Today, my husband just told me that he no longer loves me but keeps me around to handle his finances. FML

by Lace / 08/23/2010 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML

by laughxlove / 08/23/2010 at 12:03am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I found out I sleepwalk. How you might ask? By awakening the moment just before I fell from the stairs. I was better off sleeping. FML

by Eloy Ymer / 08/22/2010 at 7:51pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Health

Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML

by Nick / 08/22/2010 at 7:33pm / Love

Today, my loving boyfriend told me that he wanted to go to the cinema with the girl he loves. The other girl he loves, but don't worry it's "not" a date. FML

by Squishy / 08/22/2010 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Love

Today, I popped a zit and I went to put my acne medicine on it. It's in a clear bottle with a blue cap, just like the nearby nailpolish remover. I grabbed the wrong one. FML

by inseriouspain / 08/22/2010 at 5:20pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. According to his Facebook, he had a new girlfriend 16 seconds later. FML

by mollyeyers / 08/22/2010 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love

Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML

by nothanks / 08/22/2010 at 9:42am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

by shawty / 08/22/2010 at 8:14am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over breakfast. In the afternoon I got to smile at him prettily for hours because he was the photographer in a session neither of us could get out of. FML

by lee / 08/22/2010 at 3:24am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids

cartez2gs's comment : ahahahhahaa. pwned by your child. shave your furry beaver. lol

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Today, at work, I stopped in my boss/boyfriend's office to find him getting intimate with a girl. He then tells me that he is cheating on me, that he is dumping me, and that I am fired. Oh, and he is keeping the cat. FML

by jemstuff / 08/22/2010 at 2:28am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML

by arace15336 / 08/22/2010 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Love