Today, my 5-year-old daughter sobbed inconsolably on my return home from a several-month long deployment to the Middle East. I was touched by her reaction until she blurted out that she wasn't crying because she missed me, but because my shaved head looked scary ugly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML
Today, it's been a while since I tried the "shave-your-beard to see if your baby recognises you afterwards" trick. I wasn’t expecting her to start crying, real heartbreaking tears. The beard's now grown back but she still cries and screams whenever she sees me, and we don’t know what to do. I think traumatised my daughter. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML
Today, a 4 year-old saw me and started crying and screaming like heck. I mean, I knew that I didn't look good, but this is too much. FML
Today, I got back from an 8 month deployment but rather than being pleased to see me my wife wanted to continue the same argument we were having the day I left. I miss being shot at. FML
Today, I arrived home, having just had my long hair cut and my beard shaved. My idiot daughter’s reaction when she saw me? “Who are you and how did you get in the house?” FML
Today, my fiancé left for a 6-month deployment overseas. I waved him away, came back inside alone, and cried. I know this is what I signed up for, but the cat could've shown more sympathy than staring at me and walking away. FML
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML
Today, I came home to be greeted by my mother-in-law by cussing me out for missing out on events and milestones in both my wife and two year-old daughter's life. She would never listen to "lame reasons", despite the fact that I just came back from a 13 month deployment. So, being a soldier makes me a bad father? FML
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Top comments
klorehore 24
Your daughter remembers how you looked when you left and she probably wasn't expecting you to come home with a new unfamiliar look. Give her a couple days and she will get used to your new look ;) welcome home!
moo77_fml 20
Ahhhh.. Bless her... She will get used to it.. And thank you for your service
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Comments (61)
Tdelia55555 3
Bullshit. If you went on a deployment then you are already in the military and had to cut your hair to spec constantly. It wouldn't be a new and startling thing. Lying isn't cool bro.
imapartypooper 15
Maybe his daughter is so young that she doesn't remember when he had to shave his hair before. Don't just make assumptions.
Tdelia55555 3
Its not polite to lie. If you're military you would have regulation hair cuts all the time. Not just cut it off at the end of a rotation.
Dick_diamond 22
Maybe he went from a crew cut to a bald shave. It's been known to happen, you know..
coatl45 11
The barbers at deployed locations aren't always reliable. This was probably the only way to get a haircut without it looking god awful.
soldier084 11
670-1 has changed quite a bit. though if you are a certain percent balding due to hair loss you are allowed to completely shave your head.
UH60 26
lol when you ask for a fade from the barbers on post down range, you leave with a clean shave
UH60 26
#24, as of the most recent update, you can shave your head before incoming baldness now, don't know about before.
Denise1988 13
My husband keeps his hair trimmed with a 4 on the top and 2 on the sides. When he's deployed the barbers cut it down to a 1 all the way around. Huge difference in appearance.
dcromantipus 4
it also depends on his job. SOCOM doesn't have to keep short hair and clean shaven faces. not yo mention you don't have to shave your head just because you are in, my dad never had a shaved head and he retired after 22 years.
LoverWordsFood 27
Like others have said, your daughter might just be overwhelmed that your finally home and this is just the one thing she picked to say since she might be either too young to know why or just because she doesn't want you to be upset with seeing her sob since your home. I've seen it happen before but children that aren't use to either mommy or daddy being gone for very long come up with strange ideas. Thank you for your service sir. I know the feeling on how difficult it can be to be away from your family for so long. Just enjoy the time with them while you have it.
Chilled_Rambo 11
I was thinking "aww" until I kept reading and laughed. She should get used to it soon OP, and thank you for your service!
devi_916 39
Small children are known for being honest to a fault. I'm sure she'll warm straight back up to you. You're her daddy, after all, and I know she missed you. We thank you for service and are glad you made it back home to your family. Spend a lot of time with that adorable little girl of yours. :)
soldier084 11
welcome home battle. your daughter will warm up to the haircut after a few days.
GrumpyGrinch 23
At least she thinks that you were NOT ugly with previous haircut, and hair grows.
foxmatrix15 8
Dammit man I appreciate you serving our country but if ur daughter wants ur beard off TAKE IT OFF. Do it for her sake :) I'm sure it's not a big deal.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
There was no mention of a beard. His head was shaved down shorter than she was used to seeing and she got disconcerted by it. That is all. Reading comprehension is important. :)
AmIReallyRenee 20
Wow, this kid has all the wrong thoughts running through their head. Thumbs up to you OP for your work to your country and hopefully your daughter will understand the honor you've brought to your family and nation
donuts678 25
Kids are assholes
aceking602 11
youre an asshole