wait_for_it_

819

London, UK
42
Friday 30 September 1983

Wait_for_it_

and I hope your not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DARY! Daddy's home

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Wait_for_it_

lovers5201

MarilynLem...

[104537787...

redbluefla...

lec17

Dodopy

MarilynLem...

Wait_for_it_

konens_dick - 22/03/2009 10:38 - United States

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

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Evalynne - 06/04/2013 12:55 - United States - New Orleans

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

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excusemeprincess - 11/02/2013 17:08 - United States - Middle Island

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

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excusemeprincess

excusemeprincess 11

Tuesday 12 February 2013 23:40

I'm the person who posted this. I just forgot to log in. Anyway, I DID kick him in his deku nuts and walk out on him. Thanks for all your hilarious comments guys. :)

Geckosrock99 - 31/08/2012 02:45 - United States - Riverbank

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

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Geckosrock99

Geckosrock99 33

Friday 31 August 2012 19:15

OP here. First of all, I'm nineteen. The ninety-nine in my username is just a random number. Not my birth year and not the number of geckos I have (or rather, used to have.) The vibrator wasn't running low on batteries. I had just changed them and, unfortunately for me, it was dying for good. I've had my fear of clowns since I was seven, because of that "IT" movie, so hearing that noise in the dark was pretty scary.

Hello?

Anonymous - 25/08/2012 03:31 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML

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