Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the “lowlifes” from my school who smoked weed are all doing better than I am. Some have family connections in real estate or marketing; Others banded together and started now successful brands. My strict parents forbade me from socializing where I best fit in, so I have zero connections. FML
Today, just because my mum's friend's son got better grades than me, she's now treating me like shit. You know what lady? His mom is way better than you too! She didn't attempt to kill her child half a dozen times, and you don't see me complaining about it all day long. FML
Today, I was scolding my 8 year-old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight "A"s like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair. When I asked why, he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML
Today, my ex has successfully turned our son into a copy of himself, a crooked lawyer with alcoholism, a wife who hates him, a mistress he can’t afford, and a pending jail sentence for tax evasion. They’re practically twins. FML
Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Today, I was in the car with my mom. We were discussing my brother, how he's been screwing up majorly lately and she blamed it on his friends. Then she turned to me and said, "It's a good thing you've never had any friends." FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for using legal marijuana to help treat my potentially terminal cancer, which is kind of hypocritical for the man who spent significant portions of my childhood in jail for selling cocaine to rich high school kids. FML
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
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Top comments
unidentifieduser 23
Your parents have a very unique definition of "perfect". Keep doing what you're doing OP.
feven 32
My parents do this all the time. They compare to kids who are twice as bad as me
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Comments (59)
foxy4353 10
god, i hate it when parents do that :/
chogle 8
Maybe they don't like you because you refer to weed as "dope."
ShadowlessSpear 21
A moment of silence for this man's brain cells.
Morning_fml 22
We all go through this at some point in our lives. Undeniably, our parents just want the best for us, but sometimes they aren't good at interpreting things. Just keep working hard and that's the best way you can make them realize their mistakes.
vikky538 29
was it not the other way around in general...sorry OP..good luck with your studies..you don't have to live up to your parents expectations..
Livin_Like_Larry 29
I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just about all parents everywhere
victrin 12
It sounds like your parents come from a culture that values street cred and toughness over intellectual betterment and social progress. I'm sorry. Love them for what good qualities they do have, but don't let their backwardness hurt you or hold you down.
thatonetribute 31
That's how it is, man.
sullivankeara 25
Must have good people skills
Muttley9 13
As Sam Kinison observed, it could be worse; you could be one of Jesus siblings. "Why can't you be more like Jesus???" Take heart, time will prove you the better person.
NamelessFace 22
Maybe he has certain qualities about him, like maybe he's got this assertive personality that people respect, and maybe OP's a bit of a doormat and his parents want him to stand up for himself... Or maybe that's not true at all, his parents really are just stupid, and I'm making excuses. Maybe.