Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

Today, at work, my colleague started to look for a new job. For me. FML

Today, my boss found out I had applied for a much better paying job. He told me I'd do a better job and make more money there. Then he fired me. FML

Overcompensating

Today, my boss told me, "You oversold your skills in your job interview." I have worked in this industry for 25 years. FML

Know your place

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

Today, my boss told me that he’d hired me because he thought I looked intelligent. He then went on to say that it was about time that I proved that I was. FML

Today, I found out my ex is applying for a job at my current company. She may become my boss. FML

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

Today, I found out that when my boss said she was considering bumping me up to full time, she actually meant she was planning on letting me go. Everyone in the office except me knew. FML