbitch is trolling you all big time, and personally, i think its funny as hell.
Um wow...but at least if you start dating a really skinny girl give her the nickname "pencil" then ask her if shed like to get lost in your rolls :) haha jk that was really lame but whatevs
#54 - On 08/30/2009 at 11:32am by blackcatcutie
not really an FML if u were sitting down, I'd say most can do that with their stomach sitting down
#67 - On 08/30/2009 at 12:09pm by FlaminYawn
depending on the way I sit I can too but standing up I can't even put a pencil under my boobs. So if u can do that standing up that's kinda gross and get motivated to lose the weight and become healthier. But if it's from sitting down then that's normal cause most ppl can.
#76 - On 08/30/2009 at 12:58pm by fi3ldhock3ybab33
Sooo your fat... And expecting to get sympathy on fmylife.com? Not a wise choice, if you read the coments your going to get a lot of "YDI for being a fat fuck" and that will just put you down even more than you already are.
#78 - On 08/30/2009 at 1:05pm by blah123blah
who would expect to get sympathy on fmylife? almost everyone on here is an asshole. and the ones that are actually nice/decent just get bitched out by the assholes. i'm sure he just put the fml on here for fun.
#96 - On 08/30/2009 at 2:01pm by bholland16
And you posted it on FML? What do you expect a pity party? FYL for being too lazy to change something you're clearly not happy with.
dude, take control, get rid of the fat, but for gods sake stop whining to people about your life...
#83 - On 08/30/2009 at 1:21pm by cooliorocks93
You miight want to try exercising or just accept yourself as a bigger person.
#89 - On 08/30/2009 at 1:37pm by A_Lee_Is_Betta
Some people are ridiculous. A pencil is freaking small.
You might be a little chubby but honestly unless you can fit something sizable into your "fat rolls" you probably aren't that big.
Probably not, but if he keeps going this way - what's going to stop him starting to put big things between the rolls of fat? Also, he may not have tried things like a brick and therefore he doesn't know if he can hold a brick. ;)
Might as well get the 'rolls off of him now.
The real question is... Can you hold a pencil underneath your boobs?
#103 - On 08/30/2009 at 3:08pm by BreezyPear
ok ok ok, I keep wondering why these people complain about their weight instead of doing something about it. Now now, before I get flamed, let me make it clear I don't judge people based on their appearances, like on their beauty. The inner is always important of course cheh. All I am trying to say, is if your on here, saying "FML" lo, you clearly have low self esteem. Don't be down on it and don't do anything, be upbeat and try to change.
And yes, I do understand, some people have problems losing weight over medical reasons, but in some cases, there are ways to get around it.
But, if your happy with your body, there is absolutely no problem. It is good for people to have self confidence.
#107 - On 08/30/2009 at 4:09pm by GongButterfly
the OP is clearly not happy if he's saying it on this site.
#109 - On 08/30/2009 at 4:34pm by ohmandapants
Everybody has at least one fat roll and if you're a girl you can hold something under your boobs, even if you have to hunch over. No big deal, move on
#110 - On 08/30/2009 at 4:56pm by fanciesflutes
Dude it doesn´t take much to do it . unless you can do it standing up , now THaT Would be fuuked
#112 - On 08/30/2009 at 5:20pm by DanishDude
Like the guy said above me, everyone has fat rolls sitting down...I just tried it, and I can do it too, and my doc told me I'm underweight.
Shut the fuck up and lose weight fatty! Stop bitching and make an effort
#117 - On 08/30/2009 at 6:32pm by SAVIORxOMEGA
This is only a FML if you are fat enough to successfully write while you hold the pencil in the myriad of overlapping folds of your manboobs.
#124 - On 08/30/2009 at 7:57pm by allmidnighteyes
Lol okay, I just thought of that thing from Family Guy, I think it's the episode where Peter has no bones, and he's a big blob, and he's pulling stuff out of his fat and skin. Lol!!!!
#125 - On 08/30/2009 at 8:08pm by ILoveJace01
Im 5"6 90 lbs =P i can do it
You arent too bright
YDI for eating...(most lilely micky-d's)
(in which case... YOU SICKEN ME!!!)
You know what sickens me? When people are proud and self-righteous about looking like Holocaust survivors. Just keep starving yourself, li'l one. You aren't too bright and what can I say? When you eventually starve yourself to death, it'll just be survival of the fittest.
#149 - On 08/31/2009 at 2:26am by sacredpoppy
If someone has a fast metabolic rate they could eat quite a bit and still resume their small figures. Like myself, I will eat burgers and pizzas night on end, sitting on the computer - people still ask me if I'm anorexic, people still ask me if I'm bulimic. The poster whom you have replied to could be eating quite a bit - yet he keeps thin, and light. Starving yourself isn't too great either:
In a previous post I explained starving yourself will make you gain weight! And if he's not dead then I'm assuming he's eating a fair amount. After starving yourself for a while - no food AT ALL, you will probably die if you continue. How to prevent death due to starvation? Eat. And when you eat, in fear that you will die of starvation, your body adds all the calories of the food, that fats, and store it as fat on your body. If the person you're replying to is both alive, and has at least a decent weight, you can assume he's eating healthily.
For a final point, you can't presume his age.
For a really final point, that has nothing to do with weight gain/loss, the survivors of the Holocaust, are actually, for the most part, looking like your average, healthy civilian. All the lanky bodies you see in old photographs were either taken by Dr Josef Mengele (Angel Of Death), and his team; or the bodies were cremated and made into soap by the Nazis, or they were just left in massive trolleys to rot.
And here is where I end my post.
the pencil should have poked your fat, maybe you would end up being skinner without the rolls (:
its okay though you can always keep trying, and you know what they say practice makes perfect :D
#132 - On 08/30/2009 at 9:35pm by 3timesthefun
my brother does the same thing... AND he can shoot it at people
#133 - On 08/30/2009 at 9:37pm by coldplaylive2003
ok...fat ppl putting fmls on this site...unless u hav diabetes, it's your own fucking fault. eat one less gigantic serving of fucking fast food, walk places you normally drive-within reasonable distance-, try an easy diet....it really isn't that hard...if your uncomfortable with your wait, do something about it and stop sitting at the computer complaining about it...again, unless you have diabetes, in which case it's not your fault. :)
#135 - On 08/30/2009 at 10:12pm by allocomrade
Yeah I might be able to pull that off myself, but I'm not even going to attempt this stunt. I think it would only depress me if I tried and succeeded.
#136 - On 08/30/2009 at 10:13pm by feed_the_ducks
People need to stop with the self-pitying FML's. No one is flawless, get over your self, and leave room for the amusing FML's.
How would you figure this out? Did you say "Hm, I think I'm fat. I wonder if my fat rolls can hold a pencil... LET'S TRY IT!"
#140 - On 08/30/2009 at 10:44pm by kindofgocrazy
CHUBBY CHASING FOR THE WIN!!!
I really don't understand why everyone is so obsessed with being skinny, so long as you don't overeat you are what you are.
#141 - On 08/31/2009 at 12:06am by Admiral_Awesome
Oh trust me, a starved body can really want to make you puke. Look up some pictures from Auschwitz. You won't feel the same about how only fat people are digusting.
Calling somebody names because of what they look like makes you look stupid.
& calling somebody fat to tell them "the truth" doesn't make them feel better. It makes them feel worse about themselves. And your honestly a piece of shit if you like calling people names just to get a reaction out of anybody, your the one that needs help.
And also, i'm pretty sure they do know if there fat or obsess, their the ones that have to look in the mirror everyday, so don't remind them.
i agree with kaylaella..people are so fucking rude , like wtf? grow up... like what ever yea i am not saying to feel bad for them but aleast have some fucking respect. God, shows you mother fuckers aint love whats so ever.
PSHH thats nothing! i can warm up to 6 hands under my rolls! hide the remote and a knife!
they get to be really usefull!! loolol
#154 - On 08/31/2009 at 3:32am by Sugarshain
wtf is with all the fat FMLs! no one wants to hear about how fat u r!!!!!!!!!!
#161 - On 08/31/2009 at 9:59am by wubbie6723
I'm just clearing thing up for people - how comes people can read hundreds of two or three setenced posts, yet not read an 'essay'? O_o
oh, jesus. did anyone read the comment by chipa? how disgusting is that? this person has put so much thought into the fat roll thing. repulsive to have analyzed it so thoroughly... WTF?
it's only an fml if you can't find your penis in your fat rolls
#170 - On 09/01/2009 at 2:05am by billybobjoebob
hahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhaahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahaaahahahahaahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha
#176 - On 09/03/2009 at 9:07pm by Satans_Taint
jesus christ... that's disgusting... Go eat a twinkie to help you feel better or something, that's probably all you know how to do, right?
Go use your fingers like all the other people in the world do. And quit trying to find ways to lower your own self-esteem. Seriously, what were you thinking?
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#179 - On 09/04/2009 at 8:22pm by helpmeiamblind
Why'd you let yourself get so fat in the first place?!
#180 - On 09/05/2009 at 7:56pm by antonioohama
the question is how did it get there?did u roll around a desk or did u lift up your shirt and it just popped out of ur rolls?
#182 - On 09/12/2009 at 1:11pm by friskywisky
there was a doctor on tv who said he went to do surgery on a really obese man and in his roll was a old sandwich!!!! tell your friend he's a step away from hiding sandwiches
#183 - On 10/19/2009 at 11:27pm by poeticvibez07
I'm actually almost to that point myself. I joined the YMCA and I'm going to start working out religiously because I'm tired of being fat. Instead of complaining on FML, why don't you try it too? It's not too expensive and you really feel great when you're done with a workout.
#186 - On 12/29/2009 at 3:11pm by DynamicDave
