Miscellaneous: Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 801

You deserved it 35 996

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Same thing different taste

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 548

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 563

By The horror... - 11/11/2015 16:52 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 369

You deserved it 3 171

By pootie - 11/12/2013 13:14 - United States - Miami

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 576

You deserved it 7 560

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 583

You deserved it 4 008

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 236

By embarassed - 21/04/2011 03:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 339

You deserved it 12 936

Classic mistake

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 15:01 - United States - Fargo

Today, I woke up from a dead sleep needing to fart. The second I tried to push it out, I realized it wasn't wasn't fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 447

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 4 531

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 961

You deserved it 5 269

SHAAAAAARK 1

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:10

Family Guy much?

Raina1122 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:10

WTF is wrong with that??!

Comments

butlerreid 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:34

hahahahahahahahahahah!!!!! that's hilarious. seriously, who the **** let's that get on?

anela_fml 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:35

Beano before and there'll be no gas

SpyderMonkee 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:39

A real FML would be: Today, I woke up from someone farting on me. I live alone and sleep alone.

WorkThatButt 2

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:40

Women fart?

deevosee 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:43

you suck.

lilyanx3 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:45

how is this an FML?

DzNutz619 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:48

short and sweet, thanks for the laugh

evilkid42 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 17:01

funny but how is it a fml

tj41567 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 17:01

hey retards 60% of ur gas comes out wen u sleep cuz u hold it in when ur awake go look it up it's not cuz of beans but this fml suks

fmlurlife 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 17:06

this is an amazing fml'

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The Top

Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 585

You deserved it 2 838

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 229

You deserved it 6 619

The Top

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 343

You deserved it 42 709

Today, my fiancé nervously sat me down for a "serious chat". The chat wound up with him asking if we could postpone our wedding, because his World of Warcraft guild had a raid scheduled for the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 920

You deserved it 10 764

Today, my 3-year-old daughter has been crying non-stop for an hour because she wants to take off her black shoes. She's not wearing any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 787

You deserved it 224

Today, I was having a deep conversation with a woman at a bus stop about philosophy. Little did I know, her boyfriend was rummaging through my purse while she kept my focus. I’m a PhD candidate in philosophy, and it was the best conversation I’d had it months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 223

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 176

You deserved it 12 090

Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 758

You deserved it 3 987