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By sciencenat - 14/01/2016 06:36 - France - V?lizy-villacoublay

Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 929

You deserved it 5 129

Classic

By Anonymous - 07/07/2024 16:00 - Colombia - Corozal

Today, I was at a volleyball game talking with my friends when a girl who is in my team arrived. She was greeting someone else but I thought that she was saying hi to me. However, I'd already waved back at her. All my friends and others noticed the situation and as a result they laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 154

Chilling

By Anonymous - 25/01/2026 03:00

Today, it was freezing in the office, so I brought in a small space heater and plugged it in under my desk. Moments later, the power went out on the entire floor of the office. I quickly unplugged the heater and stuck it in a drawer. Now I just have to somehow sneak it out of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 169

By Smeagogole - 02/07/2015 04:30 - France - Villeurbanne

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 193

You deserved it 3 579

Crash

By Anonymous - 01/02/2026 12:00

Today, I was proud of myself for buying the lowest calorie option at a Subway that I could walk to. By the time I managed to get there my blood sugar severely crashed (it didn't help that two people in front of me were ordering subs for their family and coworkers). I ended up buying six cookies to stave off the crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 273

Goals!

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 211

You deserved it 7 140

Smiling Fail

By FML Videos - 11/10/2018 18:30

Living that awkward life.

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 80

Surprise, wanker!

By pussnboots - 16/07/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, as I was feeling frisky, I started to jack off. I was about to come when my cat attacked my hand and nether regions under the blanket. I really got the pussy, didn’t I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 258

By gnafron - 31/12/2013 11:30 - France - Grenoble

Today, I went outside at 9am in my boxer shorts to get my mail in my garden. I'd put a shoe in the door to keep the door jammed open, but when I ran back, my dog had the shoe in his mouth and all the doors and windows were closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 966

You deserved it 14 991

Fishing For Love

By FML Videos - 14/10/2018 00:00

Dating is hard.

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 98

Freaks like me

By Porn addiction is real - 06/02/2026 12:00

Today, I finally decided I was sick of watching porn all the damn time and deleted the messaging apps I use for it. Now I've realized how attached I'd gotten to the freaks on there. I'm painfully sad and lonely now and I can't recover the accounts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 300

Jump

By Petitprof - 12/11/2010 18:23 - France

Today, someone in my class wrote, "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I'm always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 316

You deserved it 5 348

Discord mods

By Anonymous - 02/03/2023 00:00 - Brunei Darussalam - Muara

Today, I made a Discord account for the first time and got banned, even though I hadn't even logged in. Like, how is that possible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 124

Rekt thread

By Anonymous - 23/07/2024 06:00

Today, my son came home saying there had been a bad accident where two people died in a crash. This sounded terrible but he then said, "Yeah, I took pictures. Wanna see the bodies? They’re disgusting." Everyone in the house except me jumped up to look at those poor dead people. I raised savages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 155

Ouch

By FML Videos - 19/10/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Trust no one. Nothing.

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 170

Sights, sounds, smells

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 12:00

Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 185

How come you were there?

By Anonymous - 26/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my best friend is mad at me for "letting my paranoia ruin her relationship." I've been telling her for months now that I don't trust her boyfriend's female best friend, but she never listened to me. Guess who I caught in bed together a few hours ago while my best friend was at work? FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 107

Classic

By imfucking25 - 19/02/2026 12:00

Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 282

By MissMSE - 18/09/2009 08:41 - Canada

Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 104

You deserved it 4 563

I can't believe it's not better

By Anonymous - 31/07/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, to save money, my wife decided, among other things, to make her own butter. It required cream bought fresh from a nearby farm and a lot of hand churning. I worked it out: by the time all the cream became butter, it was 4 times more expensive than Asda butter, expires faster, and tastes worse FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 110

Delivered

By fedexed - 27/07/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 321

You deserved it 10 398

Occupational hasard

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 12:00

Today, while at work as a digital personal shopper at Walmart I was done picking, so I went to go put the cart away. I ended up hitting a coworker because she was crouched down cleaning something. I felt so bad and now I’m scared I’m going to get fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 78

New creepypasta just dropped

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 08:34 - United States

Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 542

You deserved it 4 388

Romantic moves

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Instead, I spilled hot coffee all over her and the bed. We ended up spending the morning doing laundry instead of cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 298

Road warrior

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 14:01

Today, I was driving 65 on a fairly deserted highway when some speeding inbred in a giant truck chose not to use the open passing lane but instead SWERVED INTO THE SHOULDER to go around me, and then cut me off. Any closer and I would've been a smear on the asphalt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 133

Leftovers

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 183

Goodbye horses

By Owned - 25/03/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 892

You deserved it 9 256

We've almost all been there

By Jillian - 11/08/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Sunderland

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw someone I thought I knew. I waved enthusiastically and shouted, "Hey!" The person stared blankly at me, so I quickly turned it into a wave at someone else behind them. There was no one behind them. I was just waving and yelling into the void like an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 360

In-house entertainment

By Anonymous - 13/08/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Southwark

Today, I smoked weed with my girlfriend and we ordered some Chinese food. I was too high to open the box and she watched me struggle for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 684

Classic combo

By Bad day - 25/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I had quite the long and busy day at work. Also today, the AC in my workplace decided to go on vacation. I was sweating and about to pass out by the end of it. Then, as I was walking home, I got pooped on by a bird. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 93

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The Top

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 133

You deserved it 3 379

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 170

You deserved it 5 986

Today, I learned that while anybody can call me a bitch, my husband got mad at his aunt for calling our dog a mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 778

You deserved it 3 747

Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 871

You deserved it 4 417

Today, I asked my boss if I could take a vacation day for my birthday on Monday. She called to tell me yes, and then told me I'm getting laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 89

Today, my husband is so emotionally disconnected from fatherhood, he has yet to call our son by his name and instead just refers to him as 'It' or 'That' and occasionally just 'Him'. Sometimes he’ll even ignore him crying and just leave the room because the noise annoys him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 721

You deserved it 285