Today, I was running a meeting feeling very stressed. I grabbed my stress ball out of my bag, squeezing it vigorously throughout the meeting. When I stood up to talk my stress ball exploded all over my new black suit and the desk. So much for relieving stress. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML
Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and accidentally dropped it (not realizing it was made of glass). The bottle shattered into pieces and I even cut my finger on one piece. So much for relieving stress. FML
Today, it was picture day and I had gotten my hair really nice and my outfit was perfect. Then, disaster: I was fidgeting with those squishy things filled with water and glitter, and it suddenly exploded. One second I'm playing with it, the next it's exploded all over my face. It's safe to say I truly shined in that picture. FML
Today, bored to death, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early. The chair screeched loudly as I stood, and my badge fell off and skidded across the floor. Everyone stopped talking to watch me retrieve it before I awkwardly sat back down. FML
Today, I was at a very important meeting with a client and I had to use the bathroom. I was so nervous that I squirted white soap all up my suit jacket. My client walked in and commented on my "jizzy" blazer. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, I was bored in a meeting, so I absentmindedly started flipping my phone like a fidget spinner. I lost grip, spun it towards the ground, then watched it slide across the floor directly to my manager's feet. FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
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Top comments
Amkii 0
This is why you should get the foamy sponge kind next time.
perdix 31
That's the problem with you women -- you have to buy your stress balls. We guys have a built-in pair that we squeeze during stressful meetings (and dates, for that matter) and have a natural limit switch that tells us when were doing it too hard. This mode of stress relief does have the unfortunate danger of also messing up a black suit.
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Comments (78)
UselessName 0
PWNED by stressball
blastvortex 4
That's why stress balls suck. Use baoding balls instead. *bonk*
wingedspiritus 0
We know it wouldn't work as good as the real thing, though. ;D
Waxy5 2
Happened to me before mine was filled with flour though and I squeezed it and it blew up in my face.
ragsy 7
What is in those things anyway?
TJack 0
Owned. Also, YDI for using a stress ball. Couldn't you have beaten up a hobo before the meeting like the rest of us?
Houndourpup 0
I am female but have no intention to ware low-cut shirts. So by the logic of some ppl, it is ok to stare at a girl cuz of what they ate waring, NO WAY! that, truly is disgusting. Sexism no matter what (joke intentioned or not) is not cool. You should think before saying, a female you keep being sexist to is bound to one day be your boss or someone of a higher power. If you dudes don't like us gals makeing sexist jokes then you should shut ur lips.
mbeasley14 0
Go make me a sammich.
vyktor_fml 0
Guys don't have a problem with sexist jokes, generally. So that last bit was a little irrelevant. Besides, a person can look at whatever they want. And because there's over 300 million people in my country, I don't think I have to worry about anyone I know being my boss in the future.
Avatard 0
This would be a awesome skit for liek Accidentally on Purpose rotflmao!!
PoopskinTheLiar 0
i know how that feels, somehow whenever i eat anything with ketchup i'll get some on a easily visible part of my shirt.
uknb93 0
notice how it says "Please be respectful"? Shame on some of you!
whatthefuckcunt 0
hey dumbass. notice how it says PLEASE be respectful? it's a request, not a demand, you ******!