Today, I was going to put some Italian dressing on my salad when I noticed that the oil and vinegar weren't mixed. After putting the cap back on, I shook as hard as I could. The cap came flying off and I showered myself in the dressing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, to eat healthy, I made myself a salad for lunch. While shaking the salad container, the lid popped off, sending lettuce, cucumbers and dressing all over my cubicle. My boss walked in just in time to see me wiping vinaigrette off of my keyboard. FML
Today, after a shitty day, I went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. When I grabbed the salt container, the bottom lid came off and the salt went everywhere. FML
Today, I decided to spice up my lunch by adding hot sauce to my sandwich. Little did I know, the hot sauce bottle had a faulty cap, and as I squeezed it, the entire contents shot directly into my eye. Now, not only is my lunch ruined, but I also look like I just auditioned for a role in a tear-jerker movie. FML
Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML
Today, I bought a fancy salad for lunch and went to eat it in the park. A strong gust of wind flipped the lid off and launched half the salad into my lap. As I jumped up to shake it off, I slipped on a stray tomato slice, fell backward onto the grass, and watched as a seagull swooped in to eat my croutons. FML
Today, while I was trying to put on my deodorant, the whole stick popped out when I took the cap off, narrowly missing my face, into the toilet. FML
Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML
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Top comments
countryb_cth 38
Instead of shaking as hard as you could, you should have put that strength into tightening the cap lol.
Phooey 22
it's not the first thing you showered yourself in after shaking it hard.
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Comments (51)
ahole69 2
bukkakie!!!!!
napalm_uniqorn 27
That's a good way to get "dressed" in the morning!
noynek97 10
Did you at least do some sort of sexy dance to make it look like you were just really horny?
trendkilla254 4
If you shake it more than twice you are playing with it.
B6LLT 14
well, at least you're dressed
dunicha 20
I did that once with ketchup. It looked like I'd murdered someone in the middle of the Waffle House.
Ogodwhyzzz 6
There's a sexual joke somewhere but I don't want to sink that low.
Klima_fml 29
Always make sure the cap is on, I learned that the hard way with golden Italian. :D
Antroxium 7
I guess you can say you DRESSED UP for that occasion.
SmileSunshine626 7
don't you just hate that?