The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Anonymous · 19 April 2025, 20:00 ·New York, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Third wheel

Today, I spent a lot of effort making sure my roommate had a good birthday. We've hooked up in the past, and a mutual friend of ours is staying the night. Also someone I've made out with before. We were hanging out and the vibes were good, but when I initiated a cuddle puddle, they declined. Now they are hooking up without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155 You deserved it 401

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Anonymous · 12 May 2021, 08:01 ·Italy

I don't want to do this anymore…

Today, I was in charge of my team at work but I asked for a demotion, because I was so stressed that I started having nightmares. I feel like everyone freaked out after quarantine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762 You deserved it 140

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Only sad · 25 April 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Brave

Today, I finally gathered the courage to confess my feelings to my best friend. As I was about to tell him, he interrupted me and said, “Oh hey, by the way, I met a guy and we’re going on our first date tonight.” I awkwardly said, “Congrats,” and then I went home to eat an entire pint of ice cream by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421 You deserved it 165

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Anonymous · 4 November 2023, 20:00 ·United States

Classic rookie mistake

Today, I was taking a test and thought I was doing great until I realized I was writing all my answers on the question paper, not the answer sheet. By the time I noticed, there were only five minutes left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201 You deserved it 427

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AguilaAzul · 16 November 2023, 20:00

Loving this

Today, after the worst year possible (3 herniated discs, my brother-in-law, who was my boss, replaced me at work during my disability, and my girlfriend dumped me during that disability). I had to go to my sister and brother-in-law's marriage renewal because my mom guilted me into it. My ex's dad and brother were also there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517 You deserved it 114

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Chris · 24 May 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Rough evening for introverts

Today, at a dinner party, I got locked in the host’s toilet because the doorknob broke. I had to text the host to rescue me. She opened the door… with 5 other guests standing behind her. My social battery was wiped out by the whole ordeal, so I immediately wanted to go home and hide, but instead I got drunk and passed out on her couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182 You deserved it 468

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animositykilledthecatfs · 29 November 2023, 10:00 ·Cookeville, United States

Stimulating

Today, I drank two and a half Panera charged lemonades to feel more motivated and ended up feeling itchy and overstimulated due to the lethal caffeine-sugar combo and got nothing done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 You deserved it 676

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Trish · 2 June 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Statistics

Today, I went on a virtual date with someone I met on a hyper-personalized dating app. It turns out that the app matched me with my ex. Again. Because, apparently, “statistically, you two have so much in common, and also unresolved issues.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 107

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poopface82 · 7 June 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Bad week

Today, my week started off with cleaning up a literal dumpster fire. Since then, I’ve been falsely accused of stealing someone’s welcome mat, had my water shut off, and had to miss three days of work in order to correct my child care voucher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415 You deserved it 83

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Anonymous · 8 December 2023, 06:00 ·Neptune City, United States

Healing

Today, after dealing with a monstrously painful canker sore for the last two weeks, it finally healed up. I was so relieved that I went out to lunch… and immediately stabbed myself in the gums with a tortilla chip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 171

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Kilamo · 19 June 2025, 09:00 ·Paris, France

Where did you learn that one?

Today, I tried to impress a French student by saying “Bonjour!” but instead said “Bordel!” which means “Brothel.” She laughed, and so did every one of the french students around us. My cultural street cred is officially dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 You deserved it 505

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Anonymous · 21 June 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Stolen valor

Today, I got a text from my mom that said, “I’m so proud of you!” I immediately replied, “Thanks, Mom!” Then I realized it was meant for my sister, and my mom had accidentally texted me instead of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418 You deserved it 90

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Heyho bilbo · 25 June 2025, 22:00 ·Riverside, United States

Troublemakers

Today, I worked all year hand making a costume, just to get kicked out of the Renaissance Faire in an hour. The people next to me got so drunk, they started puking, and just the sight of it makes me puke too. Security wouldn’t listen when I tried to tell them I hadn’t had a single drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478 You deserved it 90

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Anonymous · 3 July 2025, 09:00 ·Tel Aviv, Israel

Thanks for coming to my Nerd Talk

Today, I proudly added a new test to our repository to improve code quality. The test ran as part of the pull request checks… and failed. Now I can’t merge my own pull requests because my own test says I suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 259

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RIP · 20 January 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Miss you

Today, I went on Roblox and logged onto Work At A Pizza Place for the first time in almost a year. I ended up spending a decent amount of time crying because I forgot my pet in the game is modeled after my cat, who died four months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482 You deserved it 192

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Anonymous · 24 January 2024, 12:00 ·Germany

Stay at home weather

Today, I slipped and fell on a sudden patch of ice, on a road that had been completely fine until then, so I decided to push my bike past the icy patch before getting back on. Little did I know, the ice continued for the entire rest of the road, which was another 3km. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460 You deserved it 143

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Anonymous · 8 August 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Social media etiquette

Today, I tried to secretly screenshot my gym crush’s Instagram story. I sent them a heart reaction instead. Then I panicked and tried to unsend it. I then accidentally did it again. They messaged me, “You good?” No. No, I am not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 530

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Anonymous · 6 October 2022, 03:30 ·Australia

Well worth the money

Today, I'm on a certain diet. I had to have a green protein banana smoothie for breakfast. I shook it up, took a mouthful, and immediately started gagging. Apparently, the seal for the bottle had fallen in, and it got stuck in my throat. Luckily it was slimy and came out relatively easily. I paid $12 for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964 You deserved it 269

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MediaBabe · 24 February 2024, 00:00 ·Wallsend, United Kingdom

Movie night

Today, my friend had invited me to his home for a movie night with another friend. I had to decline because I have prior plans. He then revealed that they only wanted me there so I could bring DVDs, but "don't worry, we'll find something on Netflix to watch instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 475 You deserved it 117

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Anonymous · 26 August 2025, 15:00 ·Australia

Soap opera

Today, the water cut out while I was showering, covered in soap and shampoo. I had to rinse with freezing cold drinking water from the fridge. As soon as I'd dried off, the water supply got restored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461 You deserved it 75

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Anonymous · 28 February 2024, 09:00 ·Dallas, United States

Father-son bonding

Today, I was dragged by my dad to the gun range for his pipe dream of a competitive shooting team. Apparently, plinking away on .22s while he and his ex-military buddies compare guns and trade sci-fi war stories until 7 PM is more important than the two research papers I'd set aside to write. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540 You deserved it 164

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Jakolator · 6 September 2025, 12:00 ·Amsterdam, Netherlands

Weekend vibes

Today, my wife had a shit fit because my son said I hadn't fed him. I'd asked him four times what he wanted for breakfast, and every time he said, "I'm not hungry right now." Great start to the fucking weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459 You deserved it 110

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Anonymous · 8 September 2025, 12:00 ·Canada

Tonight, on First Dates…

Today, I was on a first date and tried to crack a joke by saying, “Don’t worry, I’m not a serial killer.” My date replied, completely serious, “That’s exactly what a serial killer would say.” The rest of the date was eaten in awkward silence and vague small talk. I'm not going back into the dating pool ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 You deserved it 200

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Joanna B · 25 September 2025, 12:00

See you around, then

Today, at the end of my great grandmother's funeral, her daughter (my grandma) told me and my mother that she doesn’t have a reason to come back and visit anymore, and that everyone in her life is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410 You deserved it 68

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KellyPolizi · 28 September 2025, 00:00

Congrats!

Today, I joined the wrong Zoom link for a meeting. Instead of a marketing presentation, I landed in a virtual baby shower. People in the chat clapped when I showed up, so I just waved, panicked, and said, “It’s a girl!” before leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 You deserved it 359

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What's that beeping noise?? · 2 October 2025, 12:00

STOP!

Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 7 October 2025, 00:00

You snooze, you lose

Today, my daughter has spent the last few hours moaning that the boy she’s known since they were 4 years-old got a girlfriend instead of asking her out. She’s known him for almost 20 years. If she liked him all that time, she should have asked him out herself instead of moaning at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473 You deserved it 114

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Jim · 14 October 2025, 03:00

Doofus

Today, I went to my favorite café to order my usual iced latte. The barista smiled and said, “The usual, right?” I nodded confidently, except she wasn’t talking to me. She handed the drink to the guy behind me and said, “Thanks, babe.” He winked at her. I just paid for my drink in silence, praying for a sinkhole to open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344 You deserved it 116

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Anonymous · 21 October 2025, 03:00

Awks

Today, I told a woman at the gym that I “loved her confidence” because she was wearing the same bright leggings I’d been too nervous to wear. She smiled awkwardly and said, “Thanks, they were my sister’s. She passed away last year.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 409 You deserved it 117

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Anonymous · 6 November 2025, 12:00

Spiders the size of trucks

Today, I was about to leave for work when I sneezed over and over. I quickly checked the mirror to see if any mascara had smudged, only to see a big black spider crawling up my neck. No, this wasn’t a dream. Yes, this really did happen (I live in Australia). FML

I agree, your life sucks 414 You deserved it 91

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