Your everyday life stories

Celestialfur - 24/04/2016 05:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I spent 10 hours finishing a paper that is due Monday...Once I finished I noticed the teacher emailed us and cancelled the paper. FML

annomyous6898 - 24/04/2016 04:50 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, I got in a car accident and my parents didn't even ask if I was ok they just wanted to make sure the car was towed by AAA so they could avoid the towing fee. FML.

markcantlarp - 24/04/2016 04:50 - United States - Lakeland

Today, I lived out a childhood dream and saw snow for the first time, unfortunately I also wreaked my new car on the side of mountain as well. FML

Gvnfree - 24/04/2016 04:30 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, Me and my family went to see a movie it was great aside from my father's girlfriend's 5year old daughter would not stop talking, making sounds, and trying to lay on me. After the movie I was pretty ready to go home, instead, in a 5-1 vote we stayed and watched Zootopia FML.

Sure? - 24/04/2016 04:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I worked up the courage to finally ask out this girl I really liked. She paused for a second, and uncertainly said "sure?" with a shrug. FML

fml - 24/04/2016 03:58 - United States - Cookeville

Today, I realized I started my period. only after, I sneezed and a random lady on the street asked if I sat on a red crayon. FML

AncientKnees - 24/04/2016 03:50 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I can barely move. Yesterday's schedule consisted of Tae Kwon Do, PE, ballroom dancing (essentially hopping around in high heels, mostly on a really bouncy dance called the Samba), and standing for 7 hours for work. I am hobbling around like an old lady and I am only 17. FML

deathrise007 - 24/04/2016 03:49 - United States

Today, at a baseball game, I caught a home run ball. The man behind me decided to swipe it from my hands. I returned the favor by punching him in the face. I ended up getting escorted out of the field, without the ball and a threat to press charges. FML

Anonymous - 24/04/2016 03:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tripped and while trying to break my fall accidentally punched my calculus professor in the face. FML

toddlersntierra - 24/04/2016 02:57 - United States - Southfield

Today, the boy who I've been dating exclusively and seeing nearly every day for 6 months told me the day of, that he has a son and that his baby's mother was coming indefinitely. He then proceeded to block me after telling me we can be "friends" but he has to be with her for his "son's sake." FML.

AHeart4Nature - 24/04/2016 02:53 - Australia - Canberra

Today, my mum was choking on a Mc Donald's fry. I was laughing hard until she coughed it up into my mouth. FML

Shi... - 24/04/2016 02:51 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, after a week of discussion, my girlfriend of 7 months decided she wanted both of us to lose our virginity. All is well, 2 hours before I get chronic diarrhea and have to cancel, she goes on holiday for 3 weeks in 4 days. FML.

Anonymous - 24/04/2016 02:50 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend tried bondage. He took me being tied up naked as a chance to tickle me until I peed myself and cried. FML

whyme - 24/04/2016 02:43 - United States - Tampa

Today, I found out that the guy I've been chatting with and falling for online and who, by the way, constantly made up excuses about why he couldn't skype, is actually my cousin. FML.

birthday blues - 24/04/2016 02:38 - United States - Carthage

Today, my parents give gifts to everyone for their birthday except me. I'm the only one who has a birthday so far this year and still have not received anything. FML

Drunken Mess - 24/04/2016 02:37

Today, I went out partying with my drunken mess of a friend. She wanted to dance and sprinted to the dance floor. I chased after her worried that she'd slip, fall and embarrass herself. She fell, I tripped on her foot and brought four grown men down on top of us. FML

anonymous - 24/04/2016 02:31 - United States - Shawnee

Today, I was fired for "slacking off". I was asking a coworker a question about my job. Its my first day. FML

Anonymous - 24/04/2016 02:17 - United States - Eagle River

Today my 2 hour hair appointment turned into 5 hours when the stylist mixed the color wrong and turned my hair hot pink. I asked for a deep red color. It took 3 hours for her to fix it. FML

BarelyMakingIt - 24/04/2016 02:17 - United States - Forney

Today, I realized that raising a child with autism is much like the 4th circle of hell. And I don't know what to tell myself. He's just getting stronger, more aggressive, and harder to deal with. And he'll never be able to hold a job or live on his own, and there's basically no one to help us. FML.

anonymous - 24/04/2016 02:15 - United States - Miami

Today, my family stayed at a hotel for a travel tournament. My 12 year old sister waited until she thought everyone was sleeping to start masturbating. I had to listen to the whole thing. FML

Anonymous - 24/04/2016 02:11 - United States - Hamburg

Today, I found out that not only did my now ex boyfriend lie to me about giving me his virginity, he also has another girlfriend who has clearly been pregnant with his child since before we were official. FML

haiHowAreYa - 24/04/2016 02:09 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I went to go get the new iPhone from a Verizon store near where I live. After I purchased it and everything, they told me it wouldn't be at my house until June. Well, here's to over a month of waiting. FML

Anonymous - 24/04/2016 02:08 - United States

Today, at my job at a one man kiosk convenient store I had to go use the restroom majorly. I had a long line and ended up shitting my pants and having to wait 2 hours to go change. FML

Anonymous - 24/04/2016 02:01 - United States - Oregon City

Today, I found out that the "skin condition" that I've had since puberty is actually a completely normal, healthy thing that absolutely everyone has. Apparently, every beauty blog saying the best way to get rid of them were not aware of this either. Ten years of self-hate for nothing. FML

isodontgetit - 24/04/2016 01:53 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, my physically disabled mum fell, hurting her leg. Normally I'd be able to help, but I'm currently sporting a broken arm. FML

HylianBadger - 24/04/2016 01:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today is the 1st anniversary of my wedding with my husband. It is also the anniversary in which my mother, a woman I heavily looked up to, tried to purposely sabatoge our marriage. I can't even be happy about my own anniversary because I link it to the most horrible memory that I have. Fml

holly_fly - 24/04/2016 01:28 - United States

Today, I nearly orgasmed scratching a rash. FML

Anonymous - 24/04/2016 01:09 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while masturbating, my vibrator died seconds before I climaxed. I had to walk across the street to pick up new batteries just to finish. FML

Swag Daddy - 24/04/2016 00:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, was a friend of a friends baby shower that i was asked to attend and one of the games was decorating a onesie for the girl and i thought it would be cute for it to say fresh out the oven and ready for lovin' but it turns out the parents are jewish and thought it was an intended cruel joke FML

Chris_calgary - 24/04/2016 00:39 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I hadn't contacted her in two days. Two days ago I dropped an engine on my phone. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mom screamed in my face that if she could go back in time, she’d rather have put up with the 3-minute pain of being fucked in the ass like her boyfriend wanted, because then she wouldn’t have had 13 years of pain raising me. FML

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Today, my drunk mother got into a fight with the lady at Krystal burger. Why? "Because the bitch said they aren't making special orders." FML

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Today, my little cousin told me about how he never wipes his ass, because if he doesn't, he doesn't need to wash his hands. FML

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Today, my roommate did his laundry. Unfortunately, he didn't check his pockets before he washed them. There's now sticky, melted gum all over the washer and I'm left to clean it up. FML

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Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

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Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

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