Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML

#14040303
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29812) - you deserved it (6815)

On 11/30/2010 at 8:52pm - intimacy - by erpuchi (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

#14036176
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76640) - you deserved it (5446)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML

#14035963
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9230) - you deserved it (28816)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:49pm - work - by oopsididitagain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML

#14035490
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50139) - you deserved it (6819)

On 11/30/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by crushed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me one of the main reasons he started dating me was because I have the same name as his ex, whose name he has tattooed on his back. FML

#14034734
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37698) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:50am - love - by tattooed (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML

#14034563
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11875) - you deserved it (36205)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I cringed as I noticed my caveman colleague frantically digging into his nose and then continuing the use of his computer. I work in IT support and will be rebuilding his computer and reinstalling all his applications in 30 minutes time. FML

#14034046
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (2237)

On 11/30/2010 at 9:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

#14033454
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35816) - you deserved it (2445)

On 11/30/2010 at 6:30am - work - by Tony -

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

#14033332
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32950) - you deserved it (3539)

On 11/30/2010 at 3:48am - intimacy - by Jack -

Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML

#14032735
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14539) - you deserved it (21244)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I flew into Denver. Never being here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

#14032077
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8977) - you deserved it (27952)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

#14032053
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19349) - you deserved it (31665)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

#14029535
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (6662)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)



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