Los Angeles, USA
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML
Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML
Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML
Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML
Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, I dropped my hair straightener. The good news is I caught it. The bad news is I caught it by the iron itself. FML
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