Animals: Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the... - FML

By FlowerPower - 20/07/2009 21:32 - United States

Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 841

You deserved it 18 287

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By lyinginbed - 04/06/2016 19:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 326

You deserved it 1 179

Snug as a bug…

By Anonymous - 02/10/2019 02:01

Today, my nose had been feeling weirdly uncomfortable all day. After I got home, I blew my nose really hard. I found that a bug had been resting inside my nose the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 163

The smells of summer

By Anonymous - 02/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was sitting in the garden with a book, enjoying the fragrant summer breeze. That fragrance changed somewhat once my kittens discovered that the big mole hill next to me made an excellent toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 148

Take a load off

By MustyAtticMouth - 13/01/2024 05:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, a long day of work and a bad day for my mental health, I tried to relax with my wife, a movie, and a soda. After returning from using the bathroom, I took a swig to discover a particularly odorous stink bug had snuck into the can, now my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 71

By bugnose - 16/05/2011 06:26

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 929

You deserved it 9 111

By sneaky1324 - 18/08/2012 07:49 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 936

You deserved it 2 202

By baugy - 11/04/2012 02:19 - United States - Orlando

Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 163

You deserved it 2 516

By Samantha Glennie - 13/07/2018 20:30

Today, due to the high pollen count and despite taking hay fever medicine, I passed out in the bathroom from not being able to breathe. My mother accused me of doing it on purpose to make her late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 699

You deserved it 232

Best day of my life

By Cherub - 03/05/2009 22:16 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 083

You deserved it 7 822

By Anonymous - 16/04/2015 02:41 - Australia

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 784

You deserved it 3 131

Next

Top comments

Ichigoner 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:53

Imagine the bugs. Today i was crawling peacefully on a flower until some idiot sucked me up his nose. FML

so_me_fml 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:39

...Maybe just gently inhale the scent instead of sucking it up to your brain?

Comments

Compwiz1993 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:49

You must have a powerful nose!

iKaite 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:04

'She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a mans tonsils!'

KryptoniteKiss 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:49

Oh, yuck.

bayybee 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:49

disgusting. ew.

lich_fml 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:49

oh, yuck D:

EllieMolloy 2

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:30

I second that D:

Ichigoner 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:53

Imagine the bugs. Today i was crawling peacefully on a flower until some idiot sucked me up his nose. FML

Ichigoner 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:55

*her

divineinstrument 2

Tuesday 21 July 2009 13:26

No one cares if a bug's life is ******. They're gross

mmmrabies 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 17:42

Lol, that was hilarious!

plexico 3

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:53

You coke *****! When you smell a flower, you don't inhale as hard as when you are snorting blow.

M13LO 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:57

YDI for having a nose

chocoLIFE_fml 2

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:17

haha make no sense...

CDub7888 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 1:01

And hark, here we have the genuine example of the fabled "asshole". A hermit of many sorts, one dare not come across the asshole because when one does, hostile urges begin to form.

HamsteronA 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 23:43

these "assholes" sound very scary. are they relatives of "trolls", "idiots", "grammer Nazis" and "twats"?

dRose22 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:12

YDI for not checking before smelling

Self_Induced 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:30

Sexy.

so_me_fml 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:39

...Maybe just gently inhale the scent instead of sucking it up to your brain?

gorguz14evar 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 2:15

rofl. So true !

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The Top

Today, it's been a week since my mother died. She had no life insurance and was over $20,000 in debt, plus her hospital/funeral bills. My father wants nothing to do with me as she was a one night stand and he never paid child support. I'm behind on rent and bills because I'm injured from work. Thanks for nothing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 140

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 652

The Top

Today, my 4-year-old daughter asked me when I was going to be skinny like her daycare lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 566

You deserved it 368

Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 248

You deserved it 88 990

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying to dispose of several empty alcohol bottles, leading to a discussion how dating me and putting up with my insanity has given him a drinking problem just so he can get through the day. Me catching him seemed to be the wake up call he needed, because he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 860

Today, I worked a 12-hour shift. Today my parents' cat also had diarrhoea. Rather than clean it up when said cat projectile shat all through my bed, they simply closed my door and left it for me. Since it's in my room, apparently it's my problem. They can't understand why I'm pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 354

You deserved it 320

Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 085

You deserved it 7 821

Today, I joined my boyfriend at a work conference out of state. One of the other conference-goers struck up a conversation and I obliged. Apparently, I was too nice. He followed me into the hotel lobby and openly watched me go back to my hotel room, making sure to count the room numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 799

You deserved it 1 478