Your everyday life stories

Treybias - 26/04/2016 01:05 - Canada - Estevan

A few days ago I fell in P.E class, and thinking the injury was probably was probably just a sprain I went to the doctors to get it wrapped up. Turns out I broke both of my arms. FML

feces face - 26/04/2016 01:04 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, there was a thunderstorm. I love storms, but my kitten apparently doesn't considering that she shat a lovely kitty shit trail all around my apartment. After cleaning, I put myself to bed, but I felt something gooey on my face. My kitty must've jumped on my bed, and left a shitty surprise. FML

WJM505 - 26/04/2016 00:59 - Canada - Kanata

Today, in a sleep-deprived rush, I went to use the washroom and refill a bottle of water. I somehow managed to piss in the bottle and wake myself up, but not after I chugged the entire thing. FML

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Anonymous - 26/04/2016 00:57 - United States - Plano

Today, I made extra note cards to use on my exam even though we were allowed only one. Just as I placed my cards on the desk, the guy next to me scrastically asked if that was enough notecards. FML

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GottaLoveTheSkank - 26/04/2016 00:47 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, a guy friend asked me to hang out...on valentines day. As sweet as he his, I am not attracted to him (due to different personalities), so I politely declined. He later posted on Facebook that all the girls he ever liked were all "druggies or skanks. Thank f*ck none of them worked out". FML

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Anonymous - 26/04/2016 00:41 - United States - Oxnard

Today, Is week three since I found out I'm going to be a teen dad. My parents are calling her a slut and saying it can't be mine. I know it is. I want to do the right thing and be a dad but they won't let me. FML.

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Bifloman - 26/04/2016 00:38 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I received an invitation to my brother's wedding, to my ex-wife. FML

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JonSutherlin42 - 26/04/2016 00:35 - United States - Tiffin

Today, me and my friend studied for our accounting final for about 2 hours reviewing the sample exam questions that the professor gave us. When the teacher handed us the 5 question exam, none of the questions on the review were on the test. I might have gotten a 0/100 on the exam. FML

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your mom - 26/04/2016 00:32 - United States - Hamilton

Today, I realized that my best friend is my computer. I am not ashamed. FML

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JustBleh - 26/04/2016 00:30 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, I barely woke up and remembered that I had to throw out the trash in the garbage shoot on my way to the elevator, I had my bag (which had my laptop) in one hand and the garbage in the other, I entered my car to discover I threw away my bag. FML

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isi4ever - 26/04/2016 00:21 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend and my cat got run over. They were the best things to be in my life and now I'm alone. FML

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MrsHumanFrog - 26/04/2016 00:21 - United States - Lexington

Today, it's my husband's day off. Instead of spending time with his family, he keeps trying to banish us to the back room so he can play his video game. FML

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theapplesleader - 26/04/2016 00:13 - United States - Upper Marlboro

Today, I caught my best friend beating off to some My little pony she male porn. He looked looked into my eyes as he finished. FML

AcademicAdvisor - 26/04/2016 00:07 - United States - Jamaica Plain

Today, a student crapped his pants in my office. I work with university students. FML

hdjdjh - 26/04/2016 00:02 - United States - Tampa

Today,my little puppy decided he had to take a shit in my 4,000 dollar computer FML

Michelle O'Trauma - 26/04/2016 00:01 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I had a mock-assessment for roller derby and I had to make a jump over the block. I would've passed the jump, had I not landed and broke my leg. FML.

I'm not rich - 25/04/2016 23:48 - United States - Portland

Today, I received the written quote for my insurance, which was quoted over the phone to be around $230 for my family. My new bill is $459 monthly with mine alone being $290. So much for not living paycheck to paycheck anymore. FML

anonomousy - 25/04/2016 23:44 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I counted the days since my husband and I last had sex, we would have a 4 month old if I had gotten pregnant. fml.

davisjenny81 - 25/04/2016 23:42 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, the boy who I am in love with told me he secretly has always hated me. We've been best friends for 8 years. FML

anon - 25/04/2016 23:36 - Canada - Lower Sackville

Today, I decided to buy a car locally, forgetting two months ago my friend had signed me up for a local hook up site. As I met the man whom I was buying the car from, I realized he was that one night stand I had my friend tell I died.

BirthStone - 25/04/2016 23:31 - United States - Hanford

Today, it's my birthday. You want to know how I've been spending it? On the toilet for the past few hours trying to pass a kidney stone. FML.

anon - 25/04/2016 23:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today I realised that I flashed 200 people while on stage. It was supposed to be my moment of glory for doing a really good job. Instead I've embarrassed myself and can't face anybody ever again. FML

IDontWantToLiveOnThisPlanetAnymore - 25/04/2016 23:22 - United States - Indianapolis

Today My cousin read to me a list of traits she wrote 2 years ago (before we met) for her "ideal man". Traits that match her current "BF" to a T. Her "BF" is my best friend, roommate, and the man I've loved for half my life. I've also been awakened 3 times this week by them LOUDLY fucking. FML.

babymama727 - 25/04/2016 22:58 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered how much more important my husband thinks his job is than my health when I almost fainted in the kitchen because of all the stress I've been under, and he yelled at me for being "over-dramatic," said he wouldn't stay home because I was clearly faking it and walked out the door.

pengw1 - 25/04/2016 22:49 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, I found out that my new, awesome boyfriend, supports Donald Trump and would vote for him. I'm Mexican. FML.

hannah_cheers - 25/04/2016 22:49 - United States - Tempe

Today, I have Aspergers. My grandma told me I should just stop being so shy and quiet and I would make friends easily and people would like me. I wish it was that easy. FML

TEXangel25 - 25/04/2016 22:47 - United States

Today, my parents rejected my plans to stay home for the week while they visit my brother. I had an overnight bonfire planned and was looking forward to being home alone. Instead, I'm being shipped off to a friend's house where a loud bird begs for attention and homework is top priority. FML

lackluster - 25/04/2016 22:45 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I realized I get really horny on my period and prefer to give blowjobs, my husband is normally all for it any other day begging for one, except when I really want to give him one and he says "no, I'm not interested anymore" FML.

Anonymous - 25/04/2016 22:42 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, with my new piano teacher, we spent the first 5 minutes of him talking about his day, then the last 25 minutes him talking to my dad about a soap opera they both watch. My dad doesnt see why i think i need a new teacher, and is now mad at me for not knowing the song he shouldve shown me. FML

Aerobic_Exorcism - 25/04/2016 20:24 - United States - Apopka

Today, I sneaked up behind my best friend to jokingly scare him and saw nudes of my girlfriend on his phone. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML

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Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

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Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He claimed it wasn't cheating because he's not romantically attracted to her. FML

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Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

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Today, I was diagnosed with hyperosmia, a strong sense of smell and extreme repulsion to certain scents. Unfortunately, one of my biggest aversions is the smell of my own vagina. Even the smallest hint makes me dry heave. I wish I could have it removed. FML

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