Miscellaneous: Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I... - FML

By N - 08/02/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 380

You deserved it 5 243

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Same thing different taste

By seriously? - 23/08/2013 07:40

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 878

You deserved it 10 522

Awkward conversation

By anon - 28/12/2019 05:00 - United States - La Puente

Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 588

You deserved it 370

By weirdesout - 05/06/2010 02:03 - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 963

You deserved it 8 738

Sensual moment

By Ekh0es - 11/04/2021 15:30 - United States - Garfield

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 2 458

By Brennan Lebrun - 18/05/2018 05:00

Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 910

You deserved it 354

By 13a5ic H1p5t3r - 15/08/2016 03:58 - United States - Spencer

Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 554

You deserved it 1 900

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 124

You deserved it 3 063

Classic move

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 20:00 - Canada - Saint-jérôme

Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 1 190

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 148

You deserved it 3 652

By DumbFace714 - 14/02/2015 01:43 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 862

You deserved it 2 815

Next

Top comments

katieatieay 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 16:09

you were sorely mistaken.

Roi_fml 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 15:52

... lulwut?

Comments

91Caleb 0

Monday 16 March 2009 22:20

thats not fml thats just wierd

xsydbabyx 0

Monday 23 March 2009 23:11

Your best 'girl' friend, Has a penis. Sux4u.

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:20

I make jokes like that all the time with my friends. She's either joking, or literally wants to. I'm leaning towards the joking option.

RussiasVodka 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:29

I agree, I'm the same with my friends too. By the way, I absolutely love your pic 38 :D

RussiasVodka 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:31

I mean 38, sorry. I fail.

randomstudios 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 6:37

I think you meant #36

intensify 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:32

I've been raped in the neck and kind of liked it.

jbabe 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 2:39

that isn't really an FML thing.

invindia93 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 18:57

Ha! That's what you get.

jennifersaballa 0

Friday 27 March 2009 2:04

Haha, i defiantly said that to my friend before and what i meant was that his voice was sexy and that if it was possible i would rape it not him cause i didn't really find him that attractive but it could also be used for someone attractive. :)

AmusedSunny 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 1:47

It's pretty obvious what happened here. Some guy had said it to her before, meaning he wanted to really thrust her throat, and she was simply repeating it, unwittingly out of gender context.

3daysgrace 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 17:31

LOLWUT http://www.saabcentral.com/phpgallery/albums/album49/Lolwut_verbose.jpg moar info nao plz

carly546 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 5:21

might not be a FML but definitly made me lol

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Keywords

Awkward Love Embarrassing Family Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming AITA Cars Cops Transportation Sexism Kids Relatable Work Health Mental health Growing old Animals Cats Periods Job interview Education Instagram Stalker Social Media Ironic Phobias Spiders Bikes

The Top

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 228

You deserved it 6 619

Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 161

The Top

Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 866

You deserved it 88 487

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 977

You deserved it 3 551

Today, It took me more than 4 hours to set up the back yard for my daughters baby shower. It only took my husband one push of a button to turn on the sprinklers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 066

You deserved it 3 864

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large muscular man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 282

You deserved it 8 556

Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 920

You deserved it 10 764

Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 091

You deserved it 1 857