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Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 20:00

Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 116

Cost of living crisis

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had an interview to be a teaching assistant. Part of the interview was to give a short reading exercise to 5 kids, which I did. I was marked down and ultimately didn’t get the job because I didn’t provide my own paper for the kids to write on. I'd used paper from the classroom. WHAT THE F…? FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 58

Are you my new mommy?

By Anonymous - 10/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of six years has a five year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 80

I'm too old for this stuff (or so I thought)

By Anonymous - 24/03/2026 00:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I'm 53 and I have four grown children and grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 170

With all due respect

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 00:00

Today, at work, an obese woman insisted she took a size 5 shoe, despite me measuring her at a size 11. Then when the 5 I politely fetched for her didn’t come close to fitting, she told the manager I was fatshaming her. Her feet were ham joints below cankles as thick as my thigh. She stank too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 74

Moving on fast

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 03:00

Today, my dad's new girlfriend, who he met in Vegas, flies in. My mother is still alive in a dementia care facility. I don't know how to feel about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 67

Weird anniversary mood but OK

By Anonymous - 14/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Northport

Today, it was me and my wife's anniversary. I spent it consoling her as she cried over a man she loved 20 years ago. They never even dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 93

Bite the bullet

By Anonymous - 05/01/2026 00:00

Today, I got terminated. I don’t know how to tell my family that I no longer have a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 75

Sussy

By Poorasfolk - 16/09/2025 15:00

Today, I went to a Louis Vuitton store to get my wife the handbag she's wanted for ages. As soon as I walked in, the staff gave me dirty, suspicious looks and kept hovering around me. When I went to pay for the $2270 handbag in cash, they immediately became nice and welcoming towards me. This is the society I live in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 87

Tough luck

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 12:00

Today, as if it wasn’t bad enough my dumbass daughter would seduce and hookup with my boyfriends throughout her teenage years, she’s now ruined her own marriage by sleeping with married men, and wants to move back in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 198

Keep me out of this

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 22:00

Today, I found out I can't go to Los Angeles to visit my grandparents for spring break like I'd planned because my asshole dad got some sort of court order preventing me from leaving the state. He and my mom are in a custody battle over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 78

Touchdown

By Anonymous - 26/03/2026 09:00

Today, I excitedly announced that I made captain of the football team. My stepdad told me to shut up and not rub it in. He's a failed high school football player himself, and here I was thinking that we were so close, he would be so proud of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 55

Sleepy head

By Anonymous - 25/01/2026 09:00

Today, my son hid under coats and bags in the back seat of my work van to scare me, but fell asleep under there. I didn’t realise this until my wife rang me hysterical that he was missing. I was 80 miles away already on a job when I found the sleepy little git back there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 72

Slow down

By any future girls must take an IQ test - 22/02/2026 20:00

Today, my brain-dead now-ex-fiancee "read on the internet" that cops can't give you a ticket at home, so when a cop tried to pull her for speeding on the way home from work, she sped up and rushed home. What would have been a $200 fine is now serious charges and jail time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 76

Bad dads

By Fthisjob111 - 22/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was waitressing. Two of the patrons, who were fathers, insisted on having their food taken off the bill because it’s Father’s Day and “ChatGPT said” they can get free food. We refused and said there’s no such thing. When I collected the check, I saw they wrote “fat bitch” on the tip line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 67

Freak out

By Dough - 20/08/2025 00:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I decided to bake chocolate wafers. I rolled the dark brown dough into a log, when my senile grandmother walked in. She saw it and started screaming that I was playing with shit, then threw a bottle at me. I had to throw the dough away because it was full of broken glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 86

April fooled

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 09:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for cheating on him with his best friend… in a dream he had last night. I was upset at first, but then I remembered what day it is, and laughed at his silly "prank". He was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 57

Convoluted

By TheDivorceCameFromNoWhere - 14/06/2026 03:00 - Germany

Today, I give my everything to my family and husband. Every penny I earn, hot meals daily, a clean house, and love. Despite all this, my husband asked me why I am still alive and told me to go and die. On my birthday. All because I mildly offended his third cousin against a ridiculous request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 78

Opt out

By Anonymous - 29/05/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, on our first wedding anniversary, my husband confessed that he had tried to leave me at the altar and only went through with it due to my dad, brothers, whiskey, and drowsy cold medicine, but now tat he’s given it the old college try and lasted a whole year, he wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 66

Side hustle

By Anonymous - 26/08/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 109

Run for the hills

By Ih8meself - 10/11/2025 03:00

Today, my fiance told me that if I don’t “get on Ozempic or some shit” by our honeymoon, he won’t consummate the marriage. Half an hour later he told me to make some breakfast because he was hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 147

The Wrong Decision

By Anonymous - 25/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the reason my ex-husband suddenly became so horrible and abusive was because he had a brain tumor that altered his personality. Now that he's had it removed, he's back to his old self. I feel like I'm living in a real-life Lifetime movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 91

Now you know

By codenamevulture - 12/06/2026 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, it's been a few weeks now since I started dating a boy. A whole fairy tale relationship. He would write me poems and all that garbage. Today, we sat by a bonfire, and he randomly mentioned his three other girlfriends, and how I should accept them due to his family traditionally having cheating husbands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 72

Tough break

By Anonymous - 27/06/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Woking

Today, my bouncy, friendly, loving, energetic dog was diagnosed with a spinal condition. Now, if she runs, jumps, or plays she’ll cripple herself. Bonus: she has no idea anything’s wrong, and just stares out a window wondering why her beloved human has suddenly banned her from doing every single thing she loves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 47

Secret life

By Anonymous - 20/02/2026 22:00

Today, I found out my ex has been using AI to fake a whole relationship with me. He’s been sending pics to his family abroad about our supposed lives together, including a wedding, vacations, and even children. I only found out after one of his cousins messaged me wanting to visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 66

Do my eyes deceive me?

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, I received the ticket for my upcoming flight. The booking reference code is “CR4SH”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 84

Fixer upper

By failure - 29/10/2025 15:00

Today, my successful, attractive daughter gave me the "Daddy I can fix him" speech about her boyfriend. He brings in no money, exclusively wears old ratty T-shirts and sweats, and always stinks of BO and cheap beer. I have failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 95

Not helping

By Missy - 23/09/2025 20:00

Today, after feeling down due to another negative pregnancy test after my hubby and I have been trying for over a year, my mom insisted I come to a BBQ to "cheer me up." I get there and what do I see? Blue and pink balloons. My sister was announcing her pregnancy. My mom got pissed at me when I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 201

Guarded

By Anonymous - 11/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to spend Easter with my grandparents, but my mom's new husband is a paranoid, overprotective asshole who wouldn't let me because he "doesn't know them." What's even worse is that my mom decided to agree with him just to keep the fucking peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 64

Mr Hyde

By Anonymous - 12/03/2026 22:00

Today, I filed for divorce after only two months because my husband would not allow my kids to attend their father's funeral. I know it's necessary and I have to get my kids away from this prick, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 139

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The Top

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 989

You deserved it 10 677

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 644

You deserved it 15 251

Today, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful pair of very expensive diamond earrings, along with a card that read, "To my beautiful brown eyed Princess." My ears aren't pierced, and my eyes are green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 214

You deserved it 4 109

Today, I found out that my divorced father is moving 3 houses down the street with his girlfriend, with whom he cheated on my mom. He will now be living 3 houses away from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 178

You deserved it 394

Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 146

Today, I lost the pantyliner I was wearing. It's a hot, sweaty day, and I think the adhesive stopped working. I had a piano lesson right before I noticed it was missing. I'm having visions of it resting on my hot male piano teacher's floor. Or it fell out on the street somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 74