The Top

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By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to start my exciting new job. I knew I needed a good night's sleep to prepare but because of the excitement I was worried, so I decided to try that tart cherry juice I kept seeing on TikTok to help me sleep. It worked. A little too well. I woke up 14 hours later, missed my first day, got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 600

Impressive

By brainrot 2026 - 25/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried to impress coworkers by saying I “don’t really watch TV” because I mostly read books. Unfortunately, someone immediately asked what I’d been reading lately, and the only honest answer was celebrity memoirs and conspiracy theory forum posts online at 2 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 540

Snap out of it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my significant other cares more about her drink and the TV than her kids and pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 118

Thanks, but no thanks

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend offered me a threesome with her best friend. Sounds like every guy’s dream, except I find her friend so absolutely fucking repulsive that I’d rather go piranha fishing with a steak wrapped around my dick then put it anywhere near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 128

Spoiled

By RIP - 31/10/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I finally got my boyfriend to watch one of my favorite TV shows. I was excitedly talking when he interrupted me and angrily said, "Can you stop with the fucking spoilers?" I then realized I'd spoiled half the show. He left to play video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 985

Friend request

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 16:57

Today, I saw a man begging for change downtown. I offered to buy him a meal, just to help him out with food. He said, "Sure, does Friday work?" I told him that I didn't mean it like that. Three hours later, he found me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 198

We live in a society!

By hungry n hypoglycemic - 06/01/2021 17:01

Today, after standing in line for most of my lunch break just to buy food, some asshole with a cart full of stuff cut in front of me. He claimed that he was there the whole time, and the whole line, plus the cashier backed him up. I missed lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 126

Sir Alan no Sugar

By Anonymous - 21/03/2022 10:00 - Australia - Thirroul

Today, I realised the project I’ve been tirelessly working on for 6 months is actually going to cost the company $380,000. I thought the negative symbol was a saving, not a loss. I'm a senior analyst for the company, or at least… I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 291

Not working out

By Anonymous - 09/11/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, I joined my crush for their workout class. I didn’t realize it was an advanced class. Ten minutes in, I was gasping for air, bright red, and drenched in sweat. The instructor had to stop and ask if I needed a paramedic. My crush offered me a cup of water along with a look of deep concern. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 450

We live in a society

By Anonymous - 04/03/2022 03:59 - United States - Steele

Today, my family and friends have absolutely refused to comprehend that I hate being touched. They think it's because of how unbearably ticklish I am, and they call me a "Drama Queen" for it. I suffer from haphephobia. We live in a society where people who have very real phobias are referred to as "overdramatic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 294

There's a time and a place

By Anonymous - 12/11/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we are having work done and our chimney breast has a hole where a brick is missing. Well, my husband thought it would be funny to rig up some realistic spider leg things that would poke out of the hole next to my face. I had to wash the sofa cushion because I pissed myself from fright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 116

Livin' the dream

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 11:01 - Australia

Today, and for the last few days, I’ve been playing farming life simulator games. It dawned on me that my fictional farmers will probably be more successful and social and rich and energetic than I ever will be in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 249

Next!

By Kal - 19/06/2023 16:00

Today, while I was explaining my troubles to my therapist, he asked me, "And don't you have someone you can tell all that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 121

K9 Unit

By Tim - 17/11/2024 12:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, some of my buddies were playing truth or dare. As I got to the group, one guy was dared to ding dong ditch. He did so, and the owner of the house let his big ol' dog out to chase us. It only ran after me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 578

Family matters

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 06:00

Today, in response to the guy whose son told him to fuck off for disturbing his one day off a week, my son spent literally his entire savings account for a deposit on a shitbox one bedroom house because he’s sick of his dad finding him things to do every ten minutes, and I don’t even blame him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 253

Fixation

By Waste of money - 01/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I took my kid to Busch Gardens. All he said was, "Can we use the claw machines?" He wouldn't ride rides, watch shows, eat, or participate in anything besides begging to play the damn claw machines. I paid for the full day and dragged him out screaming after three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 148

A new friend

By Gag me - 03/07/2026 20:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, I met one of my company's big clients. The second he stepped into my office, the room filled with a stink like a thousand dirty jockstraps piled inside a filthy gas station bathroom. After he left, I commented on it to my boss. I was told that I would be meeting him at least three times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 63

Staying Alive

By Girls_just_wanna_have_Tylenol - 01/04/2022 22:00

Today, it's been two days since I went out to a club with my sister. I love dancing and was really getting really into it. However, my neck muscles are still sore. From dancing for two hours. I'm 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 262

Surveillance

By Anonymous - 29/06/2023 10:00

Today, my mechanic asked me if I wanted to keep my car's aftermarket tracking system, which he found had died. That’s when I realised that my ex-husband must have installed that after our divorce, and it’s been in there for over 6 years. God only knows how long it tracked me before dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 109

Trusting

By Anonymous - 13/07/2026 00:00 - United States - Rapid City

Today, after reminding my mother that I couldn't watch my father 5 days a week, she threw another temper tantrum and insisted that her druggie friend, who trusts everyone and drives my dad nuts, could watch him. This is how they are gonna get robbed, so I keep losing time with the husband and kids because of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 70

By Anonymous - 20/05/2019 18:00

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend. She dumped me because she was moving to Wyoming. I guess Wyoming is code for my friend's apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 248

You deserved it 144

Et tu, Brute?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 16:00

Today, my boss, a treacherous weasel, threw me under the bus for a £300 mistake I made on my first day a year ago as an intern, trying to distract from his £12,000 fuck up from today. He got suspended, but my wages are temporarily reduced until the money from my mistake is paid back, all £300 of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 139

Out of control

By Anonymous - 14/07/2023 22:00

Today, my grandma, who was placed in a hospice a few months ago, started to decline in health and passed away, The day before she died I thought my girlfriend was so sweet because she took a leading role in her care, just to find out she didn’t care about her at all. It was just an act to steal her pain medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 103

No dice

By Anonymous - 24/07/2026 22:00 - United States - Calera

Today, I interviewed with a company 5 times over the course of 7 weeks. It was going really well and although not my dream job, it would provide a step up for my family. I got the offer letter at 1 PM! As I’m reading it, I realize it’s actually addressed to the other finalist. Sent to me, not for me. Offer rescinded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 54

Patience

By Anonymous - 18/12/2024 15:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my wife texted me, saying an expensive piece of furniture had been delivered. I specifically said, "Wait until I get home and we'll put it together." An hour later, she opened it and broke it beyond repair while trying to assemble it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 106

Lost cause

By Lilly - 26/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to my parents' house after escaping my abusive relationship. My mom scoffed and said, “This is what happens when you move out, barely graduated high school, with a bum.” When I told her I was 3 months pregnant, she said, “And a child out of wedlock? You’re a lost case!” and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 417

Tight

By Anonymous - 20/12/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that you truly can get cramp in any muscle of your body, including that one specific ring of muscle in the back. Yes, I got a full on cramp in my asshole and yes, it is even more painful than you can possibly imagine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 114

Sentimental value

By Anonymous - 28/07/2026 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out that my ex gifted a special handcrafted necklace I made for him to his new girlfriend. She wears it on all her socials. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 84

Earplugs

By Anonymous - 22/07/2023 03:00 - Canada - Halifax

Today, at around 12 a.m. I went to bed, happy that I get to sleep in because I had nowhere be in the morning. Sadly that came to an end when I woke up around 7 a.m. to my mom coming home and screaming because she saw a mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 95

A cat called Bruce

By Dave - 24/12/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, we spent hours decorating the Christmas tree, perfectly balancing the lights, ornaments, and tinsel. Ten minutes later, the cat thought it was a right time to reenact Die Hard and climbed up the tree, knocking it over. Now my ornaments are shattered, and my cat is smugly sitting in the wreckage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 226

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The Top

Today, I went to the hairdresser and changed my hairstyle drastically. It wasn't until she was nearly done that she said, "I just KNEW this style wasn't going to suit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 289

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 124

You deserved it 20 452

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 938

You deserved it 3 903

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 862

You deserved it 3 966

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 196

You deserved it 2 836

Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 308