Today, I was the only sober person at a bonfire. After being hit in the eye with a snowball, taking people's keys away because they were too wasted to drive, making sure no one died and stabbing the bottom of my foot with a nail, I got to sleep in the snow. Without any blankets. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML
Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back, even buying them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I got repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room, peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I woke up after I had gotten shitfaced, and tossed out of bars by bouncers several times. I even had pictures of my face circulated to other bars not to be served. I then met a woman I almost smoked crack with, and spent the rest of the night following her while she asked random homeless people for free crack. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, we had to abandon a Winter Scout camping trip midway because of a blizzard. I was hauling my stuff out of the cabin. No one warned me about the icy steps. I slipped, landed on my tailbone, blacked out and saw stars. Everyone is now laughing at me and doing impressions of me rolling in the snow in pain. FML
Today, I went to a party with a friend. All I remember is passing out on the couch. About 10 minutes ago, I was woken up by a bucket of cold water and thrown out by the guy who lives there. I'm still dripping and very cold, and I have no idea where the hell I am. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Llyev 10
Wait what? I assume camping with tents and no one let you sleep in a car or tent at least? You need to get a tetanus shot for real. We're you the designated sober person? You seriously could've died of hypothermia, you need to have a little talk to a friend who was at that party or whatever cuz dat was messed up, if you didn't know anyone there maybe you shouldn't go to such shindigs like that again especially without someone who'd have your back and make sure u don't freeze.
Qandol 26
If they were friends at the bonfire. And if they were all drunk as you said, I'm sure you could of cuddle up with someone so you wouldn't be sleeping outside in the snow. After all you saved them all from getting hurt or die, at least they could of cuddle you:)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (29)
GhostFox 34
Op probably didn't get in a car because, one: hungover people are a bitch to reason with, and whoever owned the car OP decided to sleep in probably would have gotten mad if they had slept in a car. Two, you aren't supposed to sleep in cars that are turned on because it not only uses gas and/or burns battery, but can also be unsafe if the car winds up producing carbon monoxide. Three: EVERYONE could have been sleeping in cars and there weren't any available spot. Four: If there was an available spot, it could hamate been with someone who was drunk and OP didn't feel comfortable being that close to someone under the influence of alcohol for either physical safety reasons or concerns about the person not remembering why they were in the same space come morning. Five: If OP was doing damage control all night, everyone at the party might have been pissed off at them for one reasons or another and made them sleep in the snow as "punishment." Because people tend to degrade into assholes the longer a party goes on.
whatever996 1
This is one of the most Alaskan things I have ever read, and now I'm a little homesick
AirBusDriver 23
Thanks for keeping your friends safe and off the roads! Hope the Northern Lights were happening to make the night a little bit better. .
kait89 6
You took keys. You could have just went and slept in a car
danm19 15
Where are you in Alaska that has snow. I am in anchorage and we have none
willem44 5
if you took peoples keys couldn't you unlock their car and sleep in it?
MidnaLink 35
This is another reason I don't party. I'm afraid this will happen to me BECAUSE I'm the responsible one.
ImGoth 15
Thank you for making sure no one drives drunk. After all the crap that happened to you think about. You could've saved a life.
vein86 6
You always could go to sleep in one of cars, you had keys to...
DonPandon 15
Sleep inside one of the cars?