Miscellaneous: Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach...

By GrippedMyBalls - 15/07/2009 13:21 - Korea Republic of

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 352

You deserved it 9 029

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 15:48 - India - Mumbai

Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 114

You deserved it 1 831

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 20:45 - United States - Everett

Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 070

You deserved it 4 538

By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 35 358

By Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina - 01/06/2013 04:31 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 228

You deserved it 5 272

Read the room

By Anonymous - 11/10/2022 22:00

Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 1 454

By TKDConnor92 - 22/07/2011 10:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 654

You deserved it 6 714

Ouch

By xJade2012x - 24/11/2011 07:58 - United States

Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 954

You deserved it 20 614

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 4 593

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 10:28 - United States

Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. 5 seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the happy sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 040

You deserved it 31 033

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 573

You deserved it 5 224

ztpalmer93 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 20:11

what did you do to deserve that

effthis 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 20:12

hope your kids are ok

Comments

wroughtinfire 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 0:07

I'd love to see the sort of chokehold he had on you if he was able to crush your balls with his hands.

thereitgo 1

Friday 17 July 2009 19:34

My guest instructor was a thug... and a bully. One night he goes off crazier than usual and tries to assault a student. The regular instructor teaches him some manners to defend the students. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit.

drimpossible 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 0:10

triangle choke can use the legs

burb_fml 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 1:09

It would be hard to triangle someone and crush their balls at the same time unless if it's a reverse triangle choke.

drimpossible 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 1:25

Maybe we are using different terms. See about 1:56 into the below http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0D7PdajRuA his right hand is in a good position to crush the groin

burb_fml 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 3:15

Yeah, you could when executed like that.

GrapefruitZoe 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 0:36

Manners can't be taught by ball crushing. Ball crushing is only permissible under certain circumstances, such as rape, murder, abuse, and similar misdeeds. What a jackass.

MoobyTheCow 2

Thursday 16 July 2009 0:50

I'm pretty sure he just choked you without procession.

burb_fml 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 1:12

To everyone who thinks he must have deserved it, I met an asshole teaching ninjutsu once who was pretty much abusing one of his students. He was taking locks too far, jerking him around to hurt him more and so on. You do get dickheads like this who abuse their students to look cool or strong. With that said, I wouldn't imagine something like this happening as easily in a more sportsmanlike martial art like Judo or BJJ.