Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML
Today, the company I work for decided to "go green" and stopped using the air conditioner to cool down the office. It is currently 81 degrees at my desk. FML
Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML
Today, I accidentally hit "Reply All" on an email complaining about the office thermostat being too cold. My boss replied, "It’s cold because I control it." FML
Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML
Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML
Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML
Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML
Today, I'm sitting in a disgustingly hot office with all the windows thrown open. There is no fan, and the owner won't let us use the air conditioner. The smell of mold permeates the room from the ceiling, giving me headaches by the end of the day. The owner refuses to get someone in to clean it. I can't quit. FML
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
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Top comments
yamatelle 19
Are you the same girl who went to Subway and said you couldn't handle 12 inches?
italianbby 11
Perv
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Comments (223)
italianbby 11
Perv
LiveLaughFML 10
and the moral of the story is that it takes two people to have a dirty mind(;
burninnapalm 5
Well that's what you get for telling him how you like it.
italianbby 11
I guess just wink at him and walk off.. Ha
mcintosh123 15
OP should have a better explanation
IndiRae 9
I feel like if you say "I like it warm and sticky" you don't need two minds to make it dirty.
changesinme 0
It seems like you're leading him to think that way, op likes it dirty
StoryOfTheYear 15
Wow, what a loser, he's obviously thinking of you dunked in warm lemonade
yamatelle 19
Are you the same girl who went to Subway and said you couldn't handle 12 inches?
HowAreYouToday 34
I honestly can't think of a single person who *likes* being sticky
Mr_Chow 5
Is it weird I got a boner?
enonymous 9
Im hot sticky sweet from my head to my feet.... Pour some sugar on meeeee
mike101abc 0
25 there is some weirdness involved.
jayer_hooo 0
rofl at 19
Chazyj 4
Zing
JustHello123 1
So sad for you op because he's your boss.
sweetandsexy 0
15,18,19,24 LMAO
DFlit1 0
Hey my rugby team one state this past year too... NJ tho lol it's great to c rugby spreading in America
iluvboobies 9
1 it takes one to see one
italianbby 11
Haha ya it's pretty sweet, I just went to the USA vs Canada game, a bunch of my friends play for the USA team
italianbby 11
Coming from iluvboobies...
baconftw 9
I'm not the only ome who likes it warm and sticky then.
IndiRae 9
179- Heck no. Warm and sticky is the only way I like it. My bacon that is.
red1355 6
Prude!!!
misssscarter21 1
No kidding to the comment bout iluvboobies.. 170
jakeJ98 0
Hey justhello 123 message me:)
Iheartfunny 1
12-pffft only twelve inches:)
shooterbuddy 8
Hi sexy
MiniNub 16
yea. he reacted cause a girl said that. He may have reacted differently, but he would have even if it was a guy.
cwissi 5
Oh god
gojira666 7
He'll make you hot and sticky all right
JTHolloway200 0
how would you be wet if your cold
cwissi 5
Good question.
cwissi 5
46 I read your about me as I am the rapist in training xD
FUGYU 2
42, it's maybe already humid. And when humid air gets cold, you get condensation :D
JTHolloway200 0
haha maybe
ginger123456789 0
Great opportunity for a promotion!
commietaco 0
holy shit, there is two of you...guys, there's two of......her...........yeaaaaa
blueyekai 17
I'm very sorry for this, but That's. What. She. Said.
agaba 0
That's just creepy
krysxkatastrophe 14
Just go with it!
ariannaa_fml 17
I posted that in another fml.
flockz 20
thats what a man told me when i woke up next to him in a bed after i got drugged in a bar...
krysxkatastrophe 14
Congratulations?
flockz 20
for what? is it my birthday!?!?!? :D
EvilPotato 15
flockz strikes again!
krysxkatastrophe 14
It could be. Now I have to figure out how to get into the cake I'll jump out of....
mgsoloist 14
Exactly. I see a potential raise in her future. And not just his dick.
May525XoXo 8
Love that movie!
eminemchick 19
71 you look like one of those superheroes from "kickass"
saraheve1188 5
Raise? ;)
clairesucks 37
#145 I don't think OPs salary is the only thing being raised :P
EmilyJoSmyth 4
Lol, sucks for you
jmk1469 5
what a creepy guy.
themacuser 0
hide yo wives, hide yo kids and hide yo husbands coz they B rapin ur body out here!
123amanda123 14
I would be slightly worried to go back to work .... defiantly fyl
samsea 5
She could be sucking soon.
RouletteRed 6
That could be his preference in temperature. Unlikely but cpuld be lol
pieintheface 0
Stupid, or just Troll?
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
176- nah that's just how actors speak in our time period these days :|
Skinnynikki 4
Hahaha that soo funny. I would stop and widen my eyes and slowly look his way afraid. At least you didn't get in trouble or anything.
johnnybagodonuts 2
Thanks for taking us through that, step by step
poor_brown_eyes 2
at first look I thought you were hot. you're not.
KiddNYC1O 22
Don't diss her like that. This isn't eHarmony. It's irrelevant to think she's hot or not. Besides, she's just 14...
hunkypenguin2007 2
Haha
sematariux 7
Fail
charlie43 1
he shoulda yelled that's what she said
DinorawrMonster 5
He should have said, "Can you say that in a sexy voice?". :3
guitargoddess89 3
if she had a boss like Michael Scott, he probably did lol
RyNo24 4
A/C dries the air...
akayc32 0
I was waiting for someone to say that..
sourgirl101 29
11 is so right! The best way to dry paint faster is not opening the windows, it's to crank up the A/C. Fumes will go away faster after the paint is dry.(:
megapeyt 17
I hate it when that happens, you say one thing and it gets taken completely the wrong way!
xDMACx12 7
does it say NSU to the right of the face on your profile pic?
VeganVampyre 27
That happens to me constantly. My guy friends all seem amazingly able to turn anything I say into something sexual, no matter what I actually mean. >:(
Enslaved 38
And I hate it when I completely take it the wrong way! Lol