Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, sleeping in a little late, I was woken up by my phone. Still tired, I quickly checked the display to realize it was my girlfriend calling. I pick up the phone saying, "Hey baby girl!" She seemed pretty startled, so I double-checked and realized it was my new boss, who has the name as my girlfriend. FML
Today, after a recent move into my new apartment, I woke up early to study for an upcoming exam. I hadn't left my bed yet or made a sound, when my neighbor texted me and asked why I was awake. No one in the building has my phone number. FML
Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML
Today, even though I was curious about my ex's new fling, I didn't want to do anything that would put them in an uncomfortable situation. Apparently, that changed when I took an Ambien to get some rest, as I woke up to find out that I'd sleep-followed them. They've already followed me back. FML
Today, I woke up to 20 unread messages from my friend asking why I sent her stuff like, “I hate you” and “Get lost” at 3 a.m. Turns out I sleep-texted during a nightmare. Now I have to grovel and apologize for something I don't even remember doing. FML
Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally answered my Snapchats. He was laying on a bed with purple pillows and sheets. His are gray. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying, "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!" He got mad and left my house. It was my dad in Ohio. FML
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Top comments
passwordis_fml 2
hahaha gotta love ur friend
f_alltheirlives 3
So, did the bed do the trick? Thank god for Mark and his genuine intrest in beds
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Comments (95)
Tahli37 0
WOW this is such a win, why is this a problem?
Kofu 0
Oh dear God, I almost started crying from laughing so hard. I agree with #65. Why is that such a problem? Tell all of 'em to calm the hell down, and that it was a friend, and feel much better that two guys in your phone book find you attractive enough to sleep with you at a moments notice.
roobear 2
Middlingly amusing story, far from an FML though. Now if the last line read "and my ex's new girlfriend just broke down the front door with a baseball bat," that might be an FML.
leenheartlovex3 0
LMFAO
drunkpenguin345 2
man some people can be real assholes.....*writes down prank in notepad* hmmmm.....
animalfreak4ever 0
haha that's funny :)
Hawkblade 0
haha, can I come?
lauri30 0
that's too funny lol
mynthence 0
Your friend is mad win
ILoveSouthPark6 4
wow that really sucks