Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML
by SonOfaSpy / 07/17/2011 at 9:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
ariannaimelda's comment : He knows too much. Dispose of him quickly.
by Cinnamon / 07/17/2011 at 8:04pm / Jamaica (Saint Andrew) / Intimacy
Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, my sister found out she contracted ringworm and scabies from her best friend's rescued kittens. The entire family now has to be treated to prevent it from spreading. There are 7 people in our house and none of us have health insurance. FML
by cderr / 07/17/2011 at 6:57pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/17/2011 at 4:44pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Username / 07/17/2011 at 3:59pm / United States / Health
by CaoiiBieber / 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm / Ireland / Health
JayBear14's comment : how does that work?
Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML
by Fairymyass / 07/17/2011 at 12:01pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
salyssac's comment : fuck you! fairies are real! get over yourself!
Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year old. FML
by twelfinity / 07/17/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 07/17/2011 at 11:21am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
by bigjohn106 / 07/17/2011 at 8:34am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2011 at 4:43am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…