The Top

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By bigmouth - 14/03/2009 08:43 - United States

Today, I met a really nice couple at a bar. We talked and the conversation eventually drifted towards online dating. I casually commented that hooking up through the internet was sad and pathetic. Turns out they met on Myspace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 899

You deserved it 68 070

Classic Dad moment

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my dad for the first time. She politely asked how he was doing, and he responded, “Still vertical. Still annoying people.” Then he winked at her and said, “You poor thing.” I wanted to melt into the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 143

Brainrot

By M…… - 23/05/2011 19:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I went back to the key cutter for the second time because apartment key I gave to my boyfriend didn't work. The man cut me another key and apologised profusely. When I got home and tried the key, it didn't work. I realised I'd asked him to copy the wrong key. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 075

You deserved it 43 450

All things must pass

By Female Quasimodo - 30/11/2023 00:00

Today, I realized that everytime I get close to a guy, they either straight up friendzone me, or they string me along the talking stage until they find someone else. The holidays are coming up. This will be yet another year spending it alone without that special someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 198

The tedium of everyday life

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 20:00 - United States - Banning

Today, after seven years of marriage to a guy almost four years younger then me, he looks and acts like an old fart. He would rather watch TV than have intimacy with me. He can't even last longer than two minutes when we have sex, which ends up always leaving me frustrated and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 155

Loitering

By Anonymous - 05/06/2025 00:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I forgot my keys when going out. Now I have to wait at the door for my family, standing in the cold for half an hour. My phone is dying, and neighbors keep giving me pitying looks. It's so awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 336

Jealousy

By Karine - 05/12/2023 00:00 - France - Bordeaux

Today, my dog has a better social life than I do. He has more playdates scheduled than I have actual human plans this month. I'm officially my dog's social secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 228

Lost

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I walked into the gym in my new workout outfit and headed straight for the weight machines. After 10 minutes, a staff member tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Sir, this is a physical therapy clinic.” The gym was next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 467

Let's offroad!

By Anonymous - 07/12/2023 15:00 - Australia

Today, my GPS led me to a "shortcut" that took me through a winding dirt road in the middle of nowhere. My car got stuck in the mud, and the tow truck driver told me I was the third person he's pulled out this week from the same "shortcut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 179

Itchy arse

By DaggerHole - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 365

You deserved it 16 683

By missgayle319 - 15/03/2012 07:53 - United States

Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 297

You deserved it 13 029

Bastard

By NeverLetMeDownAgain - 12/06/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it’s the 20th consecutive day of my ex blanking me on WhatsApp. I wouldn’t mind, but I hadn’t messaged him for over a year, and I’m just trying to collect some of my stuff he was holding for me in time for my Mum’s funeral, like my suit. He knows when the funeral is; it’s in 5 days time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 149

Sticky

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, it's been a few days since I had surgery, which means I can’t wash my hair myself for a couple of weeks. Today I paid to have it washed professionally… then proceeded to spill liquid glucose all over the ends of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 125

Hypocrite move

By ayeyieyie - 26/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of eight happy months suddenly broke up with me via text. He'd always insisted that texts were too impersonal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 597

You deserved it 142

Bigmouth strikes again

By Ishouldnthavesaidthat - 16/06/2025 03:00 - United States - Queens

Today, I was leaving work to go home and ran into some people setting up an event in one of our rooms. In my socially anxious way, I told them they couldn’t use our equipment by saying my boss is a massive bitch. Turns out he knows my boss and disagrees. I hope he doesn’t say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 606

Long ass

By Anonymous - 17/12/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the market and I was stuck in a long ass line for 10-15 minutes. To make things worse, in front of me was a guy bending down with his buttcrack all the way out. I couldn't eat anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 222

Naughty boy

By Anonymous - 19/06/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have to wear glasses for the first time in my life and my husband won’t stop pestering me because I now look like a librarian, which gets his nerd engine revving like mad. Don’t get me wrong, I’m liking the affection, and who doesn’t want sex more often, but not 2-3 times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 229

And you like him why exactly?

By Anonymous - 29/10/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, the guy I like happened to be munching on biscuits while he was talking to me. The biscuit crumbs were literally falling out of his mouth like a waterfall as he was speaking and munching. The crumbs were landing in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 285

Happy birthday!

By Happy Birthday to me - 18/12/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I'm officially no longer a teenager. I spent my birthday bedridden, because I've been extremely sick since the day before. This exact scenario happened last year too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 128

Freeze!

By Anonymous - 20/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I ran to catch the subway, slipped, and my pants ripped across the back. I got on the train trying to cover the hole, only to realize the train was packed with people staring straight at my underwear though my fingers. To make it worse, my phone started playing loud music and I froze as I considered which situation to fix first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 91

Stalkers gonna stalk

By Clive - 22/06/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally liked a photo from 2013 while stalking an ex’s Instagram. Not only did she see it, but I also followed their entire family’s pages in a panicked attempt to cover up. It didn’t work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 665

Intricate design

By Anonymous - 25/06/2025 03:00 - United States - Rockford

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 136

Cracked

By Maria - 29/12/2023 06:00 - United States - La Junta

Today, I faced my fear of needles and had my wisdom teeth extracted while awake. On the last tooth, I heard a loud crack. The root broke off in my jawbone and had to be drilled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 99

Blast from the past

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I twisted my left ankle while walking back home because there was a hole that I couldn't see, because grass covered it up like a pitfall trap. Did I mention 25 years earlier I twisted my right ankle (twice)? I just hurt my only fully functioning foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 99

Who can relate?

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 12:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, despite intensive therapy, despite adding a powerful antidepressant to my mood stabilizers and antipsychotics, I am still severely depressed and can see no light at the end of this tunnel. I'm losing hope that I’ll ever be happy again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 154

Haha, fat people, haha

By We are horrible people - 03/01/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I decided to put my friend through the ultimate test of maturity: watching an episode of My 600-lb Life. He didn't even go ten minutes before he started making jokes. I didn't go much longer before I started laughing at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 834

The hero we need

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I saw someone get out of a car without putting it in park. I sprinted over and jumped in, trying to stop the car before it went down an incline. I didn't make it. I now have a dozen broken bones, need surgery, and was just informed I'm being held responsible for the wreck, since I was in it last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 467

Anti-advertisement

By Anonymous - 06/07/2025 12:00 - Iran - Bushehr

Today, I was preparing to migrate the bookmarks from Edge to Brave, but during my migration process, four bookmark folders and some pages suddenly disappeared for some unknown reason. Those were saved a year ago, and they’re very important to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 136

Chonky boi

By Drowned - 08/01/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I had a nightmare where I was drowning in the ocean. Was it because I'm unable to swim in real life? Good guess, but no. It was actually because I forgot to close my bedroom door in real life, and my very fluffy cat entered and decided to lie down on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 187

Don't bite off more than you can chew

By What do I do? - 09/07/2025 15:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, and for sometime, my husband and I have been discussing owning a home - a house or an apartment or other options. I've always wanted to live in a house, but I'm 100% sure I can't keep up with the chores or keep it clean. An apartment I can manage to clean, but not a house. I told him my vote is for apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 371

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The Top

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 074

You deserved it 5 720

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 345

You deserved it 33 903

Today, I woke up and brushed my teeth as usual. My brother had decided it would be a good time to prank me and rubbed a ton of salt into my toothbrush. A while later, he stood outside the bathroom door repeatedly saying sorry. It was Epsom salt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 695

You deserved it 167

Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 131

Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 115

Today, my father sent me a video via Whatsapp. In it, he was cheating on my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 95