"Your degree will open so many doors" By Lewis - 18/12/2018 00:30 The way I live determined, that was a lie! agreeclassic 223 vote type 1 114 Share Tweet Share
Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML agreeclassic 13 867 vote type 1 28 396
Today, my girlfriend, who I've been living with for the last month, told me she's not attracted to me and wants to see other people. She told me this after months of dating and telling me she was thinking about having a child with me. FML agreeclassic 1 042 vote type 1 98
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML agreeclassic 29 826 vote type 1 3 664
Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML agreeclassic 30 656 vote type 1 3 680
Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML agreeclassic 41 641 vote type 1 3 548
Today, after waiting in front of a washroom stall for 20 minutes to take a dump, I finally realized that the "person" in the stall was just a pair of shoes. FML agreeclassic 22 354 vote type 1 3 490