The Top

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Have a holly, jolly Christmas

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tried to look for a copy of a CD that my mom wanted after Amazon lost it. For some reason, that specific CD can only be ordered online. None of the stores have it in stock and the one store I tried wouldn't allow me to use the "ship to store" option on their website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 75

Boner killer

By Anonymous - 01/06/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Meliskerke

Today, I woke up without back pain for the first time in a few weeks, so I thought it was a good day for a morning wank. When I was almost there, I felt a sharp pain shoot down my lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 177

Unsolicited advice

By Heather - 16/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was practicing a presentation while walking around my apartment. I didn’t realize my neighbor was standing outside my door, listening. When I opened it, he said, “Strong opening, but you lost confidence halfway.” I didn’t ask for notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 135

Life choices

By Anonymous - 18/12/2025 09:00

Today, I love eating cherry tomatoes. I was eating them last week, and left some on the counter. Yesterday, I ate two from the box again. It was rotten and sour. I didn't think or spit it out. Now I have severe stomach ache that I can't move. Why am I like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 457

Accomplished

By Stevey - 24/12/2025 15:00

Today, I finally cleaned my apartment and felt accomplished. I took the trash out, walked back in, and promptly locked myself out in slippers, holding nothing but a banana. I sat on the stairs waiting for help, questioning every life choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 197

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 29/12/2025 20:00

Today, after my cute girlfriend got out of the shower and was walking over to our bed. I asked, "Now that you're all clean, want to sit on my face?" To which she replied, "Ya sure, I've not gone poop yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 297

Resolutions come and go

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 12:00

Today, I tried a new workout class as part of my New Year's resolution to get fit. The instructor said, “Don’t worry, we’ll start easy.” Twenty minutes in, I was flat on the floor while everyone else continued effortlessly. When the instructor asked if I was OK, I gave a thumbs-up, but I haven’t been able to sit down since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 113

What's in store for me?

By Disabled - 02/02/2023 12:00

Today, my mom has fibromyalgia and the absolute worst case of arthritis that at least four different doctors have ever seen, I have dyspraxia, my dad has been diagnosed with arthritis, and my older brother is also showing signs of arthritis. Physical ailments run rampant in my family, in case you didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 108

Snow day

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 06/02/2023 00:00 - Canada - Kanata

Today, driving out of my neighbourhood, I encountered three snow plows heading towards me. I tried to turn around in a stranger's driveway but wasn't fast enough, and they left a wall 4-feet high of ice and snow, blocking me in. I rang the doorbell, borrowed their shovel and dug out their driveway. Its -32 with wind-chill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 149

Too much

By Lost Reggie - 05/07/2024 12:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my daughter had her gall bladder removed after just having liver surgery, my girlfriend tripped and fell, breaking several toes and possibly her ankle, and I got almost no sleep between my night shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 103

By donguigeek - 24/12/2015 04:32 - France

Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 453

You deserved it 1 972

Hip cat

By Teacher from FL - 25/01/2026 15:00

Today, as middle school teacher, I tried to use slang to “connect” with my students. I said a lesson was “low-key fire.” One kid asked me, very sincerely, if that meant I was having a medical emergency. Another told me to never say that again. The rest of the day, kids whispered “low-key fire” as I walked by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 508

Suspicious

By BilletsDoudous - 15/01/2015 06:51 - France

Today, I was working as a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting thirty something guy got on board with two huge bags. Worried, I kept an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 479

You deserved it 3 408

Don't believe the hype

By Long Ranged Missile... Detected! - 30/01/2026 15:00

Today, an officemate "invited" me to take a selfie with him with his "Brand new iPhone 17 Pro Max, fully paid in cash." And here I am, still lugging my now 7 year-old phone, which is stuck at Android 9, and I had to stick a power bank on the casing to keep the battery on life support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 119

By secretninja64 - 21/08/2014 03:47 - United States - Saint Francis

Today, I got fired after three days at my new job. They told me it was because of downsizing. They were still interviewing people and had a help wanted sign in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 807

You deserved it 4 887

Chilly

By Bloody tp - 03/02/2026 22:00

Today, I had to spend five days at work, as we were expecting a snow storm and my position must be staffed at all times. My boss stocked the fridges with food, which sounds nice, but it was all frozen dinners and junk food. I've had so much diarrhea that my asshole is chapped and bleeds when I wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 89

Prank gone wrong

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 22:00

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to make me hold an unlit cigarette before FaceTiming my mom so he could prank her by saying, "He's got a new habit." My mom did not find it funny, especially when I mentioned to her that I did not willingly participate. Now I'm stuck in this car, listening to them argue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 79

Give my regards to Broad Street

By LieutenantDimwit - 15/02/2026 12:00

Today, I was about to cross the fabled Abbey Road street crossing for a photo. Like an idiot, I didn’t pay attention to the road. As I began crossing, a lady on her e-bike frantically swerved out of the way and ate the pavement. In front of 30 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 606

Make up for it

By Emily - 17/02/2026 15:00

Today, after I used the try-on foundation feature online and it matched, I'd bought it but it was way too light. I then found out that it wasn’t the right foundation and because I had used it, I couldn’t get a refund. I went back to buy the right foundation but my shade was out of stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 164

Cotton Eye Joe

By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 09:27 - United States

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling, "Who's your daddy?" at his plate of barbecued meat, and my mom just sat there with that, "What the hell happened to my life?" look on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 376

You deserved it 4 573

By Pooperscooper - 20/07/2009 18:45 - France

Today, I learned when you're babysitting a 5 year-old, and you hear the toilet flush, then the words "Uh oh", it's already too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 699

You deserved it 6 898

By FattyMcFatterson - 24/06/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 819

You deserved it 82 499

By dearme - 02/06/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 69 621

Never enough

By Hyeg - 03/03/2026 03:00

Today, I came home and asked my wife if she wanted to get eaten out. She just glared at me. Last week, she said all I had to do to make her want sex was asking if she wanted to get eaten out. It's been months since we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 83

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 22:40 - United States

Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 003

You deserved it 11 611

Not woke

By Anonymous - 15/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my phone alarm blaring at full volume. I grabbed it to hit snooze, but in my half-asleep state, I accidentally threw it across the room. It hit the wall, bounced off, and landed in my fish tank. My fish is fine. My phone is not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 579

Workout Champ

By FML Videos - 20/11/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Sick gains, bruh.

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 86

My life story

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 02:00

Today, I invited a friend that I hadn't seen a few years to a baseball game because I knew they're big baseball fans. They ended up trauma dumping on me for two hours.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 191

When you think you have the perfect argument...

By Lewis - 09/12/2018 18:00 - France - Paris

Guess again!

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 108

Man vs. Machine

By Anonymous - 08/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 108

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The Top

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 687

You deserved it 2 635

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that, "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 213

You deserved it 5 383

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 179

You deserved it 40 929

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 279

You deserved it 2 581

Today, I found out that my mom uses my Facebook account more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 546

You deserved it 583

Today, I bought a new $10,000 car since my old one broke down. Today, I also found out the old one wasn’t starting because i never had it in park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 4 731