Your everyday life stories

killerkisser97 - 23/04/2016 18:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I realized that as a teenager, having an opinion on what you want to wear is unacceptable. My mom and grandma wanted to take me to buy shoes, which I was excited about, until I realized they were really just shoes for them, that I would have to wear. FML.

Anon - 23/04/2016 18:18 - United States - Aurora

Today, my desire and dream for joining the Air Force was canceled for another year. My mother will not sign as a guardian for my enlistment, because "guns kill people". FML.

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 18:07 - United States - Warrensburg

I came to my grandma's birthday party in a short, tight skirt because the weather was very nice. The first thing my aunt told me was to watch myself around my uncle because he's molested her and all of her sisters. I want to be disowned. Fml

Vaati101 - 23/04/2016 18:06 - United States - Orlando

Today, I woke up in the hospital. Why? Because I passed out after being stabbed over an argument whether spiders or snakes were cooler with a friend... Ex-Friend. FML

anonymous - 23/04/2016 17:44 - United States - Columbus

Today, my best friend blocked me on all social media out of the blue. He still has things of mine, but I can't contact him in any way to get them back. FML

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 17:41 - United Kingdom - Maidenhead

Today, I came home from school thinking I had the house to myself. Got into the shower and started to 'play with myself' at which point my mother walked in, stared right into my eyes (while I had my hand inside of me) before running off crying, ignoring me for the rest of the day. FML

Proud_Texan722 - 23/04/2016 17:39 - United States - Commerce

Today, I finally decided to invite my crush over. So, we went outside and we were throwing the football. And I went to run to catch the football and I thought I would be cool and jump for it. I broke something in my left ankle and she had to help me back to the house. FML

fedup - 23/04/2016 17:39 - Australia

Today at 11pm my crazy neighbor was in our yard threatening us with a running chainsaw. The cops say since he didn't actually SAY he was going to hurt us that they can't arrest him. FML

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 17:30 - United States - Bothell

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, it was possibly the best sex in our 3 year relationship. So good in fact, that I shit a little on his bed. I will never live this down. FML

wiifantcso - 23/04/2016 17:20 - United States - Mundelein

Today, I met my new doctor for the first time. She is the same person that goes out of her way to call me a "lazy fatass" every morning at the fitness center. FML

anonymous - 23/04/2016 17:18 - United States - Decorah

Today, my boss found out that I bang his daughter when I work alone at the store. He didn't fire me, but he scheduled me to work with him every shift now. FML

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 16:40 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I found out that the girl I've been seeing for the past 3 years has been living and sleeping with her ex for the last 6 months. But she still wants us to try and work it out. FML

opps - 23/04/2016 16:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, I woke up with a hangover from pre-gaming too hard, throwing up at the important event, and then being forced to leave before anything even started because I was so drunk. FML

ParanoidBugSmasher - 23/04/2016 16:22 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to smash a spider in the junction between the wall and ceiling..... It fell a inch in front of me and I did a Ms. Trunchbull and made a cross between a shriek and whine as I backed up. I'm worried it landed on me and still haven't found it 20 minutes later. Well played Spidey. FML

rararachie - 23/04/2016 16:20 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, I was driving away from my in-laws when I felt a crunch. Worried I had hit something, I stopped. My in-laws heard the noise too and came to look, all was fine until I shouted "Thank God I didn't hit a dog!". As I drove away I remembered their dog had been run over there just weeks before. FML

Camaro Guy - 23/04/2016 16:20 - United States - Frankfort

Today, I went to visit the love of my life in NY (I live in NH) in my newly restored 1986 Chevy Camaro. I made it there without a hitch. When I locked the doors and shut them I had realized as the locks clicked shut that I left my keys in my car. I don't have AAA. FML

pxnicatthedisco - 23/04/2016 16:01 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, when I finally started to feel better about myself and how I look, my grandma starts screaming at me about how fat and ugly I am all because I ate some leftover ravioli from last night. FML

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 15:44 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my beloved dog passed away in the early hours of the morning. I thought that going to work would take my mind off the grief, but I just found out that I'm working at a dog-themed event today. FML

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 15:37 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had a baseball game. It was raining, and we had to do all this work on the field. 10 minutes into the game, they canceled it. FML

GAYSBIEN - 23/04/2016 15:33 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got sick, so my mother gave me a thermometer. After putting it in my mouth, she then proceeded to tell me it was a rectal thermometer.

wanderingvirus - 23/04/2016 15:18 - Canada - Orillia

Today, while going to the washroom, my girlfriends cat walked up to me put its front paws on the toilet seat and looked in then at me and proceeded to sniff my junk before leaving. I can no longer poop and am also mortified of being around the cat now. FML

Wow - 23/04/2016 15:16 - United States - Frederick

Today, while trying to hook up with the girl I extremely liked, she confessed she was lesbian. This would have been fine if we haven't been talking for almost a year now. FML

mvan234 - 23/04/2016 15:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom used my shower. Normally, it would be fine. Unfortunately, this was not the case as she had left behind strands of her pubic hair in my bar of soap. FML

Shallow_Dream - 23/04/2016 15:04 - United States - Erie

Today, I was laying on the floor, and I called my dog, who is a Great Dane, over so I could pet him. he got so excited he ran over to me, didn't stop, and stomped on my balls so hard I cried. FML

grossed out - 23/04/2016 15:03 - United States - Middletown

Today, my mom used my shower. Normally, that would be fine if she hadn't left behind some of her pubic hair on my bar of soap. FML

WhyHelloThere - 23/04/2016 14:53 - United States - Laconia

Today, I was at home watching porn when I got an extreme headache. I thought it would go away but it wouldn't. Hours later I was in the ER with my mom and I had to explain the whole thing to the doctors AND my mom. My mom replied by saying, "This is EXACTLY why I told you to get a life, Noah!" FML.

peceout - 23/04/2016 14:51 - Sweden - Kungsbacka

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. The reason? I've become "too" confident. Apparently, no longer hating your body is being "too" confident. FML

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 14:46 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, my best friend has been forbidden from seeing me because her father is convinced we are both cheating on our long-term boyfriends to have lesbian sex with each other. FML.

dead girlfriend - 23/04/2016 14:40 - United States - Aiken

Today, I got one of my friends to prank call my boyfriend and tell him that I had died, he responded with joy. Fml

. but not the Woman's - 23/04/2016 14:38 - United States - Glastonbury

Today, I asked my girlfriend out to prom, she told me she was going with someone else, but we are still dating. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years confessed he'd logged into my computer and read some of my texts. He's blaming it on weed making him paranoid and has apologized, but I feel betrayed and have no one to talk to about it but my shrink. I feel lonely and hurt. FML

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Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

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Today, I was at a family friend's house for a gathering. I grabbed my food and started heading towards the patio. Unfortunately, I didn't make it to the patio, as there was a glass door in my way that I didn't see. My sophomore year crush saw everything, along with her new boyfriend. FML

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Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

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Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of four months. FML

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Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

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