Your everyday life stories

Anonymous - 24/04/2016 00:37 - United States - Jasper

Today, I found out that six hours of my work didn't save and has disappeared from my laptop, so now I get to stay up all night and rewrite it...FML

ugh - 24/04/2016 00:36 - Canada - Rodney

Today, I found out that I will be working with the love of my life's ex girlfriend. The same one he dated and lied to me about. FML

gamewizard - 24/04/2016 00:35 - United States

Today, I went to a store to buy a $200 projector I've been saving months for. When I opened the package and it wasn't in there. Turns out someone stole it and the thing is not refundable. FML.

Garrus's Calibrations - 24/04/2016 00:34 - United States - Boise

Today, I was at the store buying some groceries. As I was checking out, I grabbed my 12 pack of soda and accidentally threw it and it exploded everywhere. As I was profusely apologizing, this super hot girl from my class who worked there, had to help me clean it up. FML.

Anonymous - 24/04/2016 00:21 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while working as a CIT at a camp during my spring break, a five year old kid needed a counsellor to take him to the bathroom. What I didn't know was he didn't know how to wipe his own butt. When I tried to teach him how, he wiped it onto his back. I had to wipe it all the shit on him. FML

Anonymous - 24/04/2016 00:07 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while running late to my sister's wedding and rushing to get ready, I accidentally grabbed my travel size shaving cream can in place of my body spray, and quickly drew a blue foaming line across my rental tux. FML

o noes - 24/04/2016 00:00 - United States - Alto

Today, I decided on asking the girl I've liked for 4 years on a date. Later, before I even had a chance to do it, my friend had informed me that our other friend got a date. I was glad for him, until I found out who he had asked. FML

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 23:49 - United States - Poway

Today, I realized I get more turned on by reading the new book I got than by my boyfriend kissing my neck. FML.

cutegrl14 - 23/04/2016 23:44 - United States

Today, In the middle of the night I was up writing my midterm paper for school and as I'm typing there is a massive power outage in my county.....and my paper did not save.....I cried. FML.

mikaylamarieloe - 23/04/2016 23:42 - United States

Today, I went and saw my mom. She showed me her new pants and I said they made her look fat. Not because she was fat, but because of the fact that she couldn't even zip and button them. She asked me to leave and now she won't talk to me. My wedding is tomorrow. FML

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 23:40 - United States - Hamilton

Today, I got into my first car accident on my way to school. I saw some of my friends pull over and I thought they were coming to make sure I was okay. They weren't. Instead they took photos, laughed and then left. FML

whatiswrongwithmymom - 23/04/2016 23:32 - United States - Winnetka

Today, my best friend can say “I fucked your mom” and actually mean it. FML

vfoxx - 23/04/2016 23:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking home and saw a large, majestic hawk take to the sky. Apparently, my red hat, ponytail, and green jacket looked like a squirrel in a short tree. I got forty stitches from its talons on my scalp. FML

she's faking it. - 23/04/2016 23:12 - United States - Charleston

Today, it's my parents anniversary. They celebrated by having loud sex for three hours straight. FML

oops - 23/04/2016 22:41 - Aruba - Oranjestad

Today, I learned that I have been friend zoning girls that I liked accidentally for years. I guess anxiety is a bit of an issue for me. FML

cassiet - 23/04/2016 22:23 - United States - Tell City

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. His excuse was he hated the distance between us. The 30 minute distance. FML

windyouthere - 23/04/2016 22:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I finally changed my oil without anyone's help and was really proud of myself. Later I was driving and my car starting making a weird clanking noise so I pulled over and noticed that my oil filter fell off, and all my oil leaked out.. I had to wait hours for my mom to come and help me..FML

HSAF - 23/04/2016 21:26 - United States - Saint Louis

Today my sister had her Boyfriend over to her house for the first time. I decided to be a good sport and go in for a fist bump. He apparently didn't see me, and walked straight into my fist. So now my whole family wont talk to me because I 'punched' my sister's BF in the gut. FML

HelpMe - 23/04/2016 21:14

Today, after boarding a plane I noticed that the copilot was completely hammered when he stumbled to get out of his seat and out of the cockpit. We're flying over the ocean. FML

Torito_Dorito - 23/04/2016 21:02 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I was sitting on my couch as I overheard my sister and her boyfriend going at it. A few moments later they came out of her bedroom and to avoid an awkward conversation I had to pretend I was asleep on my couch, for hours, until they left. FML

joanikens - 23/04/2016 20:58 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after five years of meticulously saving money, I finally bought my dream car. Not 6 hours I was rear ended by a drunk driver. FML

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 20:55 - India - Kolkata

Today, while brushing my teeth in the shower, I attempted to throw the toothbrush back into the holder only for it to bounce off it and land in the toilet. FML

didntwantotoseethat - 23/04/2016 20:52 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I realised I've been away from home too long when I came back to find my sister sitting on the toilet with the door wide open and my mother standing in the doorway talking to her with no trousers on. Neither of them understood what my issue was. FML

blueyes909 - 23/04/2016 20:16 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I got a text from my ex boyfriend who said he was sorry and wanted to make it up to me for being such a jerk. When I asked how, he said, "Let's fuck." I don't think his penis counts as an apology. FML

Riceball__o3o - 23/04/2016 19:52 - United States - Lincoln

Today, my boyfriend told me he had feelings for a friend and even though he doesn't want to pursue a relationship out of respect for her boyfriend, he still wants to break up with me. FML.

SomeGuy - 23/04/2016 19:50 - United States - Marion

Today, I discovered I have feelings for a girl I've been extremely good friends with for a while now. I also discovered she wants my input on how to give her boyfriend head for his birthday. FML.

CamelPumpkin - 23/04/2016 19:47 - United States - Kalona

Today, I learned I will be retaking my math class because I have a B, B-, and an A-. The other kids, with Ds and C minuses are going on to calculus. FML

aloneandhorny - 23/04/2016 19:37 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I woke up after having a night full of amazing sex dreams. Unfortunately, they were all about my vibrator. I'm so alone, I can't even imagine real intimacy. FML

applebutter - 23/04/2016 19:08 - United States - Hackensack

Today, as an assignment, my students brought in autobiographies. Three of them brought "Mein Kampf." One of them brought it in German. FML.

bubblesalex69 - 23/04/2016 19:02 - United States - Bellingham

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate and my brother walks in. Later he says it looks like I had balls. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, every time I practice my synthesizer, without fail, my stepmom decides to make as much noise as humanly possible. Slamming doors, stomping around in her loudest heels, dropping weights, screaming, you name it. I can hear her through my noise cancelling headphones and I can’t focus. FML

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Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

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Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

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Today, I saw my old high school crush in a grocery store. I panicked, because the last time I saw her, I was spouting embarrassing teenage incel horseshit at her, so I dodged out of view to look at something. She'd seen me, came over, and found me awkwardly crouched in the vegetable section, staring at a cucumber. FML

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Today, my father went missing. Naturally worried, we searched his workplace, hospitals, and other locations. Turns out he got arrested for driving around town drunk out of his mind. Oh, and it's my birthday. Thanks for throwing me a great (search) party, dad. FML

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Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

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