xercister

Sleeping In

I'll never leave this bed!

Today, I wasn't able to reply to Facebook chat message immediately, so my friends planned a holiday and bought flights without me. FML

Today, after weeks of being addicted to Bejeweled Blitz, I couldn't stop thinking about it while having sex with my girlfriend. FML

Wildin'

Today, I had to tell some of my students to stop eating glue. I teach high school. FML

Safe as houses

Today, I got shot in the leg while taking a firearms safety course. FML

Today, as I squatted down to get a snack, my pajama pants ripped wide open. I guess the universe is try to tell me something. FML

Today, my father told me that it wasn't that I was written out of his will, it's that he never thought to include me in the first place. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I thought she wasn't being serious when she said her mum wanted me to pay to stay the night at her house for the first time. FML

Today, I walked in on my dog slurping my coffee. I'm not sure how long we have been sharing my morning cup of joe. FML

Today, it's 3 days before Christmas and my first day of holidays. Today is also the first day I have been sick all year. Hello tonsillitis, goodbye fun. FML