Today, I went over to my parents' house with my female, unspayed dog. I guess they haven’t had their dog neutered, because he tried to mount her. When I attempted to stop him, he knocked me into their stone fire pit, splitting my head and elbow open. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I tripped over a dog and broke my elbow. I'm stuck dogsitting for the rest of the weekend and he won't stop jumping up at my broken arm. FML
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. Wanting to seem like a responsible owner, I lifted him onto the exam table. My back then cracked loudly, I dropped him, and he ran straight into a trash can. The vet sighed and asked, “Rough day for both of you?” FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
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Top comments
fjvitt 14
Did you perhaps think of mentioning this before you brought your bitch in heat over?
AmbrosiaFan 19
Fixed or not they do that.
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Comments (12)
fjvitt 14
Did you perhaps think of mentioning this before you brought your bitch in heat over?
AmbrosiaFan 19
Fixed or not they do that.
raven_of_azarath 35
I once saw a neutered male go to town on a blanket for like 30 minutes. A few years ago, my female dogs also went through a phase where they kept humping each other. It’s kinda just what dogs do.
jmilam90 9
First: unless you are intentionally breeding, Spay and Neuter! Duh! 2nd: Dogs will mount each other even if they are fixed. It’s actually pretty common so just because that happened doesn’t mean a dog isn’t fixed.
Mooglefox 24
Can’t blame this solely on your parents. You didn’t get your dog fix either.
ojosRojos 28
If your dog isn’t fixed, you have to ask if any other dogs are fixed that your dog will be around. Even if you think you already know, ask.
faifai_fml 21
GET. YOUR DANG. DOGS. FIXED. Jesus jumping christ on a pogo stick.
Badgero 12
How big was the bloody dog to knock you over?!?
JuliaKay14 33
Ydi for not spaying your dog.
InnocenceBlue 38
Unless you're a registered breeder, who has done the hard yards and properly researched your dogs health, etc. spay your ******* dogs. We've got enough strays and animals on death row. Spaying is part of being a responsible owner. But I see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as your parents haven't spayed their dog either. On a side note, wtf did you think would happen putting two intact dogs together of the opposite sex? I'll give you a hint, it's not patty cake. YDI, no sympathy from me lol
KittyMack 13
Naw man, **** breeders too, no such thing as a good reason to breed.
KittyMack 13
You're ALL garbage for having unfixed animals. Even assuming these dogs never leave their houses unleashed, they miggt still get loose once or twice in their lifetime, by accident (actually the hormo al ones try way harder to get loose) and what are you gonna do if that escape results in a litter? You find say, six homes for your six puppies, that's six fewer shelter dogs who get adopted, and end up put down. People who fail to spay or neuter their dog or cat are dog and cat killers.