Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
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Top comments
domestica 0
you can't lead a dog on like that and then get all offended when he gives you what you asked for
Vasir 2
HAHA Fail. You asked for it, bud.
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Comments (172)
cinderelly 0
sick.
zandar 0
first rule of being a dog: my tongue can (and does) go ANYWHERE.
NickelPhosphate 0
Why would you even pretend to make out with a dog in the first place?? **********. Lmao.
Guyoverhere 0
Score one for the dog
jal_8_jal 0
my friend actually purposely french kisses her dog everytime she sees him (like yes, lets her dog stick his tongue in her mouth and hers in his)
thecure_fml 0
Why in the world would you do that?
jncwmnd 0
ew..my cousins used to argue with me saying "dogs have the cleanest mouths look!" and they would put a scoop of ice cream on their tongue and let it lick it out..same with sharing suckers or popcicles X_X I dont give a **** if they really do or not...ive seen dogs eat their own shit lol FYL for acting like an idiot
beckyb 0
I could think of grosser things that have been in my mouth than a dog's tongue. Just saying.
ajscw 0
Gross man u don't know where thts been
atomick 0
Why would you give an innocent dog hepatitis on purpose you jerk?