Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML
Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML
Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML
Today, I mistook a coworker’s laughter for choking and performed the Heimlich maneuver on them in the break room. They weren’t choking, but now they’re afraid to laugh near me. FML
Today, during lunch, I choked on my food and possibly came close to death when my boyfriend's best friend performed the Heimlich Maneuver on me, potentially saving my life. My boyfriend then started arguing with me over letting his best friend touch my stomach. FML
Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I went for a jog to enjoy the fall weather. I tripped over a tree root and fell face-first into a pile of leaves. As I tried to get up, a bunch of kids had gathered to laugh, and one even shouted something about, “A grown-ass man playing in the leaves!” FML
Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML
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Top comments
rocketgurl 15
OP: 0 Jogger: 1
Ramos808 29
Karma sucks, doesn't it? Next time, don't make fun of others!
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Comments (149)
jesterinperil 28
Karma always finds a way.
tac0609 13
That it does my friend. That it does.
vikky538 29
some times through throat and sometimes through ass..
WolliBolli 23
And some times it finds its way to you instantly. Why wait?
yolololol3 17
She chocked on Karma.
Dick_diamond 22
*choked
Retaheki 27
Her name is 'yolololol,' do you really expect her to spell good?
LizetteBerenice 22
Yes it does
doctor__who 19
*spell well
yolololol3 17
Sorry my sister was typing.
yolololol3 17
Sorry my sister was typing.
allisurd 17
I suppose that's karma for you.
rocketgurl 15
OP: 0 Jogger: 1
EmoKami 21
Jogger: 1 Karma: 1 OP: lucky to be alive
countryrose92 23
I would say jogger +2 1 for being overweight and trying to fix it, and 1 for having karma as their sidekick.
garrett_8614 14
Well who said the jogger was overweight?
lexi365 20
OP: -1
gabythatcher 21
#102: -1
Dreamsorrow93 24
I'd of let you choke on karma.
Brittin8or 12
damn really? that's messed up, I wouldn't be that cold :
Patriots21 14
Because your comment was dickish, I don't feel bad correcting you-- it's would have*, not would of.
SystemofaBlink41 27
There's also a teeny, tiny chance that it might be a joke and that she's not really a psychopath. Just a thought.
Dreamsorrow93 24
Maybe some of both. I thank you for the kind thought though.
Roythetickler 21
Instant karma
MMSINCsidecars 9
You deserved it fatass(I know you're probably not fat but you acted like one)
False_Stupidity 42
So, all fatasses are rude, obnoxious perople?
blinked_281 29
No, #50. But OP was sitting on their ass eating French fries while they laughed at someone who's exercising.
Bibblejomin 18
Damn, did I miss Fat-Shaming Friday?
khaoticpanda 28
So...fat people are assholes?
walktowardslight 33
I thought we had all agreed to let "YDI for being a fatass" comments be a distant memory of 2009
teapotrevolt 27
At no point in this FML does it even say what I was doing. It was certainly not "sitting on my ass, getting fat"
MzZombicidal 36
Guys, come on! It's totally obvious that they mean only fat people eat French fries, duuuh!
TallMist 32
#135, what makes you think it's funny when a person gets hurt due to tripping and falling?
bconnollyyyy 6
Payback's a bitch.
ZachHatesPeople 22
Thanks for tarnishing our Canadian rep, Op.
teapotrevolt 27
I know, I'm terribly sorry. I did apologize for laughing. I also apologized for him falling even though it wasn't my fault. That's just how Canadian I am.
ZachHatesPeople 22
I guess you kind of redeemed yourself
TwoXMike 14
Justin Beiber did that a long time ago #8
CrassKal 27
It sounds like a comedy sketch. Person eating junk food mocks the person trying to be healthy, only for the food to literally almost kill him/her.
ZachHatesPeople 22
When Justin Bieber became famous he was an innocent kid. Murica' has made him the way he is...
Ramos808 29
Karma sucks, doesn't it? Next time, don't make fun of others!
XxDevilxXGt 26
OP had a sudden reaction to laugh, it happens to all of us, because it can be funny in the moment. It doesn't mean OP thinks it's funny a jogger got hurt. OP wasn't making fun, either. I bet you're (not) a saint. Sick of "karma" comments. We can't do things that are looked down upon, but also can't do good things because no good deed goes unpunished, so next time OP should... vanish into thin air?
Brandi_Faith 34
I completely agree with 67! Op probably laughed as a natural reaction, not on purpose. Everyone knows that there is something innately funny about people falling. Why do you think all those YouTube "fail" videos get so many viewers. I watch those fail videos and laugh my head off and I even feel horrible for laughing so hard when I know someone's probably been hurt. There's no harm in admitting it's funny. And I'm sure op didn't mean to laugh and that if the jogger was seriously injured op would've gone to help immediately. Everyone needs to get down and step away from their judgmental high horses. :) Op: so thankful the jogger was able to save you, as that situation could've turned bad fast!
CODplayer4lyfe 24
People saying stuff about karma, but if I saw me fall I'd probably laugh too. FYL OP, as long as you didn't make a big scene about the jogger tripping up.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
And we'd all say you deserved it when karma bites you on the arse too