Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML
Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML
Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML
Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML
Today, my dad and his girlfriend left for a 10-day vacation. They booked an expensive beach-house. I'm an A grade student and just last month, he stopped paying my school fees because he 'couldn't afford it.' Oh, and he's making me feed the dog while he's away. FML
Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML
Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML
Today, I came home to found all of my belongings out on the street. My roommate, who is also my brother, apparantly neglected to pay his part of the rent, and we got evicted. FML
Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML
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Top comments
Endo22 0
that'll teach you to stay the hell away from Europe. But seriously, would things have been different if you stayed? Be glad you didnt have to live through it all.
Attrox 0
...Wait. Your sister is pregnant. Your brother is arrested for rape. ... Dude, FYL for having an incestuous family!
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Comments (330)
itouchguy360 3
attrox is full of win
HyperExecuter 0
lol
iambatman123 0
RIP Swimmy
cinnaluna 0
Awwwwwee.... poor fishie... =
Bloodrush 0
wow an actual FML on this site? im rather impressed
jf7609 0
wow....what other good news awaited you?
No1likesMe 0
duz someone want to tell me whats wrong wid his sis being pregnant?
greeneye_fml 12
If you can't figure that out there's no point in explaining it.
No1likesMe 0
seriously if pepl didnt get pregnant u wouldnt b her so dont treat me like a idiot
hellykitten 0
use spell check and correct grammar for once and maybe people wouldn't treat you like an idiot.
jonny2x4 0
I was actually getting into this FML until the part about the fish dying. If you're going to make up an FML, at least finish it strong, not with something weak like your fish dying.
Coccinelle_fml 15
Dude you should write a book and make lots of money. No I'm serious.
DDang 2
Wow, that is like, FYL D: