Today, I walked in on my son flopping around on the floor with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Apparently at age 22, he'd rather pretend to be a mermaid than go out and get a damn job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML
Today, my grown-ass son is refusing to get out of bed because some anime shark girl he watches is quitting YouTube. FML
Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
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Top comments
Cookiimonstr 12
Not gonna lie, I have similar priorities.
Zatert 20
Maybe he can get a job at Sea World?
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Comments (72)
esca6angel 16
maybe there's a mermaid troope and he's practicing??
lunaangel 14
well you can actually get a job as a mer person
YFOS_fml 17
how about cutting the cord and kick his arse out so he can man up and get a job
weebitcreepy 5
I read it as "today i walked in om my son fapping around"
yunabraska96 7
He can always be a mermaid at disney
Scratchworks 2
Stop feeding him, or filling the fridge or cupboards. Necessity is the mother of growing the #%&@ up.
fictionaldiary 11
You do realise that this is a fail on your part, right?
Cuntflaps 7
fuff fuff fuff
Cuntflaps 7
should have given him money ? and praised him. That's not a skill you're born with.
als80 1
Professional mermaid performer here. I actually started at 22 yrs old, and it can be a very lucrative business if it's done correctly. Let him live his dreams AND make money. Heck, get him a monofin, and have him get some exercise. It will be good for his self-esteem and physique. Contact me if you have any questions.
rhymeswithmayo 4
You're the parent. Do YOUR job and PARENT.