Wokescolds gonna wokescold

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

Today, I apologised to someone for my misuse of the word 'coloured' in a discussion about ethnic minority issues. They then got even more angry and said that to even quote the word in the context of an apology is evidence of my ignorance and inherent racism. FML

Insensitive

Today, I got written up by HR after my new coworker told them I had an ignorant, offensive caricature of Native American people decorating my desk. It was a framed photograph of an actual Native American tribe that belonged to my history buff grandfather. FML

Wicked

Today, I was accused of witchcraft. This is not the first time this has happened. FML

Today, I was accused of being a "racist whore" at work. I'd only asked a man if he needed help finding anything, as that is part of my job. FML

Deflection

Today, at work, my coworker's belongings went missing. Infuriated, she accused me of stealing, because I'm black and "stereotypes don't just make themselves." FML

Can it, Susan

Today, a woman bitched me out at the grocery store, saying that since I'm not Indian, I shouldn't be wearing a bindi - a red dot on my forehead - because it's "cultural appropriation". I was too embarrassed to tell her it was actually a pimple I'd been trying to pop on my forehead. FML

Digital blackface

Today, I accidentally selected an emoji with a dark skin tone to use in a Teams chat with my colleagues and supervisor. I'm white. One of them complained and now HR wants to talk. FML

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

Accidental racist

Today, I was accused of racism for mentioning that an employee can't read. That would've been racist… if she could actually read. FML