Love

Disrespectful to the max

By SorryUncleTommy - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML

agreeclassic 29 328

vote type 1 7 072

He's one of those people

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Sudbury

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

agreeclassic 31 806

vote type 1 3 261

Oh Romeo…

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML

agreeclassic 26 097

vote type 1 2 475

Creep

By fu2then - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He said, "Yeah well, you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

agreeclassic 36 348

vote type 1 4 251

Drive

By neverunderstood - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Italy - San Pietro In Casale

Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway between our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking, eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML

agreeclassic 9 706

vote type 1 1 561

Be careful tonight!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - France - Ville-d'avray

Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML

agreeclassic 6 929

vote type 1 2 148

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

agreeclassic 15 106

vote type 1 1 084

Late stage Lucy Letby

By mrdentist - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

agreeclassic 70 258

vote type 1 5 619

Yuletide log

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Dallas

Today, at a Christmas party, a cute girl was making a show of standing under some mistletoe. As I walked over, she quickly moved away in the opposite direction. FML

agreeclassic 33 052

vote type 1 4 348

Peaceful

By kirrby - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML

agreeclassic 36 281

vote type 1 4 635

Final exam

By Just an Exam - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on his final exam. I confronted him after class by jokingly asking, "If you cheated on a test, would you cheat on me?" Turns out that yes, yes he would, and he did. FML

agreeclassic 9 804

vote type 1 948

Oh, totally

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

agreeclassic 36 645

vote type 1 4 562

Up to date

By kubbyp - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Ottawa

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I'd met online. The picture was in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

agreeclassic 51 423

vote type 1 4 127

Unbelievable

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

agreeclassic 19 302

vote type 1 79 063

Left behind

By happysingleone - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, the last of my college friends is getting married and now I'm the last single one. Don't worry though, if one ever gets a divorce we can hang out again. FML

agreeclassic 9 160

vote type 1 1 205

Smells like strip spirit

By m…… - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one, he responded with, "That's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML

agreeclassic 42 129

vote type 1 4 312

Public freakout

By kingpin9219 - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

agreeclassic 25 264

vote type 1 52 819

Valid reason?

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that my husband only dated me because I look like what he thought the daughter he had with his first wife might look like when she's grown up. FML

agreeclassic 2 753

vote type 1 253

Oh well…

By DL06 - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML

agreeclassic 74 881

vote type 1 12 645

Song sung blue

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Houston

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

agreeclassic 26 978

vote type 1 3 727

The horror!

By duped - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

agreeclassic 16 493

vote type 1 49 771

What just happened?

By myrie - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date, he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand, and gave me his contact card. FML

agreeclassic 29 338

vote type 1 3 843

Disrespect to the max

By bunnyyy - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. You would think he could at least spell my name right while ending our relationship. FML

agreeclassic 36 868

vote type 1 3 896

Happy memories

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, on our first holiday together, my boyfriend decided to spend his time reminiscing about having come here once with his ex. He then decided to go type up an email to her about it. FML

agreeclassic 27 562

vote type 1 2 271

One of those people

By B-Ry - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML

agreeclassic 4 877

vote type 1 413

Dude…

By 50sStyle - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Hartland

Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML

agreeclassic 6 007

vote type 1 478

Disrespect

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML

agreeclassic 54 587

vote type 1 3 460

Unhappy Birthday

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Atlanta

Today, I should be spending my birthday with my boyfriend of 8 months. Instead he's visiting his ex, who's pregnant with a baby that "may or may not be" his. FML

agreeclassic 49 501

vote type 1 6 564

Weirdo

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Napier

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

agreeclassic 58 306

vote type 1 7 905

Heartbreak Hotel

By pixiegirl - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that the "secret admirer" I've been exchanging letters with for the last three months, and even started developing feelings for, is actually my ex best friend trying to pull a prank on me. FML

agreeclassic 39 305

vote type 1 6 894

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

agreeclassic 60 939

vote type 1 7 715

Today, my best friend told me he loved me, so I reminded him that I'm a lesbian. "That's just a phase, just wait till you suck my dick," was his reply. He was serious. FML

agreeclassic 3 190

vote type 1 348

Today, I tried to flirt with a guy at the gym by commenting on his headphones, saying, “Nice headphones, you must be into music.” He stared at me blankly and said, “I’m not wearing any headphones, these are just my ears.” I swear I heard him laugh as I backed away, defeated. FML

agreeclassic 104

vote type 1 488

Today, and for the last few weeks, I'd let the nagging feeling that my boyfriend was up to something go. It's also the day I found his messages to other girls on Xbox Live of all things. On a profile that we both share. FML

agreeclassic 985

vote type 1 146

Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML

agreeclassic 1 383

vote type 1 107

Dance like nobody's watching!

agreeclassic 256

vote type 1 109