Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law finally admitted that I'm "not the girl for her son" and that she will do anything to break us up. FML
Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year-old guy. My boss is a 50 year-old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML
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