Your everyday life stories

TheSue - 26/04/2016 05:11 - Canada - Milton

Today after finally letting the guy that I've been seeing go down on me, he comes up and looks me dead in the eye and says, 'hey so.. you just got your period.. in my mouth..' FML

bcl87 - 26/04/2016 05:06 - United States - York

Today, I learned that the man I spent 10 years with and have been married to for 7, has cheated on me with 20+ women. He led me to believe that I took his virginity, when in reality he lost it to someone else a month into our relationship. We have 2 kids together.

bcl87 - 26/04/2016 05:06 - United States - York

never leave your child - 26/04/2016 05:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my 3.5 year old son set fire to my mums house. when he spoke to me he said its ok mummy, it wasn't your house. i did it because i wanted to be with you at the drs. this was 3 days after he got into a fight at daycare as he wanted to be with me. FML

big fat liar - 26/04/2016 05:02 - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was okay with not getting engaged or married before I picked up my entire life and moved to another state, where I know absolutely no one. I only told him this because I'm tired of his excuses for him not being able too. I've never told a bigger lie. FML

Bathroom Queen - 26/04/2016 04:57 - United States - San Diego

Today, I figured out how the medicine my doctor prescribed for my high blood pressure helps with weight loss ...liquid shit. Here's to a night spent with the porcelain goddess. FML

happypenguins - 26/04/2016 04:57 - Canada

Today, after spending more time than it was worth trying to get my dog to come down stairs with me, he finally, happily went down the stairs and ran into my sisters room. FML

Mac_man314 - 26/04/2016 04:53 - United States

Today, I am so far in the friendzone I realized I was giving advice to the girl of my dreams on how to read my best friend and tell if he likes her or not. FML

Herpicus_McDerpi - 26/04/2016 04:42 - United States - Mobile

Today, I'm so forever alone that even my cat doesn't like me anymore. He's only stuck around to eat my turkey sandwiches and sleep on my computer. FML

no family time for you - 26/04/2016 04:37 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I told my mom about my recent tubal ligation. Instead of the verbal beatdown I expected over the fact that she'll never have grandkids, she sighed and said she wished she'd gotten one 33 years ago. I'm 32. FML

WhenLifeHits - 26/04/2016 04:32 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my girl broke up with me because I hug her too much. FML

anon - 26/04/2016 04:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my friend was killed in a motorcycle accident, my boyfriend broke his foot, and I flunked a project I've been working on for the past month. FML

jinx GaM1nG - 26/04/2016 04:25 - Canada - Ottawa

Today,I went biking ,being arrogant thinking i can ride it right after 4 years of not riding one. I slipped, fractured my knee and stayed in the hospital all day....FML

tigercat7 - 26/04/2016 04:22 - Canada - Halifax

Today I had loud, uncontrollable (and impossible to hide) hiccups for 18 hours straight. If that wasn't bad enough, when I got checked out, I discovered the pain I've been having with it is probably appendicitis... FML

No No No x1,000 - 26/04/2016 04:21 - United States - Toledo

Today, after freshly spraying my home with the new insecticide, I proudly went to put on my shoes to go for a walk, knowing I now wouldn't need to deal with creepy crawlies at home. Guess what was hidden in my shoe? FML

JefferyLillie - 26/04/2016 04:20 - United States - Fargo

Today, I got called lazy by my boss and written up because I was sitting down after clocking out after a 16 hour shift. Yet her son who only works 3 times a week and sits and talks his entire shift is the " hardest worker she has " I need a new job. FML!

Spongegirlcs - 26/04/2016 04:16 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, after spending $400 to repair a broken display on my laptop, my son accidentally spilled an entire glass of water on it trying to point something out on the screen. I'd only gotten it back a few hours ago. FML

Colby - 26/04/2016 04:07 - United States - Lutz

Today, I went to the park for the first time in about a year. I decided to take a nap on my towel neatly placed in the grass. I got a rude awakening. Let's just say, I found out what a ducks' bodily waste tastes like. FML

anonymous - 26/04/2016 04:04 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I brought my girlfriend of two years out clubbing with my teammates. I was informed she made out with my future roommate next year. FML

Saddened - 26/04/2016 03:40 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is a meth addict. Something she told me she never did. How did I find out? She told me when she had an urge but couldn't get any because her car got stolen. FML.

oiler - 26/04/2016 03:36 - United States - Miami

Today, My parents decided i should have a baby sitter; usually i will comply besides the fact that im older than her. FML

stinkyfinger - 26/04/2016 03:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was wiping my ass and my finger slipped through the toilet paper... guess that's what I get for buying one ply. FML

Cinis - 26/04/2016 03:28 - United States

Today, my fiancé says to me, "you know why you have beefy legs? Because you're a cow!" FML

mkymouse90 - 26/04/2016 03:21 - United States - Ozark

Today, I was going to the happiest place on earth! We stopped at a rest stop on the way as I went to the bathroom my keys fell in the toilet then automatically flushed. FML

Desiree_lianne - 26/04/2016 03:18 - United States

Today, I found out my long-term boyfriend doesn't shampoo his hair when he showers. He thinks conditioner is enough, he's 19. FML

Xeronix - 26/04/2016 03:07 - United States - Monroe

Today, my girlfriend's parents told me that they accept me and that I can marry their daughter, only to find out ten minutes later that they think I'm going to hurt her and they talk shit about me behind my back 24/7. FML

Mom - 26/04/2016 03:05 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, was my sons very first time going to the zoo, his first memory of this will be the llama spitting in his face. He's forever scared of the zoo. FML

kittens_lynn - 26/04/2016 03:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after being almost a week of getting my third tattoo (on my stomach) i showed my ex and he goes "that's fake I don't believe you" and slapped it so hard that i puked all over his new 150$ Jordan shoes. Fml

Zmanzem4 - 26/04/2016 02:59 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I was hungry for a snack so I got a Fiber One bar. I was still hungry so I ate another one. I then ate another Fiber One bar to fill me up. Needless to say I've been on the toilet for the past two hours. FML

Anonymous - 26/04/2016 02:51 - United States - Friendship

Today, after eating a fancy dinner I went to prom and my stomach started acting up. I am currently texting you from the toilet while I can hear the DJ and all my friends singing along.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I felt cold while driving, so I blasted the heat. The one thing I didn't expect was a load of tiny spiders spilling out of the vents and writhing all over my dash. FML

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Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

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Today, my coworker and I have been sharing the same girlfriend for over a year. She doesn’t know that we each know about the other, but now it’s all over. She blocked both of us. FML

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Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

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Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML

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Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

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