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Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

#8980623
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34823) - you deserved it (5396)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. While washing my hands, I heard someone taking a large dump in one of the stalls. When he was finished, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. Turns out he was the IT guy I called to fix my computer. He sat down on my chair and used my keyboard. FML

#8979705
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28389) - you deserved it (2296)

On 03/10/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by penpendesrapen - Philippines (Manila)

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10280) - you deserved it (65223)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

ydi_ruuc's comment : you expect to much...

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Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

#8973652
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5862) - you deserved it (58953)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

#8973214
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (3811)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Jamie - United States (Florida)

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

#8972575
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24257) - you deserved it (2557)

On 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by robotchickens (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone cut off half of my ponytail. FML

#8971498
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43006) - you deserved it (4321)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by Nancy - United States

Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML

#8971410
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26266) - you deserved it (8759)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:37pm - money - by MR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered my water bottle had leaked and spilled water all over my backpack, ruining my notebooks, soaking my schoolbooks, and destroying my midterm portfolio. FML

#8970857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27908) - you deserved it (5479)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

#8972431
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32390) - you deserved it (4137)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML

#8969513
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37573) - you deserved it (3555)

On 03/10/2010 at 11:08am - love - by sliceddice (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

#8968653
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9900) - you deserved it (26153)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by RyanM (man) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)



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