Today, I was at a very important meeting with a client and I had to use the bathroom. I was so nervous that I squirted white soap all up my suit jacket. My client walked in and commented on my "jizzy" blazer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML
Today, pearlescent liquid soap squirted all over my white pants while washing my hands. I have 6 more hours of work looking like I jizzed myself. FML
Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML
Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
Today, while rushing to a big marketing presentation, I started feeling ill in my car. I was stuck in traffic, and before I could get my window open I threw up all over my suit. All I had were some tissues to try to clean the mess before presenting to a full boardroom. FML
Today, I spilled water on the front of my pants right before a meeting so I tried drying them with the hand dryer in the bathroom. A coworker walked in just as I was awkwardly squatting in front of the machine. FML
Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet a potential client. As soon as I sat down, I knocked my coffee over, and it splashed all over my lap. I tried to play it off by making a joke, but I hadn’t brought a spare pair of pants, and the client turned up just as I was mopping my crotch with paper towels. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML
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Top comments
Twisted_Killjoy 23
Should've responded, "only for you.." And then wink. You would've gotten the job for sure!! Or a restraining order...
Psycocharger 19
Very interesting comment...? Did you just not notice it or did you choose not to wipe it off?
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Comments (31)
Psycocharger 19
Very interesting comment...? Did you just not notice it or did you choose not to wipe it off?
9a_1z 12
It sounds like the client walked into the bathroom, in which case they may not have had time to wipe it off.
Psycocharger 19
ah ha, didn't read correctly:P
Twisted_Killjoy 23
Should've responded, "only for you.." And then wink. You would've gotten the job for sure!! Or a restraining order...
NamelessGhoul 11
Well worth the risk!
Lalala579121 28
And if the job was to get a restraining order, it's a double win.
purelymixed 17
Now he knows you like to have fun ;)
trollcrusher 17
No, he knows you're passionate about doing business!
RenamonFucksLuna 21
Uh oh! Naughty boy playing with yourself without asking the others to join!
stangbang92 17
How does a soap dispenser shoot up? Especially enough to go up your jacket? All the ones now a days go directly down and you have to hit multiple times to even get a drizzle. Just curious.
RenamonFucksLuna 21
Probably the soap was in his hands?
CLOTHESPlN 17
Maybe his work actually keeps them full (which is rare enough as is), had a fair amount on his/her hands and then quickly brought them together in a clapping motion, causing it to shoot towards their jacket? Just an idea
Migole 36
In my university building, we have dispensers you use with your elbows (similar to the ones at hospitals) with a very small "pipe" going down from the pumping frame. This "pipe" can be bend very easily and thus shoot soap on you (and the opposite bathroom wall). In addition to that, I know so many different types of dispensers that I'm curious how you might think the Op has exactly that one type at his workplace that you have in mind?
gabechriswill 19
At least the client was chill about it. Hopefully you still closed the deal, OP. follow up.
bitchs_and_hoes 20
You should've just taken it off.
photographer49 22
#8 Why? I thought it was a nice ice breaker
darshini_ii 24
He shouldn't have decided that moment to cum in..
9a_1z 12
Your client should be pleased you take personal hygiene so seriously that even your blazer gets soaped after a bathroom visit, especially since they'll probably have to shake your hand at some point.
lysx84 24
Don't care how old I get or how mature I'm supposed to act - "****" always makes me giggle. Definitely in my top 10 favourite words.
marigoldcobain 21
Why? **** is so ugh
norpedo 16
what's number 1?
Ichiya 29
The word moist