Wake Up Call By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00 The most frustrating sound ever. I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 89 Share Tweet Share
Today, I got accused of trying to steal clothes because I was taking so long in the fitting rooms with only a couple of items. I got stuck in one of the shirts I was trying on. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 362 You deserved it 5 401
Today, I punished my new dog for taking a shit inside by putting him in the kennel. He punished me by breaking out of the kennel and destroying everything in my house. Including Christmas presents. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 238 You deserved it 3 382
Today, I have an excruciatingly sore throat due to chronic canker sores around my uvula. Every bite of food I swallow brings tears to my eyes. I had enough of dad calling me a wimp at dinner over it and shoved my food onto his plate. He's now faking allergies to food we've had for years, just to take the piss out of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 504 You deserved it 117
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 53 108 You deserved it 4 414
Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 920 You deserved it 3 147
Today, after a day spent together, the police came to my girlfriend's place, telling me to leave without explanation. I'm now at a hotel, discovering she made false, negative statements about me in papers they provided. Despite recent love and commitment, it seems she wants to break up, leaving me confused and alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 563 You deserved it 129
This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.