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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML

#3428912
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67918) - you deserved it (2644)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by daRN (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, was my first day working for a real estate company. just as I sat in my car my pants ripped hugely from my crotch all the way to the top of my pants and three inches wide. I was wearing a thong and we were on our way to show him an open house. FML

#3427303
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36899) - you deserved it (8453)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I decided I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML

#3423786
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35891) - you deserved it (12779)

On 07/02/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by nobleach - United States (Georgia)

Today, I called back a number I recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was the number of my boyfriend's fiancé. I've been with him 4 years, he's been with her for 6. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

#3423301
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55190) - you deserved it (4428)

On 07/02/2009 at 9:31am - love - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents. They were both on the bed, and I was lying on the floor next to their bed. Halfway through the movie, apparently forgetting that I was in the room, my parents started getting friendly. Three feet away from me. FML

#3421405
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61976) - you deserved it (4407)

On 07/02/2009 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Ghostie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

#3420908
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43359) - you deserved it (14951)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by Kristache (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

#3419869
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47495) - you deserved it (10730)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:22am - misc - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML

#3418538
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74917) - you deserved it (4216)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:18am - love - by rockstarohyeah (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML

#3416455
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11641) - you deserved it (43391)

On 07/02/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by Kronic (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at dinner with my boyfriend and his family. We were talking about relationships, and I commented on how online dating was the dumbest thing ever. His mom and step-dad went on to tell me how they had met through an online dating service. FML

#3415575
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12362) - you deserved it (44933)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:42am - love - by dork - United States (Florida)

Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML

#3415311
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34200) - you deserved it (20052)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by iluvcoconutrough (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I fart. FML

#3414580
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42271) - you deserved it (7959)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML

#3414555
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44722) - you deserved it (20833)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by S4L - Sent from mobile version



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