Today, I told my father I registered for the Marines, and that I'm leaving for bootcamp next week. He asked if this means that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a fight with my parents, I told them I was running away. They said, "Good. Now we have less to pay in child support." FML
Today, my mom and dad went to court to negotiate child support for me and my brothers. During the meeting, my dad was asked, "Sir, are you saying that the only reason you want your sons to live with you full time is so you don't have to pay child support?" To which he responded, "Yes." FML
Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML
Today, I discovered that I don't have a college fund. My mother stole the money when she divorced my dad and he never bothered to tell me. Now he's offered to pay my tuition if I go to a military academy. If I don't take the offer, he wants me to move out by next Friday. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
Today, my dad asked to borrow some money off me, so I said okay. Later on, he told me he'll be using it to help divorce my mom. I pretty much just helped pay for my parents' divorce. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML
Today, my dad had something to tell me. He'd cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML
Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML
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Top comments
rileykins 0
if you're old enough to join the marines, aren't you old enough to where he doesn't have to pay child support already anyway?
Therealbeast660_fml 0
SEMPER FI!!!!!!!!!!!
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Comments (129)
USMC5803 0
If you just enlisted today, you would not be leaving for boot for a while, theres still going to MEPs for ASVAB, Swearing In, and then being in DEP for some time. Something is fishy here.. Semper Fi none the less.
smoke_eater05 0
guy's French. I didn't even know they had Marines..or a military for that matter (with the exception of the foreign legion)...
shmikey 0
it says today he told his dad, not signed up, and French marines might be different
aardvarkish 17
Sometimes being the voice of reason is like pissing in the wind.
kaijapapaya 0
OP said he told his dad, not that he enlisted today. Odds are he just put off telling him.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
aard! Where you been, foo? We need your wit around here.
gameplayer529 0
as a Marine I say good luck brother. You won't need to take anymore crap like this, you'll be submitting a whole new line of fmls lol.
j1114 2
lmao 15 u r so right! my husband is a marine , and he def can submit some FMLs
RedPillSucks 33
As a marine, who gets money if the enlisted die? (a serious question). I think OP should change his beneficiary so his dad is not on the list.
jameses19 0
We have to put down our next of kin. But you can put down anybody you want to, wife, children, brothers....
hahalooser 0
LOL 15 so true... My shoes are now broke from running 10 miles on Camp Pendleton's mountains and firebreaks this morning. Fun stuff right 0.o
iCommentFML 0
Gj bro Marine are awesome
C33JAY 0
damn. I want go either in marine force recon or army rangers. marines are effn awesumm though! and good look over there bro. kill summ goat ******* for us ok? haha semper fi
iCommentFML 0
good look...
JokeMeister 0
Good question, bad timing!
_streets_ 19
daang
misfitSuperStar 0
Sorry, OP. Your Dad sounds like a real douche!! fyl. :(
gorecake 0
FYL for being a Marine.
udeserveditbro69 0
**** you dumb bitch, a marine and his rifle are the most deadliest weapon in the world.
damienn_fml 0
child support only needs to be paid until you are adult - and if you are a minor your guardians must sign if you join the militairy. which means either your already an major and your dad doesn't actually have to pay - or - your a minor and your father already knew about this... OR your father gave up paternal rights to your mother :: who hassole guardianship of you :: and your an idiot for not seeing this coming.