Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML

By Fluffy / Wednesday 11 January 2012 12:51 / United States

Today, I had gum surgery. I can't laugh. I can't smile. I can't talk. I can't eat. All I can do is wait for the pain medication to kick in. FML

By In Pain - / Wednesday 11 January 2012 08:03 / United States

Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML

By GrossedOut - / Wednesday 11 January 2012 07:47 / United States

  Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

By bunnyluver4545 / Wednesday 11 January 2012 05:42 / United States
By RatFailure - / Wednesday 11 January 2012 05:23 / United States
By sarvenom - / Wednesday 11 January 2012 04:52 / Belgium

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh apparently. FML

By barface / Wednesday 11 January 2012 02:52 / United States

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

By lions214 - / Wednesday 11 January 2012 01:40 / United States

Today, I told a co-worker to "lighten up, and stop wearing black all the time, it makes you look depressed." I didn't know his father had died the week before. FML

By Jim - / Wednesday 11 January 2012 01:32 / Belgium
Loading data…