Today, I have learned a lot of "big" words from reading so much, but can actually only pronounce about half of them correctly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I have Dysarthria, a condition where you can't pronounce certain words. I can't even pronounce the condition. FML
Today, while reading out loud in front of my entire class and teacher, I learned that I can't pronounce the word 'success'. It came out as 'sex', and when I tried to correct myself more slowly (multiple times), it came out 'sexsex'. FML
Today, I was reading a picture storybook to a kindergarten kid. She could pronounce more words than me, and corrected me. I'm about triple her age. FML
Today, I learned that I've been saying a word wrong my whole life and all my friends have been too polite to correct me, when I found out that "Segue" and "Segway" are pronounced the same. FML
Today, I went to a fancy restaurant and couldn't pronounce any of the menu items. FML
Today, I found out that I've been pronouncing "quinoa" wrong for years. FML
Today, I have laryngitis and can’t speak at all. I went to make myself some breakfast and my mom kept asking me questions, to which I replied with nods and head shakes. She said, in a condescending voice, that I need to use my “big girl words” and will keep using her “baby voice” until I do so. FML
Today, I've gotten so used to people mispronouncing my last name, even after I correct them a gazillion times, I've lost the motivation to correct anyone on it anymore. At this point I'd probably faint from shock if someone who isn't related to me successfully pronounced it correctly. FML
Today, while not feeling well at work, I had to finish up some papers. I was so out of it, I couldn't remember how to spell my name. I had to improvise by pronouncing each syllable of my name out loud. My boss now thinks I'm a dumbass. FML
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
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Top comments
ActionFearo 39
I wish there was some device to pronounce words for us, maybe an online source of some mysterious origin, Idk. Guess we're out of luck for now.
christiee 10
I think anyone who teaches themselves new words by reading shouldn't be embarrassed by other people's reactions because they can't pronounce them correctly. At least those people are going out there and teaching themselves something new, and heightening your knowledge isn't something anyone should be making fun of.
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Comments (92)
NiceGuysDoWin 21
Without bragging, my vocabulary is larger than about 80% of the US population, but my wife's vocab puts mine to shame. She is a linguist, a copy editor, and a walking dictionary. She also has this same problem. She's constantly using words that she knows their proper definition, and uses them in their proper context, but is completely unfamiliar with their proper pronunciation. About once a week she will use a random word and I'll have to guess if it's a word I don't know, or if it's something I do know and she's just mispronouncing it.
martin8337 36
Just talk plain English, that way most everyone can understand what you are saying.
laden_swallow09 35
Unfortunately, most people simply aren't worth any conversation other than superficial small talk. People like OP want to broaden their horizons instead of staying complacent with the bare minimum.
Brandi_Faith 34
These words are plain English, they're just bigger than some other words.
Nyx7 24
So in other words dumb yourself down for the masses, brilliant :D
xrudeboyrock 29
that's great for you. I understand it must be frustrating and you feel silly if you mispronounce a word you've only read and not heard, but hey, you're self-taught, how many people can say that?
jennakat01 7
I don't see this as a FML. When I was in 7th grade, I thought "facade" was pronounced with a short "a" and a "k-like" c. And the ending was like aid. When I actually used the word, not only did all of my classmates not know what EITHER version meant, but my teacher had no idea what word I was trying to say. Little me didn't give a shit, even if some would have been embarrassed. Just be happy you're enhancing your vocabulary. Your interpretation shouldn't be too off so they should be able to tell, or just ask ya. Go reading!
jackycat 17
All I thought of was the How I Met Your Mother episode where Ted pronounces chameleon wrong in front of his all his students. I'm sorry OP for my giggles.
ArkNon 6
I've had the same problem! But now I've learned to look them up online for pronunciation.
stewpididiot 11
Hmm... When I was a kid we had these things called 'DICTIONARY'S.. If you looked up a word, you could find out how to spell it correctly, pronounce it properly, & what it actually meant.
Mojo0608 26
Dictionary: [dik-shuh-ner-ee] noun, plural: dictionaries
Sagan928 7
Look at the bright side, you already know how to pronounce half of them! Only half to go!
Merridew 8
Imagine how hard it is for foreigners (I coudn't even spell the word "foreigners" correctly :( )
sydstoomuch 19
This is probably the lamest fml I've read in a while. You should be fine as long as you can communicate coherently.