Today, just after updating my status on my socials, my (now ex)...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Caden - 22/11/2021 01:53 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, just after updating my status on my socials, my (now ex) girlfriend’s *other* boyfriend texted me saying that they were dating. He had no idea either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 19

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Management Work Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Relatable Health Healthy Lifestyle Food Ironic Money Birthday Family Mother in law Gifts Public freakouts Parents Education Students Exams Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview

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Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 106

Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 97

The Top

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 518

You deserved it 4 851

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 673

You deserved it 6 226

Today, while preparing the house for company, I got a call that my sister had a heart attack and died. My wife's response? "Great! Now you're going to be no help to me at all!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 228

You deserved it 2 703

Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 297

You deserved it 12 204

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 933

You deserved it 10 248

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 565

You deserved it 3 744