Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said, "I'm going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML
Today, the guy I've been dating said we couldn't see each other anymore because he needed to focus on his career. He's unemployed. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and said he'd been fired from his minimum wage cashier job. He added that since I make enough to cover the bills, he wants to take a break from "working and shit." I stared at him, mouth agape, and he thought I was offering him a blowjob. FML
Today, I told my unemployed boyfriend to pick a town anywhere in the country that he thinks he can find work in. I offered to find myself a job there, find a flat, and pay for rent, bills, and food while he looks. He said I was selfish for wanting him to hurry up. It's been three years. FML
Today, my boyfriend has been unemployed for over six months. He has applied EVERYWHERE with no luck, but he also has the opportunity to start his own business. Instead, he just spends his time sitting in front of the TV all day long. I'm starting to believe he is not a driven man, and I hate that. FML
Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I quit my job and sent a mass mail on Facebook that I was moving to a different state with my long time boyfriend. He called me later that night to tell me we aren't moving after all. Now we are both jobless with loads of bills to pay by the end of the month. FML
Today, my unemployed boyfriend and I went to the casino. I gave him twenty dollars to play on. He won $1000 on a dollar machine then jackpotted the ten dollar machine for $20,000. When we got home he broke up with me. I have been working two jobs to get our own place. Move in Date?? 2 weeks. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML
Today, my landlord told me he is raising my rent next month. I thought he was kidding until he asked if I still wanted to live here. My landlord is also my live-in boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
jkozzy 8
If he hates having sex with you that much, he doesn't deserve you.
DeadxManxWalking 27
It's not like he's forced to have sex with you.
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Comments (148)
Enslaved 38
Looks like you're not the only one that knows how to use sex as a weapon. Good for him!
TheDrudgeChild 4
Hah, I love the girl mentality that females can turn men into slaves with sex. Not always, ladies.
ChristineAnn58 8
Of course not because men are ****** and can get pussy off the street whenever they want.
SLC_grumpypants 5
+1
Blaqkeyeliner 6
It's not used by females only. My husband plays that card on me too. Don't get me wrong he loves sex too but not as much as I do. He's always saying "If you do this I'll give you some lovin' tonight" :P
FMMFL1992 3
Looks like Alan got to 29's comment
zephyrum 0
Then I feel bad for you son.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Dick figures? Oh my god! A racoon! Nature's ninja!
ConBroChilll 9
I got 99 problems but sex aint one
fuzzySilence 5
You must really suck at sex if you can excite a man by saying you wouldn't sleep with him.
KiiwiiRox 6
Is sex that bad? Or is he just gay? Either way, kick him out or walk around the house with sexy outfits until he gets a job ;)
Jmo5050 5
Message me :)
redreynard 14
So he won't be contributing any money or pleasure.... Why are you with this dude? His personality must be one in a million.
emoshadow47 9
So... Just walk away and smack him or something, that is really rude.
unknown_user5566 27
Yup, abusing your spouse because he mistakenly forgot your anniversary sounds totally reasonable. Listen to this one, OP. They may be onto something!
john443 5
^ anniversary?? Lol wrong FML :)
unknown_user5566 27
116- Haha damnit! I was commenting on my lunch break and I must not have been paying attention. :P Either way, though- slapping is not the answer! :)
downtime 13
22, So its okay for her to make his bad day worse, but when he responds he deserves to be hit? Your logic is absurd.
twilightterd 4
sounds like he's abit of a bum, he doesnt deserve to be with you if having sex with you is such a bad thing!
everydayFML2121 5
He's a bum because he's unemployed? Have you seen America recently? If everyone who was unemployed was a bum we would have a frighteningly high amount of bums. And now he doesn't deserve her because the sex is terrible? Glad you could post such a smart, well thought out comment.
leadawg75 12
Well then apparently you really suck at it lmao
Pandacupcakelove 26
If he hates having sex with you, why doesn't he just get out of your life so you can find somebody who loves and deserves you? What a jerk... YDB, You Deserve Better!
SLC_grumpypants 5
She tries to use sex as a weapon & HE'S the jerk? *eyeroll*
Pandacupcakelove 26
"*eyeroll*"? Really? Anyway, he is the jerk because apparantly he was serious about not wanting to have sex with his own girlfriend! If he doesn't want her, he should just leave instead of insulting her.
kirbeaar 19
She even said in the FML "jokingly".
SkoomaKi 28
I've been reading a few comments from this FML and well, what the ****? Just because OP's boyfriend doesn't want to have sex doesn't mean they need to break up. Just because some people are ****/****** thirsty doesn't mean everyone else is. The first and logical step is for OP to ask why he doesn't want to have sex. The second is to go from there and to see what happens.
Vash_41288 10
Thank you for being sane! I was getting worried that people did not know how to have normal healthy relationships anymore. Communication is key in relationships and your going to have nothing but a bad time if you do not learn that. Getting to the core of issues is what is important and will lead to better understanding and happiness.
Vash_41288 10
Thank you for being sane! I was getting worried that people did not know how to have normal healthy relationships anymore. Communication is key in relationships and your going to have nothing but a bad time if you do not learn that. Getting to the core of issues is what is important and will lead to better understanding and happiness.
Vash_41288 10
I have no idea why it posted twice, I can't delete it either. My apologies.
unknown_user5566 27
I agree wholeheartedly, Skoomaki. I also considered the option that the boyfriend could have been teasing her. If OP jokes like this often, he could've been playing along.
MsNight 1
I agree. The normal rational response would be to find out why he doesn't want sex and try to fix it. None of this 'then he doesn't deserve you dump him noooooowww!! Silliness. I can't say either FYL or YDI on this one, I think.