Today, I walked in on my son flopping around on the floor with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Apparently at age 22, he'd rather pretend to be a mermaid than go out and get a damn job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML
Today, my grown-ass son is refusing to get out of bed because some anime shark girl he watches is quitting YouTube. FML
Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
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Top comments
Cookiimonstr 12
Not gonna lie, I have similar priorities.
Zatert 20
Maybe he can get a job at Sea World?
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Comments (72)
cacheson 42
I think the word OP is looking for is merman... If it's her son. However if his outfit is complete with a seashell top I may concede that point:
cacheson 42
Sorry, his son.
TheNewGuy03 29
Can he do the worm? If so, he might be going places.
Colon_Man 17
Very slowly, but still places.
buckdharma 38
Maybe he could start his own business. Mer-Maids! Attach a mop to his tail, and tell him to get swishing.
Draveren 11
Look on the bright side: he could've been pretending to be a unicorn, running around the neighborhood with a tin foil horn and a pair of coconut halves to make a gallop sound. (Yeah, Monty Pithon style.) OR he could've actually believed he was a mermaid.
pooldude 24
Goldie, Goldie, Goldie, Goldie!
ThatHorse 15
Don't knock it. You and I both know his priorities are perfectly fine.
routerere 10
Actually, the correct term is mereman.
loser_mgee 2
Your son and I are very similar....
Gromann 9
Nobody in their right mind would rather be an adult than a mermaid. But he'd probably be popular as hell on Twitch.
orneryvixen 15
Sigh! Since he is a male, the correct term is merman.