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Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

#8807543
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30223) - you deserved it (2269)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm - love - by WhiteLiar (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

#8805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22263) - you deserved it (2665)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8618) - you deserved it (26692)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was upset that my boyfriend hasn't called in a while. Turns out, my step-mother blocked his number so he can't call. She never told me and, instead, just let me think he hated me. FML

#8801800
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25699) - you deserved it (2108)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488
220 comments

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

#8800810
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24173) - you deserved it (3541)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:35pm - misc - by ROLLY - United States (Florida)

Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML

#8800523
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21452) - you deserved it (3757)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by pothole - United States (Maryland)

Today, I'm a 15 year old boy who is bald. Why am I bald? My little brother thought it would be funny to put glue in my hair gel. FML

#8799499
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31426) - you deserved it (4429)

On 03/03/2010 at 2:11pm - kids - by M95 (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML

#8797696
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (7260)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:46am - health - by brokenarm (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6019) - you deserved it (21114)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you deserved it (7072)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

Today, I was on a date with a guy I met online. After 30 minutes, he abruptly stands up and says he has to leave. He practically ran out of Starbucks to get away from me. FML

#8795495
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24016) - you deserved it (6555)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:21am - love - by Carrie - United States



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