Intimacy: Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting....

By Anonymous - 16/08/2011 03:31 - United States

Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 733

You deserved it 5 182

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Same thing different taste

By kklaucen14 - 06/08/2012 01:15 - United States - Connersville

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 062

You deserved it 3 264

By brunetteshavemorefun - 22/12/2012 17:56 - United Kingdom - Burnley

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 974

You deserved it 15 149

By Anonymous - 07/03/2013 03:14 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 369

You deserved it 4 417

I'm looking through you

By lesler - 20/07/2021 06:01 - Canada

Today, my bartender noticed my new haircut before my live-in boyfriend did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 194

How're you doing?

By figcurzyez - 23/05/2016 15:57 - United Kingdom - Harlow

Today, the checkout guy at my local store asked me if I had my hair cut. I answered and started talking about my hair, and he gave me a really weird look. He was talking to his friend, who I hadn't noticed in the queue behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 016

You deserved it 2 332

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 01:33 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 026

You deserved it 3 581

Having multiple jobs may have its benefits

By Scoudrel - 26/02/2021 17:01

Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 6 312

By Brunette, small breasts - 24/07/2016 18:51 - Romania - Campina

Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 031

You deserved it 1 405

Face the facts

By ugly - 15/04/2011 06:43 - Australia

Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 028

You deserved it 3 366

By Anonymous - 19/06/2015 19:51 - United States - Seattle

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 162

You deserved it 2 447

gyoopiy 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 8:35

Does it?

jswizzle_ 6

Tuesday 16 August 2011 8:36

Now you have left us all wondering.

Comments

Bigmoneyshotz 0

Friday 19 August 2011 20:24

Well does it

DottieGothicGirl 3

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:58

You should gave said ill tell you if you tell me, then if he tells you you say eww, why the hell would you tell me that and walk away

Porshia 0

Monday 22 August 2011 1:54

Most cute guys are gay . Smh He sounds a little fruity to me. ask him does he do hair?

Porshia 0

Monday 22 August 2011 1:57

O okay

a6h311h0und 1

Tuesday 23 August 2011 8:46

straight up.

belo_fml 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:39

Yea, does it? Lol

On_The_Radio 1

Thursday 25 August 2011 9:40

She wouldn't be so offended of she was actually 'natural'.

tootnbok 0

Friday 26 August 2011 20:22

Yea I'm a red head. Imagine how often I get that. "curtains match the drapes?"... Aren't curtains and drapes the same thing?

Twirdle 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 3:24

I know, I use it (; Lol just kidding.

bjr1208 3

Wednesday 5 October 2011 6:47

Like a boss.

Keywords

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Today, I realized that I'm jealous of my newly-divorced roommate. She has so much freedom now because her daughter lives 50/50 with her ex. I'm trying so hard keeping my household, relationship, work, and kids happy, and I'm tired and overwhelmed all of the time, while she goes on vacation with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 350

Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Walmart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 612

You deserved it 55 892

The Top

Today, I had to wipe someone else's shit off the toilet seat for the third day in a row. We had a new staff member join our team three days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 287

You deserved it 474

Today, I got called a cunt at work by a customer. What could I have said that could have caused them to say that? "Have a great day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 670

You deserved it 3 949

Today, I was trying to be sexy and sent my new boyfriend a nude. Before we started dating, I had hooked up with three of his friends which he was super insecure about. Somehow I accidentally sent it to a group chat which included five different people besides us. All of those friends were in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 4 144

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 638

You deserved it 40 737

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 728

You deserved it 8 731

Today, after 4 years of being single, I decided to go back to the dating scene. I downloaded Tinder. My matches run for the hills as soon as I show them a full body pic of myself. One guy even told me to delete the app from my phone, because if “guys wanted to go whaling, they’d go out to sea.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 752

You deserved it 380